Resident Evil: A Hopeless Story
by Miss-98
Summary: Sylvia Jones is moving to London to work for the BSAA yet she remains uncertain if she will cope with her new life. Is her past still going to haunt her? What if she regrets moving away from the comfort into the unknown? The answers to these dwellings reciprocates when her path is crossed by a special person. OC/Chris
1. Prologue

**HELLO! And thank you for clicking on this story :) A few words first, all the characters do not belong to me. Everything is owned Capcom's except Sylvia as she's mine. The story follows the early years of our protagonist, then there's a time jump to 2012 following 2013, so it's safe to say that it takes place during RE6. Some parts of this story will stick to the game's plot and the first chapter (prologue) is not the beginning but a section from the story, just wanted you to know!** **That's all, I hope you enjoy reading the story :)**

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The buildings that had missiles directed at became soiled, sabotaged and the smoke arose from the fragments of the buildings that had been struck, resembling a slithering plant growing on a wall. These apartments functioned as homes for people but up until now the buildings had turned into memories as the cement built and somber apartments began collapsing. The resident's scream echoed, more shrieks of horror made themselves heard loudly as I examined the scenery closer but the smog created by the missiles made it difficult to see clearly. Complete chaos reigned. I began to cough so violently that the air in my lunges felt thinner and my eyes stung from the dense and filthy air. If I wanted to carry on living the time to flee was promptly yet my conscience pressured me to search for civilians, anyone who wasn't infected by the virus or killed by the projectiles. I pulled up my weapon, ready to fire if needed and slowly crept forward although nothing was seeable. My good deeds had put me in this mess, that's what I told myself, as the coughing got stronger and stronger but deep down all of this, this fight for justice was for one reason, though at times such as these it was hard to remind myself of the reasons. The ground beneath me had suddenly changed from being hard asphalt to soft, sinking sand; I must have entered the playground. How could I possibly survive when I barley saw anything or understood who was who from the screams? Men and women roared and the panicked children cried for their family. I was gripped by despair upon hearing the disturbed, bestial yells coming from mutated humans and my chest began to twinge but somewhere inside a power kept me to moving forward, a power I never suspected existed within me. A fight between my old selfish part and the good part settled in, yet no matter decision I chose I slowly understood I wouldn't survive this so I might as well try to save someone's life. It was all I could do amidst the chaos. To tell the truth it was surprising how I remained humane during the last parts of my life…after all what else should we be in these times?

A figure with wounds spread over its body ran screaming towards me but before the creature settled its claws in me I shot it in the head just like Chris had taught me. But this wasn't just a creature I thought, looking down at the corpse, but a person. Anger took over me, awaking a form of unstrained rage, as I thought of the people who were responsible for all this. It led an adrenalin rush through my body and I rushed faster towards the buildings to leave the playground. I found myself surrounded by creatures and shoot violently around, no human seemed to have survived but me. Half of them must presumably be dead or severely injured because now the screams only sounded inhumane and savage-like. Suddenly the distant sounds of a helicopter emerged from the sky and looking up my hope was confirmed - that a helicopter had actually turned up. A voice from above shouted, "take cover", I tried running back to the playground, stumbling I found my way back to hide behind the slide. The helicopter managed to kill the rest of the creatures then it seemed that the helicopter landed. So someone had decided to look for survivors. I didn't know whether to feel shocked or happy hence it ended up being a combination of both. As the chaos faded a burning sensations in my head took over and it was as if I had fallen down from the sky with my head landing first on the ground. I remembered the fatal blow I suffered when the missiles had been fired. My ears were suddenly bleeding and all the energy left my body. The people from the helicopter hurried to me but I didn't catch who they were before my eyelids sealed and I passed out. The last thing I heard was a person yelling "she's about to die".

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Glassy, kerosene lamps light up the damp room only enough for me to be able to explore the room, although it didn't do much since I merely had the strength to raise my neck up so I didn't have the best view. I sniveled from the pain; it felt like someone had pushed me down the stairs and then buried me under a pile of rocks. My second instinct, other than figuring out where I was, was assuming what I should do next – escape or stay put and pray that I was safe. This manic behavior had remained a part of me ever since it all began; somehow it was only obvious the worldwide situation was headed on the path downwards. Again I found myself thinking if living was worth it, after all it wasn't living but surviving. Well, that was it for me and that it had always been. If I had been kidnapped whoever patched me up must have cared enough for wanting me to survive, I rationalized, so I mustn't be in any direct danger to the least. The thoughts in my mind rushed to Chris, where was he? Was he safe or had he also been brought here? And the rest of the team, I prayed for their safety...Oh, how horrible I felt, this was my second mission as a SOU for the BSAA and I had been close to dying and now apparently someone kidnapped me. Again I wondered where Chris was and how he felt knowing he had lost his partner. Tears ran down my cheeks and the physical pain couldn't even compare itself to the mental one. I began sobbing loudly, no one was in the room so I might as well - abruptly I stopped and listened to someone's footsteps outside the door. A heavy lock on the door opened and the noise of someone's heels on the ground made me alert.

 _Click clack click clack_

It was too hard for me to lift my neck and peek up so I had to wait for the person to arrive beside the bed instead I examined the sound made by the person's shoes, it must be someone heavy...this person had a specific walk I noticed as if they were overly-confident. The cold sweat running down my back increased, the tears had stopped and I clenched my fists ready to fight although I lacked the power for a blow. The person had suddenly stopped walking mid-way to the bed, I supposed, still not being able to see who it was but I figured the person was about to utter something.

"You're very special to me, you should know that," said a robot-like voice but whom it was expressed by I did not know as once again I fell into the darkness.

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 **Any thoughts, comments, questions? PLESE SHARE :)**


	2. The Early Years

**Reminder: Everything belongs to Capcom but my own characters.**

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I was quite young the day my father passed away, in a car crash my family were told but evidently his body was so severed and split, there was simply not a possibility to put him in a coffer so people had to lay flowers over an empty one on the day of his funeral. Memories of the funeral was misty as it played out in my head, merely pictures and motions were visible - displaying black clothes, huffed cries and condoling flickers from the eyes staring at the young me. Sometimes a slow, dispiriting violin would be playing too. Thinking about it now, how could a car crash be so severe it tore apart someone's limbs so violently? But from the look on my mother's face when she had returned home after identifying the remains of him I understood it was possible. I would also imagine it was that time life lead me into a difficult path in life. My mother was especially shocked, she was one of those people who had the luck enough to duck away from the sad and difficult things in life so once her husband died it was more than a shock to her. It was a realization that life never cared, you were just like the rest - bad things would take place in people's life nonetheless and it could sometimes split one's soul so gravely one would never become their old self again. Days passed by with me lying down on the green lawn in front of my first home after the accident. I always hoped my father was going to walk up the driveway telling everyone the police were mistaken about the body and that the body had belonged to someone who had stolen his car. He would pick me up, tickle me and call me Viv as he constantly did, then my mother would run out of the house crying from joy and returning back to her previous character. Everything was going to be wonderful and I'd have my family back, as it should have been.

My father, Peter Jones, was a scientist and had just started working for Umbrella, it was when Umbrella was still arising and before it became known as a bio-terrorist organization. To this day I never knew of my father's intentions, whether they were from the good of his heart or not but I remembered him as a loving father. The first years of my life were the greatest; I keep looking back at them in gratitude though the awareness of how altered my life got after his death memories of good times only brought me down. The teenage years were the hardest. I became pessimistic, angry and never did a day pass by without me complaining, sighing, or crying. I believe that when you lose the best parts in your life, may it be your job, your family or simply that life wasn't easy; it becomes harder to carry on. One is constantly reminded of the better things that were before and there's a sorrow that is carried with one throughout life.

My mother let that sorrow consume her; in all honestly it was as if she had also died according to me. A week after the funeral for my father - she had woken up and not awoken me (she always used to wake me up in the most magnificent ways). After I had climbed out of bed, searching for my mother, I found her laying on the couch in the living room.

"Mom", I said, shaking her little but she didn't give me an answer.

"Mom, are you all right?"

She didn't respond; her eyes were staring on the celling and they had...no life in them. I was so scared and worried that I had no idea to do. I never forget the suddenly anger in me that appeared. She had never acted like this before, why do it now when I needed her the most?

"Mom, mom, mom!" I began to shout, shaking her more violently but it was in vain, she remained there. I carried on with this for ten minutes but later on I gave up. Giving up would become something I did too easily, there were so many things I let slip through my hands as I recall. It was things such as quitting eating unhealthy and looping, staying behind in school and worst of all never reclaiming my life.

After the day had passed without any reaction from my mother I decided to phone my grandmother and explained the situation, she hurried over to our house despite that she lived in another city. My grandmother was shocked and decided to take her to a doctor. Mom was diagnosed with depression. At that time I didn't really understand what it meant, but grandmother told me it was difficult, almost like losing a piece of your self-everyday. She whispered in my ear, both of us watching my mother gloating at the food in front of her during one dinner.

"Imagine you were told everyday that you lost someone you loved but that someone is just a piece of you. So we have to help mom just a little more, okay? But she'll be all right soon, I promise."

My mom had help to take care of me. She scarcely showed the slightest signs of improvement and this turned into a time of trials for me, I felt I was being judged on how I felt and dealt with the situation and the better I did the more chance I was pleaded innocent but that sentence never came. Because I kept feeling guilty for mom's situation, I felt bad for being angry with her and acting like a brat at times.

My grandparents lived in Raccon City but because they took care of my mother and I so often they planned on letting the two of us move in with them. But another tragedy took place and scarped another hole into my soul and it was larger this time. My grandparents died in Raccon City outbreak. I think I cried more when that happened perhaps from the trauma of losing so many close family members in such a short period of time. Gemma was my grandma's name and she had helped me during the grieving of my father's death and without her my recovery wouldn't have been achievable, for that little time she had to consult me I recovered not fully but a little to the least. It was if she understood me well, whenever I'd stay in my room for the whole day, never leaving she didn't have to ask what was wrong because during that time anything could set me off. The mention of my father, his work, our Sunday family fun that we'd used to have or even watching the cartoons on a Saturday morning made me sick. Dad and I used to watch the cartoons together.

Therefore grandma insisted on creating new traditions that we would follow, there was our Sunday walks and Friday Fun. Grandpa made dessert everyday, since he knew sweets had always been my week spot. Sometimes grandma scolded him for not thinking of what it would do to my health if I ate sweets everyday so he had to slip in a few healthy treats too. Grandma also reminded me if ever I didn't feel like going to school it would be all right, having the knowledge that grandma wouldn't force me into doing something I wasn't ready for encouraged me to go although I didn't feel like it. But merely two months and a half later I lost them too, at first it was my father, then my mother since I'd always count her as well and lastly my grandparents who knew how to look after me and take care of me, they had all absconded and all of these losses defeated me.

It's horrible to say but luckily my father's mother was still alive and we could move and live with her. She used to be very strict and firm but after the two misfortunes that occurred within a short span of my preteens she probably felt that wasn't what I needed at that time. Although she felt sorry for me, I felt she didn't have those feelings towards my mother. One time I noticed her glaring at my mom with judgment in her eyes and shaking her head disappointingly. I was so angry, how could she have the nerve to judge her? But I wouldn't believe she deliberately wanted me to catch her looking with judgment at my mother. She did after all help her and took my mother and I into her home with open arms so I couldn't allow myself to hate a person who was helping me.

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 **ANY THOUGHTS? Lemme me know!**


	3. A Shared Connection

"Don't forget your lunch." My grandmother shouted, extending out her hand that was clutching onto the lunch-bag. I rushed to her, grabbing the bag then slammed open the door and yelled a goodbye.

I paced through the suburb mother and I had moved to a while ago, the majority of the houses here were built during the early 1930s, this used to be my father's old home. He was very fortunate as a child, grandma had explained to me. He had two other twin-brothers whom both had left the country after their high school graduation and lived today in Europe, I rarely saw them during the time my father was alive and even lesser now because he had passed away. Their mother, my grandmother, was a housewife who took care of the housework and their father was very successful in his job so they never lived in worry of their economy.

Although it was the late 2000s the people who lived in the suburb seemed to have stayed in the 1930s, all the inhabitants in the houses consisted of the typical family, a father who was probably a CEO and a mother who was a housewife with their two or three children that all went to the same nearby school. The town itself was little so everyone already knew who I was when mom and I moved in with grandma as well as why we had to live there and our story. A couple of days after my mother and I had settled in I began to notice how people gave us looks of pity. Eventually it began to irritate me because I knew what they thought of us, I was very good at reading people. The inhabitants in this town would love to see someone else endure since it was a reminder of how much better their life was. So I glared back at everyone, which they noticed and apparently my grandmother had heard gossip from her friends that instead of pitying me people started to spread rumors because how rudely I glared back. I was agitated by the crudeness of them so was grandma but she said that I shouldn't keep acting the way I did because they wouldn't cave in. Therefore I ignored them instead.

Today was the first day of high school; I was starting my second year. The high school was a fifteen-minute walk from my house; it was behind the big hill nearby the centrum that had a tiny shop, a café (where almost all the students ate because few managed to get through a school-day with that school-lunch in the belly) and a barbershop. My friends Kathleen and Sara were already standing outside the school, anticipating my arrival.

"Hi, how's summer been for you?" Sara asked, waiting for her turn to hug me.

"As always, I guess." Sara embraced me warmly, her hugs were much more preferred than Kathleen's slack ones.

"I hate that feeling you get when you come back to school, like you haven't done all the things you wanted to do." Kathleen complained, her and Sara always worked the entire summer and if not they would often travel with their families. Sometimes I joined them only concerning the work part but not the travel part because of the state my mother was in, so surely the story tells itself to why I had boring summers.

"I know." I muttered trying to ignore the stomachache from hearing that Kathleen had the nerve to complain when she got to travel to Spain and Portugal. Both of my friends had some type of shallowness to them but Kathleen's shallowness was more vain and materialistic, it never troubled her whenever she would exaggeratedly gossip about others and believed every rumor she heard, I wouldn't lie that sometimes it could be pleasing to gossip about others especially if it was about someone I didn't like but her constant shit-chattering even irritated Sara who enjoyed gossiping more than me. Sara would get all quiet whenever Kathleen exaggerated and while Sara sat cross-legged, her top leg would shake violently from irritation. Kathleen didn't notice this, being all caught up in her own world.

We scaled the stairs leading to the large entry of our school with the other students. Many looked as if they had enjoyed the hot summer we were lucky to experience (for me the weather didn't matter since I barley worked on my tan but in this town everyone looked sunburnt at the end of summer). Funny enough Kathleen's, Sara's and mine locker stood next to one another which also was the place where all three of us first met and had decided to walk to the aura together.

Sara had moved here that first summer but she knew almost everyone because her family were only moving back into their old house, Kathleen told us she was looking for a fresh start ever since what happened at her old school, which she however never explained "what this horrible thing was". I was just hoping not to have all of my old classmates as my new ones in high school since almost our entire class spent all those years ignoring each other. Thankfully it eventually worked out for me and although the three of us rarely hung out with other classmates during school time Kathleen was constantly invited to other parties and Sara was still friends with people she knew from first grade. After leaving our things in the locker we headed for the aula where the principle would have a speech then present the news, welcome the freshmen and we could learn if someone from the staff had been replaced. The three of us were quite on time so as we waited as the aula slowly filled up with students while Kathleen and Sara were talking about something uninteresting I looked around to see if there was any new students.

"Hmph." Mrs. Johnson, the principle, hummed in the microphone. The staff were standing behind her, all lined up in a perfect row, I noticed some new faces amongst them.

"Hello and welcome. Today is nervous day for some of you," she said, nodding to the first row where all the freshmen had to sit. "For others it's an exciting day because in a year you will leave the school and set off into the real world. But before we spring ahead of time, I would like that everyone stands up to sing the national anthem."

Suddenly the room was permeated of the noise from students stepping up on the wooden floor subsequently another instrumental sound joined in and was coming from the end of the room where the speakers stood. Everyone sang and some mimed, others had their hands on their heart. Lastly the song ended and people sat down.

"Thank you, now I want to present newcomers. First we have Mrs. Nary who will be replacing Mr. Filke, the math teacher. We also have the honor to welcome another janitor Miss. Wilson and lastly the freshmen will be having a new PE teacher, Miss. Tray. Please give a round of applause to welcome our newest members of the staff." Everyone, including the other staff gallantly clapped.

"We also have the delight to enjoy a music piece by Mr. Smith and afterwards a drama poem will be performed by Miss. Garcia."

Our school was unusual for an American high school mainly because the founder was married to a Swede who encouraged the school's founder to incorporate Swedish high school culture. One of the differences was the friendlier relationship the students could develop with their teachers and it meant that the teachers themselves would sometimes step in and offer the entertainment during special occasions.

This time the staff clapped in order to show we should join in as well to which we did in, meanwhile the principal lowered the mike and Mr. Smith, who was paralyzed from the waist down rolled forward in his wheelchair with a guitar lying on his knees.

Mr. Smith was a very good singer and he had apparently written his own song as heard from one of his students sitting in front of me, the audience roared and clapped after the song had ended. The drama teacher's performance also held the same level as the previous one although she performed one of Shakespeare's' sonnets which could be hard to understand for those who didn't pay attention.

The day carried on as it always did and I went home with the same feeling, happy that school was finally over for the day so I could return to my books and movies.

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It was mid-October when I realized how fast time had moved by and fortunately that meant the holidays were getting closer. But that comprehension of how fast time moved didn't struck me until I would come home from school and it was only during class it appeared as if time stood still. Schoolwork went fine, I was happy with simply passing because I rarely aspired to achieve more than the average person although whenever the teachers would smile extra at Sara or mention how great her essay was I felt a sting of jealously. It is a luxury to be able to have ambitious goals, I always believed. I mean, Sara had her own private tutors while grandma barely had time to help me with homework and mom...well she wasn't in the state of helping me. I kept questioning if I should actually study more until Sara mentioned how she never got any sleep because of how much she had to study, especially as the rings under her eyes grew heavier when school finals were showing up.

One day in late November the principal reported during morning announcement that we would have the new PE teacher, Miss. Tray, since Mr. Peterson (our regular PE teacher) was sick. There had been rumors of Miss. Tray being one of the survivors from Raccon City but they were quickly shut down when she told students she was in London during the outbreak but she mentioned she had family there and grew up there (she still remained very secluded, Sara's little sister who was a freshmen had said). I personally felt as if we had a connection, an understanding of how that outbreak changed things for us, it seemed stupid but people could easily talk about it because they didn't have any personal connection. Miss. Tray might have shared my opinion as I noticed how she would sometimes smile whenever I passed by her in the corridors or that time when I was late for my chemistry class and she looked the other way instead of putting me in dentation. Her glances also never gave me the same feeling I got when I received pity looks from people in town; from her they appeared to be understanding and full of empathy.

Luckily for the sophomores Miss. Tray was a good teacher and not as strict as our usual PE teacher. She let us stay inside instead of forcing us run around the track in the rain as Mr. Peterson would. When we entered the room it was full of different apparatus and she had a smile on her face.

"Welcome, I'm filling in for Mr. Peterson if someone hasn't heard. Unfortunately I won't begin where Mr. Peterson left off instead we will try different types of baseball you find around the world."

It was a surprisingly fun class and especially for me as I never liked PE. Apparently my opinion was shared with others in my class as I heard girls talking positively about her in the dressing room after the class had ended. I was fully dressed until I realized my cardigan was missing.

"Sara, have you seen my cardigan?" I asked in a worried voice. My grandmother had knitted it for me and she would be upset if I lost it.

"Check in the gym, you maybe left it there." Sara responded, packing her gym cloths.

I ran back and found Miss. Tray packing back the things; she heard my panted breath and turned around.

"I guess that's yours?" She asked, pointing at my blue cardigan that was lying on bench. I grasped it.

"Thanks", worried it might come off unforeseen I said it anyway, "today was really fun, Miss. Tray."

She gave me another of her heartwarming smiles. "Thank you. You're not from this town originally, are you?"

"No, I moved here some years ago. I'm from a town outside Raccon City, it's called Falksson."

"Aha, so you do enjoy living here?"

"I guess. I haven't been to many places so I can't compare it to anything."

"Well, it was nice talking to you hopefully we'll get to do again, it feels as if you and I already know each other because we're probably the ones who's not originally from this town."

I figured if to tell her that my father lived here almost his whole life but realized it wasn't necessary.

"Yes, you're probably right but I better hurry to my English class."

We said goodbye and I jogged back to dressing room, feeling even better than I did earlier.

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October passed by and the town suddenly became filled with sense of anticipation as the holiday sneaked closer. Every year the town had a Christmas fair the very first week of December and it wasn't until that fair I got a chance to talk with Miss. Tray again. Grandma had forced me to come along since she refused I kept my anti-holiday act, I despised the holidays every since they started sucking and only reminded me of the old days, yet I unwillingly woke up earlier one Saturday to accompany her and keeping in mind I could at least get my hands on some sweets.

Our town's centrum had only a little street "Gazer Street" that had some shops and a restaurant-fair together with a museum. Almost everyone in town had shown up particularly since this year there would be an entertainment stage. Gazer Street was stocked with small stands selling different things and at the restaurant-fair many of them had put out table where pick-food was neatly laid out. The stage had been set up near the harbor, which was a little walk from Gazer Street and a large Christmas tree was placed nearby, it looked extra extravagant this year. I noticed some of my classmates the minute grandma and I arrived, I awkwardly said hi to a few of them. When we had walked another bit well into Gazer Street I heard a familiar voice.

"Miss. Jones?" I turned around and saw Miss. Tray waving at me. Grandma looked at me, waiting to clarify who she was.

"A teacher, can I talk to her?" I asked.

"All right but hurry back afterwards there's contest I want you to help me with."

"I'll be quick." I left her and strutted back to Miss. Tray who was looking at hand-made decorations.

"Hello, Miss. Tray." I said.

"How are you? I suppose you have also been smitten by the holiday spirits."

"Well that is unavoidable in this town, I feel sorry for whoever's not celebrating Christmas in this town." I felt unusually comfortable having a conversation with her, if it had been another teacher the conversation would have felt more strained and forced.

Miss. Tray laughed and began to walk to the next stand with me following her and trying to avoid bumping in to anyone, the street was very crowded.

"How is school going for you?" She asked.

"Uhm, well, I try my hardest." I responded, feeling awkward.

"That's good. Have you ever thought about what you want to do after school?"

Now the conversation was steering into an unfamiliar area for me since I had never given much thought to what I hoped to work with. Sara and Kathleen wouldn't shut up about so whenever they discussed the matter I zoomed away from reality and into my head, mostly because I didn't want to think about the future.

"No, not really. I mean I'm still a sophomore."

"Yes, but it is better to start thinking early so you don't find yourself in shock a month before you're graduating. You can start easy, what's your favorite subject?"

PE popped into my head to impress Miss. Tray but since she wasn't my PE teacher I spoke the truth instead.

"Biology."

"Ok, do you want to be a doctor?"

I let out a laugh.

"I don't think I have to energy", or the desire for that mention, "to maintain the grades needed to get in to med school."

"Hmm, a scientist?" Miss. Tray suggested. I thought of my father, it would seem as if I would honor him but the profession merely felt too challenging and honestly boring, sitting in a lab room for hours and staring into a microscope. I needed something more active and there were further ways to honor my father's memory.

Miss. Tray tiled her head to the side, looking rather conflicted. "Well, do you have any hobbies?"

"No, not any special ones...nothing out of the blue, I would say." Though I had an intense like for solving riddles, I was always accused of being too curious and my favorite genre in books were detectives but how could I a conjure out a job from that hobby? "Unless you'd recommend me to become an author or actress."

She let out a laugh. "That was my dream when I was younger, to become an actress."

"How did you know you wanted to work as a teacher?" I hope it didn't come off like I was trying to rummage through her private life.

"I didn't know that so after high school I joined the military."

"What? Really?" Miss. Tray glared, her eyes filled with amusement.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's all right. I'm glad I did it because it eventually led me to join S.T.A.R.S, which was an organization to work against terrorism together with other scientist from Umbrella under the legal power of Raccoon City's law enforcement."

"Umbrella…? I've heard of it somewhere; I think it was the place my father-" I was interrupted by my grandmother shouting my name.

"I think I've borrowed you from your grandmother enough it's best if you return to her, I wouldn't want to distress her." Miss. Tray said, smiling. Grandma pushed through the crowd to get to us; she had several shopping bags she was holding onto.

"Hello, my name is Deborah Tray and I'm one of the teachers at Miss. Jones's school." She put out her hand and grandmother shook it.

"Hello, I'm Beatrice Jones. It's a pleasure to meet you, so have you managed to find something good?"

"I was but then I had the joy to talk a little to Miss. Jones here, she's a very bright girl."

"Thank you, Miss. Tray." I said as my cheeks turned a little red, teachers rarely or actually never called me bright.

"Well, I recommend trying the Espionage's special Christmas wine, it was delicious."

"I certainly will, now if you don't mind I've got some gifts to buy for my nephews."

Grandmother said goodbye and then dragged me near the stage where we had to take a quiz walk about the artist performing tonight. After the first five questions she was shocked to realize she knew more than me.

"I never said I liked these musicians, grandma!" I complained when she shook her head disappointingly because I couldn't even pronounce one of the band's names properly. Apparently grandma had heard them on the radio and me too, she said, but obviously I wasn't paying attention.

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 **Please review, it only makes me want to write more...:)**


	4. Entering An Uncertain Road

"Ugh, I'll never know what I want to study, it's so difficult with all these school and programs." Kathleen complained and threw away another brochure.

Sara, Kathleen and I were sitting in a café; we had just been to a fair where multiple universities presented their school and the three of us had snatched each brochure or advert we could get our hands on. There was a month before it was time to send away our applications to the different universities and adding on the pressure of choosing the right school with the amount of schoolwork the juniors received this was certainly a time of stress. Even grandma took the time to sit down with me after dinner and look for diverse schools whilst mom scowled at the TV. Grandma wanted me to go the closest one to home but the problem was that the closest college let in a few students and had a little section of things to study.

"Oh my god, I hate the fact that the nearest college that is offering med school is in the outskirts of the state." Sara said, moaning loudly.

"Don't you want to move from your parents?" Kathleen asked.

"You don't understand, my parents would never allow me to do that because it's not accepted in my culture!"

"But they're the ones who want you to become a doctor?"

Sara moaned again. "I know, they're gonna have to make an exception for me." It was a bit quiet before she added: "But I also don't want to leave. I don't know anything! Like how do I wash my clothes? How do I pay my bills?"

"You'll figure it out and besides your parents will help you, right?" I asked and looked over the brochure I was holding.

"I guess so…"

"What about you? You haven't said anything about your plans." Kathleen stared at me.

She was right. I never spoke a word of my ideas in front of my friends nor grandma and mom or anyone for that matter. The thing was that I had no desire to say anything about what I planned to do. I couldn't stop thinking about Miss. Tray's own story. She had stopped working at our school after a year, rumors went around the students claiming she had found a guy out of state and moved together with him. But she had actually inspired me to get closer to my ambitions of applying to any military academy by informing me of a good gym in town to start working out which grandma was delighted at as I usually spent my days locked up in my room, yet she was unaware of why I had started working out. Not only that but Miss. Tray gave away her private e-mail if I ever wanted to apply to a military academy she had promised to write a recommendation letter. Despite that one and half a year had passed by since our talk I had went to bed that night thinking about that could be what I saw myself working with. I never displayed any particular interest in any of subjects at school and I didn't really have any hobbies that could give me a job, I also couldn't be picky regarding colleges I would apply to cause of my grades. An aspiration of mine was to join the military and possible work within the field of medicine. Every time I imagined myself explaining my goals to grandma, the react would be her shaking her head and scolding me. If I joined the military I would rarely be home and help her with mom and the chances of me coming back from operations…I don't think she would be able handle it. But it was necessary the way I saw it; that's what I needed to do as I had no idea to what my true ambitions were or my purpose in life so going to military school would discipline me, toughen me up and I would travel to the gloomiest corners of the world, it sounded odd yet that was what I desired it. Because quite frankly the options that remained were of no good for me, such as traveling around the world with no money, going off to another depressing school or stay home with grandma and mom, in a house filled of vibrating, hidden emotions.

"Sylvia?" Kathleen awoke from my thoughts and now Sara seemed interested in what I had to say.

"I dunno", I said. "Maybe something with medicine?"

After two hours of sitting in the café, discussing our ambitions the owner informed the three of us that it was closing time so we took our things and said goodbye to head home.

Grandma was making my favorite dish, oven-baked potatoes and chicken, I think she was celebrating the fact that mom had the strength to leave home to shop for groceries with grandma. We had it tight with money but luckily my uncles from dad's side helped us a lot, they were successful with their two shops they had opened in London. Grandma had worked a while after grandpa had passed away so she received a little of her own money. The problem was trying to pay for mom's medicine and it was when I was a sophomore I realized I should get a job which I managed to do easily. For a year now I have been working at the local bakery (grandma was friends with the owner), every other weekday for four hours plus on the Saturdays and Sundays it was eight hours.

I left my things in my room and headed downstairs to sit with mom. She looked a little fresher than yesterday, her hair was tied up and she wore clothes instead of her pajamas and for once she didn't have that laptop on her knees, neither me or grandma had any idea what she did on it merely that she was overly obsessed with it.

"Hi." I said.

"Hi, honey, how was school?" She asked without looking at me.

"Good, we went to a fair then...nothing really. What have you been up to?"

"Not much. I went out to help your grandmother with the groceries."

"Sylvia! Can you help me with dinner?" Grandma shouted from the kitchen. I always had to help her with dinner.

"No, let her rest since she just got home from school. I can help you." Mom said and went up.

I was surprised because she would only help out whenever it was a holiday dinner and not even then. It felt as if she was improving but my heart sank in my chest as I remembered how many times grandma and I thought she had progressed only for her to fall deeper into the depression. I prayed that this wasn't one of those times and decided to help them; I also put on the radio since I heard music could improve one's mood and ignoring the fact I had decided I wanted to tell grandma of my planes today. It was better to leave it to another day.

* * *

 ** _Years later…_**

The alarm went off with a loud buzz and it kept buzzing until I gathered enough willpower to shut it off, I took my cellphone from the nightstand next to me and glared at it – the time showed 4.30 AM. I moaned loudly as I hardly had had any sleep but I told myself I could sleep on the airplane. I sat up straight and let out a loud yawn and remembered it wasn't this early when they woke us up in military school. My suitcase was packed and ready, regarding the furniture's for my new apartment - they had been moved a month ago and my uncles promised to provide some furniture's themselves for the new apartment. I was finally moving to London to work for the BSAA. Just a year after graduating from military school and another year working in the military I managed to get a job at one of the most famous anti-bioterrorism organizations with the help of a lot of recommendation letters from my old superiors. My uncles, Greg and Frank Jones, had helped me with finding an apartment in London because they had spent most of their life there; I owed them everything, as they were the ones who aided me in accomplishing my goals, a journey that began when they visited us in the States for my high school graduation. Both of them informed us that they would be opening a shop in their childhood town but their news also meant that they could help grandma and mom more than just the economic part. It had still been problematic to persuade grandma to let me join the military, surprisingly mom stood behind my decision. I was exacted, and even more so now, things went finally well for me and I was ready to embark a new chapter in life.

I managed to eat a banana but since it had been barely five hours ago since I ate my stomach wasn't really shouting for food. Before departing I looked to make sure I had everything with me: my passport, cellphone, keys to the new apartment...after checking everything off my list I looked around in the somewhat empty and tiny apartment I had lived in for the past years. The only thing left was a mattress which grandma would later remove for me. I could have chosen to sleep at my grandmother's house but since I had one day left and saying goodbye wasn't the easiest for me I decided the last night I would spend in the States would be in this apartment. I mumbled goodbye to my old home and locked the door. The taxi I had ordered was already waiting for me outside the apartment complex.

"Hello there." The cab driver said with a smile, he was a bearded man who appeared to be in his late fifties.

"Hi." There was trouble brining my suitcase down the last stairs and the old man hurried to help me.

"Are you travelling?" He asked curiously.

"No, moving."

"Where? It must be a state far away if you have to take a plane." He asked while placing my suitcase in the trunk of the taxi. I wasn't good at socializing with strangers and unfortunately I had succeeded in receiving a social cabdriver.

"England." I mumbled.

The cabdriver whistled. "That's far away."

"Yeah." I said, having no idea how to respond to that.

I got in the back of the car while he put on his seatbelt and started to drive, thankfully the radio was playing songs so the environment in the car wouldn't be complete silence. I remembered I had to call grandma to say goodbye on the phone one last time before getting on the plane, she and mom must be up now although it was very early.

"So what is it you're going to do in England? Work, study?" The cabdriver asked, glancing back at me and noticed I was holding my phone towards my ear. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to disturb." I held up my hand and smiled to show it was all right. The cabdriver was polite enough to lower the volume on the radio.

"Hi, honey." Grandma said in the other end of my phone.

"Hi, I just wanted to call and tell you I'm on my way to the airport."

"Oh, I'm going to miss you, have you checked to see if you have everything?"

"Yeah, I have. I'll miss you lots too."

"Ahhhh, you're already speaking British English."

"I thought I should start already in case of fitting in."

Grandma was calling to mom in the other line. "What was it? Oh, you'll fit in great, sweetie." I heard someone else gripping the phone.

"Sylvia, honey, how are you feeling?" Mom sounded sleepy as if she had woken up now.

"Great, just a little tired." I looked out the window and noticed we had left town and were on the highway.

"If you need anything just remember to c-"

"Call", I disrupted. "Don't worry, I'll be meeting uncle Greg and uncle Frank in the airport, right? They'll help me."

"Yes, I know but it's going to be so new to you and maybe you'll be shocked to how different it is and-"

I interrupted her again. "Mom. It's not that big of a difference, it's fine and to be honest I'm really looking forward to it!"

Mom would constantly act very paranoid and anxious, the reason lied preferably with her depression but it was also a part of her personality, no one in her family committed to big changes in their lives unlike my father's family. But I was happy that she was taking her part in being a mother, it felt a little odd in all uprightness: she had acted this way too when I moved out to go to military academy.

"Grandma wants to speak to you one last time. I love you, honey, I hope everything goes well and if you need anything, call, promise me?"

"I love you too, take care." I murmured, hoping that the cabdriver wasn't eavesdropping on the private conversation.

"Hi, I just wanted to check on you again. Look in your bag if you've got everything with you." Apparently mom wasn't the only one who was worried. I went through my handbag once more and noted everything was with me.

"Yes, got it all."

"Okay, honey. Goodbye and I love you. Be sure that no matter what problem you face you'll call us immediately, okay?"

"Yes, love you too, grandma. I'll call when I've arrived."

The cabdriver raised the volume on the radio again and drummed his fingers on the wheel, it seemed to be his favorite song and in the middle of the chorus he began humming too. I looked out the window and sighed, wondering if this was what I really wanted.

 _"Don't be stupid."_ A voice in my head said.

 _"But what if-"_ I tried to avoid that tiny voice of uncertainty. It had been like this for a long period of time, the summer after high school graduation turned out to be a long summer of fighting with grandma over my choice of school. Our relationship suffered from the cold and mean things that left our mouths during the fights, not that it was a really close relationship but after my father and my grandparents from my mom's side passed away the closest person to me became grandma despite the rude comments she at times uttered. Mom wasn't in the position of taking care of me during many years so our relationship never developed, recently that had changed but after stopping the progress in a relationship for more than a decade it's hard to carry on indifferently. To blame mom for her depression would be unfair I realized in my late teens yet a sting of anger remained because we never lived as a mother and daughter should. There wasn't a time for us to go shopping to together, nor times where she should have yelled at me and disciplined me or times when she should have consulted me because I had had a fight with a friend or something alike the things others experienced…simply the tough things that people go through together which can improve a relationship. I started to drift into my thoughts, going through memories and leaned my head to the window. The drive to the airport wasn't supposed to be long and would preferably take two hours but after passing through two cities the cabdriver appeared to be bored and began speaking to me again.

"So, what kind of job are you going to have?" He asked as his eyes met mine in the mirror at the front.

"I enrolled into the military and had some basic training then I worked for some time. Now I've earned a job in the BSAA."

"BSAA…?"

"It stands for Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance. It's a non-bioterrorism international organization, you could say."

"Yeah, I think it was in 2009-"

I interrupted him. "The Plaga outbreak in Kijuju? Yes, it was a horrible outbreak."

"Awful, just awful, so many people died in the outbreak. How can man do these vicious things? I don't understand it."

"Then it's good there's something like BSAA, right? To stop the people who thinks it's right to spread viruses and..."

The cabdriver let a weird mix of a laugh and snort. I guessed it must have looked like I wanted horrible things to happen so I could have a job. There was a short pause of silence whilst the music from the radio played as background noise, in hope of not meeting his eyes in the mirror I turned my head to the window and noticed the airport was visible.

"We're close." The cabdriver said. I took a deep breath, I was really leaving the country, it was actually happening for real now. "You're nervous?" He asked, noticing my deep breathing. I merely nodded. Although it was a small airport and an early morning many seemed to be flying today, then I recalled it was Sunday so people must be traveling to work or back home from work. The cabdriver assisted me with the suitcase and I pulled out my wallet from the handbag to hand him money. Before he left, he stood up and faced me.

"Goodbye now, I hope London will do you well." The sentence sounded a bit embarrassing which he marked because he promptly sat in the car and drove away before I could say a word.


	5. London

In my opinion, London was too big and too vibrant. I had lived in a town with a population of barley thirty thousand people so the English capital was like a very rapid movie taking place before me and I was too confused to understand what was happening. After checking out and taking the suitcase in the airport I saw uncle Greg and Frank standing outside the gate, one of them was holding a sign that said WELCOME SYLVIA where's the other uncle had prepared a wagon for me to place my suitcase on.

"Hello, Sylvia! How was the flight?" Greg I presumed was the one asking but to be straightforward it was difficult to tell who was who for me but over the years I noticed that Greg had a tiny scar near his left eye. I hugged him and answered that the flight went well. Then I turned to Frank to hug him; luckily they weren't those peculiar types of twins who always had to wear the same clothes. But they had mentioned to me one time it could be very convenient being twins like when they dressed up for Halloween, their favorite dress up was Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

"I suppose you're tired and you'd like to head home and sleep?" Greg inquired.

"I slept during the flight so I'm all right." I said, lying just a little but I was too excited to go to sleep and the time was only seven or eight o'clock in London. There was a taxi waiting for us outside the airport and the cabdriver drove us straight to London, unlike the one who drove me to the airport this taxi-driver didn't talk much. My apartment was located some ten minute walk from Paddington so I would only have to take the subway to BSAA's headquarters where I would be working. Frank, Greg and I were discussing what to do in London during the car ride and Greg had written a THINGS TO KNOW IF YOU'RE NEW IN LONDON-list for me. Greg had always been the responsible uncle who took care of his younger brother while Frank was very mischievous and joked a lot. It was interesting to see how twins could have very dissimilar personalities. When we arrived at my apartment I offered to pay the taxi-driver but my uncles refused and paid the bill themselves. I was really pleased to see everything was already fixed for my apartment when I entered it. The place was on the fourth floor and to the right after climbing the staircase (the elevator was out of function, apparently most elevators were out of function in this city, said Frank). First was the narrow hallway where there was a shoe rack, to the left was my bedroom with at quite low-leveled bed, wardrobe and desk, all the colors in the bed were in dark blue colors. From the hallway and straight ahead was the open living room that had only a couch and TV with a large window that let in the light wonderfully and of course the kitchen which barely had enough room for a table with four stools.

"It looks wonderful, thank you so much. I'm so grateful I-" I uttered, stunned at how lucky I was.

"You're our nephew, Sylvia, and after our brother…passed away we knew we had to take care of you." Greg said, smiling. "Besides Frank enjoyed decorating your apartment, he's the one who also fixed our store's interior."

I convinced them to stay for dinner and I managed to conjure up a dish with the potatoes and eggs that were in the fridge (my wonderful uncles had additionally purchased a few groceries). I made a Spanish omelet, which tasted rather well. After finishing the food on my plate I felt sleepy, Greg noticed me bobbing my head and since he was aware that I had work in the morning he reminded Frank that they also had work tomorrow, claiming the two of them had to leave. I said goodbye to them at the door and locked it after them, being too tired to unpack I headed directly to sleep and dozed off within minutes.

* * *

I had woken up an hour earlier before the alarm was supposed to go off but instead of trying to get another hour of sleep I got up, put on my socks on which I did every morning because I hated feeling the cold floor. After washing my face and using my usual skincare products I made scrambled eggs from the leftover ones and some coffee not that I necessarily liked it but I figured that's what most grown ups drink in the morning.

Everything felt odd as I leaned on the kitchen counter with a mug in my hand and looking out the window. I lived near a very crowed street, which thankfully lowered the price on the rent. I saw many people hurrying to their jobs on the gloomy Monday morning. The cars and busses kept beeping at each other; both of them deciding their time mattered more than others. Didn't they ever stop to think why they did all of this, why they allowed themselves to stress over things and act rudely towards strangers simply because they believed their time mattered more than others? More importantly, they never seemed to think about the fact that there were people out there who tried destroy what these humans who felt was so precious. Secret organizations that worked on developing weapons that could destroy everything in mere seconds…I zoomed away in my thoughts until my phone rang and took me back to reality.

Greg was the one who had called. "Hello, I hope I didn't wake you?" He asked.

"Nope, I have been up since 6.00." I said and took another sip of my coffee, it tasted horribly and I must have messed up while making it.

"Well, are you nervous? When do you start?" He sounded like an anxious mother who didn't know if he should be excited or worried for his daughter. I felt affected and little guilty for having believed they were being horrible when they left grandma to work in London. Now I was in their position as I was doing the exact same thing. We were all just trying to be good family members and I had been too quick to judge my uncles.

"I have to be there eight o'clock so I figured I can take the subway around 7.30, I should be able to make it on time, right?"

"Definitely", Greg said. "Hey, I was wondering if you would like to eat dinner with us tonight so you can tell us about your first day."

"Sounds great!" Excited I took another sip of my coffee, having forgotten that it was disgusting and in fear of taking another sip I dumped the drink in the sink.

"Also, did you remember to call your grandmother?" My heart sank a little, realizing she must have been worried-sick from me not phoning her as I had promised.

"Crap, I forgot." I mumbled.

"Don't worry, just call her now. I think she's still up even if it's late. She phoned us yesterday and sounded a little too concerned about you."

"Thank you for reminding me. I'll call her right now."

"Do that and I'll phone you at six o'clock for dinner, is that all right?"

"Yeah, bye." I finished the call and searched for grandma's number in my phonebook. She _was_ really worried and lectured me about forgetting things but calmed down afterwards. Mom had gone to sleep, she explained but it sounded a little as if they had fought but I ignored questioning her about it due to being stressed about making it on time for work and said goodbye to grandma. I looked at the time and was shocked that it was seven so I rushed to put my cloths on, fix my hair and used just a little make up (grandma had forced me into applying some on my first day, "it will make a good impression", she had said). Finally I was read to leave the house and locked the door behind me.


	6. Work Life

The headquarters for the BSAA was located on a crammed, wide street and luckily for me a subway-station laid nearby. The building occupied some great deal of space and next to it were fancy hotels, shops and restaurants. It was very tall and almost silvery, the place didn't fit well in as if the place wasn't supposed to be in the old city instead it would have looked better in New York, the city of skyscrapers. I entered the building and showed the guard my ID-card but he gestured that I had to press on an electric lock. The ID-card had been already made on my first trip to London. I took the elevator to the eight floor where the main office for the employees was positioned. First I figured if I should take the stairs in case of getting an extra workout (I had been skipping a lot of workouts lately) but realized I would be sweaty and late which were the last things I hoped to be on my first day of work.

I saw lots of different people in the elevator as I treaded into it and some of them muttered a "hello" in which I responded with smiling. The woman next to me wore a clean, white rock and safety goggles, she was holding onto an E-flask without a lid on top, I hoped it wasn't something dangerous and more importantly that she wasn't clumsy. Fortunately for my paranoia when the voice from the elevator said "Floor three, biochemical examinations and tests" the woman stepped off. Two other men who seemed to be carrying very heavy suitcases because of the fact that they were struggling when they got out of the elevator at floor five ("Floor five, workers lounge and canteen"). At last one girl that had short, brown hair and two lattes in her hands remained in the elevator to ultimately go out at the same level as me. The hallway in the eight floor had vast windows and before me was a long corridor with plants standing here and there. As I walked through the corridor I saw doors on each sides that lead into what I assumed were offices. The room that was at the end of the corridor was extensive and had a fantastic view of London; I could even see the parliament from here. I looked around and saw several shelves and cases that were in lines next to each other like bookshelves in a library, they covered the ends of the room, leaving the middle of it to let the daylight in. I was taking in the sight to fully understand I was actually living out my ambition, forgetting I was blocking the way.

"Do you need help?" Someone asked. I turned around to face the woman I saw in the elevator, she was still holding the lattes and apparently she had an American accent.

"Uh, yeah, I do." I said dumbstruck. "I'm new here and I'm supposed to meet Mr. Bailey, do you know where I can find him?"

"Of course, I work here!" She said, chuckling a little. It made me feel a little stupid. "Follow me."

I walked after her, she rounded the left part of the shelves and I saw another door, on it was written: MR. HECTOR BAILEY, SUPERVISOR IN CHARGE OF FILES AND DATA FOR BSAA.

"Here is his office, you can just open it, he doesn't mind. I better leave before these get cold, one is for a friend " she said, reaching up her engrossed hands.

Just as I was about to open the door she shouted: "By the way, my name is Rebecca Chambers. It was nice meeting you!"

Rebecca? I recalled having heard her name somewhere, never mind, I reminded myself I had to focus unless I wanted to embarrass myself in front of my boss. I opened the door, having untimely prepared a smile. This room only had shades of the color brown and reminded me a lot of those offices from detective TV-shows. Mr. Bailey, a man in his early forties it seemed, was wearing a suit and his glasses were about to fall off when he looked up to see who entered his workplace.

"Welcome, Miss. Jones, I assume?" He pronounced with a smile and his arms stretched out. I nodded, still smiling. "What a pleasure. Please sit down." I seated myself on one of the armchairs that were in front of his desk.

"I just have to look at your papers before you begin working." He got up and opened of the drawers then retrieved what were probably my files and sat down.

"So…Sylvia Jones. At age of twenty you had already completed a basic military education that focused on armed combat, right?"

"Yes, that's correct." I had finally found my voice.

"A year later, you've managed to climb three positions in the military. That's a little too much, might I say. You remind me a lot of Rebecca." He said, looking up from his papers.

He must be talking about the woman I had previously met. "Yes, well, I really care about this, it was difficult for me to figure out what I wanted to do after high school but after a couple of weeks in military school I immediately felt this was truly what I wanted to work with."

It came out much like a cliché but I didn't mind that right now despite the fact I already had the job I still sought to impress.

"That's good, I encourage all sorts of excitement although your job perhaps isn't the most interesting jobs you can have when working for the BSAA." I was a little unpleasantly surprised to hear what he had just said, if even the boss confessed to the work not being fun the job must be appallingly boring.

"You have all the requirements needed but I should say that you would be more fit to work as a SOU…" Subsequently he stopped talking to stare at the papers in front of him.

"Wait a minute, Jones? I remember that name."

My insides went all cold as if my organs were replaced with blocks of ice and suddenly the only desire I had was to sink through the chair and away from here, did he realize that my father used to work for Umbrella? If he knew I had a connection with one of the largest bio-terrorist organizations he would fire me without doubt.

"Are you perhaps the daughter to one of the Jones twin-brothers?" I was taken aback first, twin-brothers? Then I remembered I had uncles who had famous sweetshops in London.

"No, I'm not their daughter. They're my uncles."

Mr. Bailey chuckled. "Oh, right, sorry. A little sidetrack there. Incidentally I'm sorry that my assistant had to interview you, I was too sick to come and we had to found someone quickly so we couldn't wait until I was sick-free again." Sick-free? This man was a little weird.

"It's all right." I said. The man who interview me was very polite although I was annoyed when he asked to me stay another week for another interview before he decided who should receive the job offer, but he probably asked because he had taken his task very seriously.

"So I want you to check if your contact details are correct." He placed one of the papers before me and I read them thoroughly.

"Yes, it's all accurate."

He jumped out of his chair, placed back my files and turned around. "Right, right…up we go, I have to show you around." I seized my bag and followed him. He locked his door and walked straight ahead through the room with shelves and cases until we arrived at a new door, I noticed that there had been another workplace but this was bigger than Mr. Bailey's office, mainly because it appeared to be the office for many other people. The walls were filled with photos, articles from newspapers, postcards and more photos. Several stands had been jammed in there with chairs making it look like a classroom but at the front of the room were more shelves, funny enough it was behind the tables where a chalkboard had been placed and next to it was a table for coffee. The people who worked here didn't seem to have detected me, they were all too busy talking on the phone or running to their co-workers discussing things.

"This is where you will be working." Mr. Bailey said. I was shocked; I thought I'd be working where all the commotion occurred, maybe as an agent reporting to the ones who were out fighting in the world. When I spoke to his assistant I was too busy making an impression rather than understanding completely what I was going to do here.

"It's often disregarded but according to me this is where it all happens…ah here comes your supervisor." Mr. Bailey gestured at a dark-skinned and tall man who must have been merely some years older than me.

The man who I was going to work for reached out his hand, I grabbed it – it was warm.

"Welcome, I'm Saro Acker but you may call me Saro." He said. Did I detect a German accent?

"Thank you, I'm Sylvia Jones."

Mr. Bailey clapped his hands. "Well, I better go now as you've met Mr. Acker." He left with a smile on his face and humming.

Saro started to walk and I assumed I should go after him nonetheless he stopped at the third desk-row from the door.

He pointed at the desk next to where he had seated himself. "That's where you'll be working. I take care of the paychecks for the workers here. You'll be assisting me. You'll have lunch at 2.30-"

He stopped talking because of the look on my face; I had raised my eyebrows, glaring. Lunch at almost three o'clock, now I wished I had eaten something else than just the eggs.

"Don't worry, you can take something from the table over there later if you're hungry. The snacks and coffee are for everyone." He pointed at the table in the back where every once in a while someone refilled their cup of coffee or tea.

"On Monday mornings I check our website, which you'll be assisting me in, to see if everyone has put in their right work-times. Even if the system itself clocks when you come to work in the morning and when you leave…" he said and I remembered I had to place my ID-card on an electric lock before the guard let me through. "…There are still people who have meddled with the system and since there are so many who work here I'm sorry to say that this is what we will mostly do on Mondays. But now what you will be helping me we'll preferably have time to do other things than this. I also don't think this is a thing that'll last or I hope it isn't." He stopped talking and took a sip of his coffee.

"You guys drink a lot of coffee here, huh?" I uttered cheekily. Saro grimaced and nodded.

"All right, we also have interns here but most of them are at level three and they don't have the ID-cards, luckily for us we don't have to track their work times but we'll have to get their papers from their overseers every Friday afternoon."

Afterwards Saro, who was very technical, helped me with my own login on the BSAA:s website and using the website was easier than I thought. I started working with him to check when all the workers arrived and left from last week. It had barely been ten minutes since I started checking for mistakes in the system and I was already extremely bored. How the hell was I supposed to get through eight hours of this crap?

* * *

The first week had passed by quickly, not too quickly for me but for the department I worked in. On the first Friday I experienced too much stress and worry that when I came home three hours later than my supposed hours of labors I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep immediately. Every part of my new job required so much from me I was even too busy to be home-sick but I enjoyed the fact that I fell asleep immediately as opposed to the nights where I spent hours alone in the dark room with my own thoughts, unable to drift into sleep.

But I gradually adapted to the work and my days began to pattern a routine where I woke up early, started the day with a light breakfast so I could hurry to work where I would find lots of snacks to munch on, afterwards I sat by the desk for two or three hours straight gawking at my computer and answering phone-calls for Saro that he didn't want to answer.

"Just tell them I'm gone and that I'll call back." He mouthed to me whenever he knew who the person calling was.

It wasn't till I felt a soft pain in my lower back I decided to take advantage of the employee's gym to exercise. Luckily there were a lot of machines one wouldn't usually find in the typical gym, it was adapted more for how the army trained with things like a small obstacle course. Of course I was allowed to leave for a workout, Saro had said, so I was able to train everyday.

After the workout it was time for lunch and during the first two days Saro accompanied me to introduce me to the workers but on Thursday he murmured he had an appointment with someone, I reckoned he started to get tired of me, as if this had been school and he had to take care of me - the new student. I tried speaking with some of the people I met in the lunchroom but the majority turned out to be as fond of talking as me, which was not at all in the mood for chatting. The resuming day was spent by the desk and when Saro eventually saw me becoming restless, he would let me go home.

It wasn't until Tuesday on the second week of work when Saro asked again if I wanted to join him and some co-workers for lunch. Awkwardly I asked where they were going since I barely had enough money to pay for a decent lunch in town, I hadn't gotten my first paycheck yet and when he said they were going to eat here, I gladly said yes. Possibly the best part about this job was that the workers got free lunch (the free lunch must be compensating for the low salary) nonetheless the food wasn't all too horrible, in fact the lunch options were many and healthy to my relief.

I had the chance of meeting most of the workers throughout the first week but bearing in mind that around fifty people worked at level eight as Saro had explained to me, the chance of me hanging out with all of the workers or befriending everyone was little. Yet everyone seemed to help each other since our job assignments were alike though after hearing what some had to do I felt lucky to have my job. One of Saro's friends, Nawra Darzi, whose profession didn't exceedingly have a suitable name had to take in people's complains about the BSAA and answer them. I was dazed that it was imaginable for others to complain about how the organization operated, most of work were preferably secret for safety reasons, I had assumed. But Saro enlightened me that it was regularly politicians who pretended to be concerned about the work being executed against terrorism.

"You see, this thing about bio-terrorism has been getting bigger and bigger so people are scared, they don't know when another outbreak will happen so the politicians take over this fear and use it for their own gain", muttered Saro on an early Friday morning. "But politics is seriously something you don't want to discuss here unless you're looking for trouble." I looked quizzical at him, expecting he'd elaborate on what "trouble" meant but he shook his head and returned to work.

I learned that most people came to work early particularly for one reason: to get their hands on "the snack of the day". Since level eight wasn't the part of the organization that took on the physical challenges no one here cared about their physique. The woman, who sat in front of Saro and I, a computer programmer who took care of the web-design and such, was originally from Sweden and she had presented everyone to something called "fika". It was a part of the traditional Swedish every-day life and basically meant that people had a reason to eat more sweets and drink more coffee or tea.

I started to worry I would lose all I built up in military school which was also why I had begun to use the gym, what was good about that prospect was almost no one in this building seemed to take an interest in using the gym not even workers from the other levels so I had it for myself.

On my first day, about one hour after Saro had presented what would be my job assignments he had yawned and said he would take a break. Eventually I understood a "break" meant that the workers went to the lounge were one could play video games, table tennis or card games or merely glare at the TV. My fear of being bored to madness vanished when learning of this yet the laziness I had had from my teenage years came back so I attempted not to abuse this opportunity. Saro observed this so he tried several times to convince me to accompany him to the lounge but his attempts were in vain as I resisted politely and he gave up at the end.

The people Saro spent most of his time with were Nawra Darzi, Lenny Tran and Paul Cooper. All three of them had a very laid-back and indifference concern to their jobs as they would come over to our desk and talk – a lot. Apparently Saro was a close friend to Rebecca as well but whilst she didn't work here, Saro wouldn't tell me where, I saw her rarely; moreover it wasn't until when Saro had invited me to join him and his friends I would meet her again.

"Are you ready to go?" asked Saro, he had already grabbed his bag and was up on his feet.

"Yeah, just a minute." I was rechecking that I had spelled everything correct on one of the e-mails Saro required me to write.

"Ok, let's go," I said as I took my phone and logged out.

We walked to the elevator without Nawra, Lenny and Paul because they had gone before us. The worker's lounge on floor five consisted of four rooms including the toilets, the gym, the lunchroom or canteen as they said in London, the break room and the resting area where you could sleep; again I was surprised we had something like this, why would the employees sleep here? The canteen reminded me of my schooldays where students would line up for the food and lastly sit somewhere with their "squad".

"Oi, you, we've saved you spots." Lenny shouted when he saw Saro and I, Saro nodded and cited we were just going to get food. Today soup was being served, there was a greasy-looking soup with meat and it seemed to have ticked off people as the vegetarian option, the tomato soup, seemed to be all ladled up. The food lady refilled the container and I filled my bowl, took some side sallad and bread then seated myself with the others. Rebecca was there as well and next to her sat a red-haired woman who chatted gladly.

"Hi, I remember you, didn't I meet you on your first day?" Rebecca wondered after I had sat down in front of her since my mouth was crammed with bread I nodded and tried to smile.

"I don't think you've met Claire? Anyway, this is Claire Redfield, she's the sister to Chris who co-founded BSAA with Jill Valentine." Rebecca uttered, gesturing at the red-haired.

I almost chocked on the food after what Rebecca had reveled. I had no idea why Chris's sister would be here unless she worked here which Rebecca didn't mention but I certainly wanted to make a good impression in front her, especially because I was aiming to land a better job than the current one. Not to remark that Chris and Jill probably had a hand in who received work as a SOU and Claire was Chris's sister...

"Hello, I'm Sylvia Jones, nice to meet you." I said and stretched out my hand for her. She shook it and smiled.

"New here? What is it you work with?" Claire asked. It felt like weird to hear her American accent, for a reason I alleged she would have a British one, I always felt home-sick whenever I heard American English.

"I work at level eight with Saro Acker." I said and nodded at his direction.

He was in a conversation with Lenny, slurping on his soup and not noting he'd dropped some soup on his shirt.

"Oh, I remember Mr. Bailey telling me you were better suited to work as a SOU, have you thought of applying to work as one?"

Again, I almost chocked on my food though this time it was the soup. "I can apply for it?"

Claire and Rebecca grinned. "That's how most people get work there. I think we're in need of more SOU:s, especially considering how many reports of outbreaks we're getting." Rebecca uttered.

"Yes," said Claire and turned to face Rebecca with a gloomy face. "That's why Chris didn't come here with me, he had to fix something in New York but he promised he'd be here in a few days…"

I hoped to meet him; maybe I could convince him I was suitable as a SOU but as I tried to listen if Claire was mentioning when he would arrive in the UK I was let down, they had changed the subject and talked about things and people I didn't know of so instead I listened to what Lenny and Paul were discussing. Saro had noticed the spots on his shirt and rushed to the bathroom.

"No, I'm not joking, I can do magic!" Lenny almost shouted, everyone except Paul glared at him with his or her eyebrows raised.

"Uh, sorry," he muttered.

"What is it you're talking about?" I asked.

Paul sighed. "He says he can do magic but he's out of his mind, his magic tricks are horrible and he wanted to perform in front of others pn my brother's bar, you see, he has a talent night but it'd just break him, the people who go there aren't exactly the friendliest." He whispered. It was weird hearing Paul worry about Lenny's wellbeing, not that I believed Paul was evil just that I figured they were only work friends but they've must have developed a strong relationship if Paul worried about his friend's confidence that much, I recalled Saro saying that Paul and Lenny had been here from the beginning of the BSAA.

"Your brother has a bar?"

"Yeah, just around the corner from here actually, sometimes I help him running it."

Paul noticed Lenny had stopped talking to Nawra, instead Lenny leaned towards us and Paul turned back to me, quickly changing the subject.

"So Saro tells me you're from the States?"

* * *

 **Any thoughts on this chapter? Please tell me! :D**


	7. Secret, Anger, Encounter, Doubt

I had noticed that the majority of people who worked at the BSAA weren't from the UK, Saro himself had stated he was from Germany. Paul and Lenny were some of the few who actually came from the UK and Nawra had reveled she was from Jordan.

When I asked Saro about it, he simply stated that the reason why the BSAA hired so many people from diverse nationalities was merely because the expansion they were hoping to achieve, which was to have more people from all over the world involved in their work particularly due to the increase of bio-terrorism. One of the top BSAA:s chiefs presumed the universality would bring a better ambience amongst workers because we'd see a lot of people from different parts of the world working together. Not to mention that it helped when a new place was attacked and so if the place was quite unknown someone working in the BSAA that came from that part of the world could advice the agents.

If it hadn't been for Claire I'd still walk around wondering where the agents reported to the SOA:s, the actual headquarters concerning the people who worked against the outbreaks were located outside of London. Although she couldn't tell me where that place was located since she "had no idea" despite her brother being Chris. The only ones who knew of the location were the SOU:s and SOA:s. I also owed Claire another thanks for reveling I could apply for a new position, one I really wanted. Immediately after lunch that Tuesday I headed to Mr. Bailey who had to report my application to his boss but then I had to fill in another application, they also required me to take a physical and mental test. Surprisingly I had passed both of them but I was still being tried for if I was fitted all the measures of becoming a solider within the BSAA. To my disappointment when I had told Greg and Frank this they reacted like their mother.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" asked Greg on a Thursday evening, I'd been invited to dine with them.

"I mean, shouldn't you wait? You're too young," had Frank added.

"Yeah, I'm completely sure!" I said, both of them exchanging looks of worry.

I trusted they wouldn't tell grandma the news just yet, it'd be better if I brought the news to her therefore later the same evening I phoned home not caring if it was too late.

"You can't!" Grandma shouted instantly after I told her everything. "I won't allow it."

"Then why did you let me move all the way here? You knew what the BSAA functioned as-"

She interrupted me: "Yes, that's why I let you move!"

"What?"

I heard her sighing, as if she wasn't sure what to say.

"I knew you were going to have that job, I-" She stopped talking.

"What do you mean?" I asked, louder this time.

"I knew Mr. Bailey from a long time ago…I asked if he could give you a safe job, you were actually supposed to work as an SOA from the start and I'd let you move because I knew the military were eventually going to place you somewhere abroad and I… couldn't allow it."

I was so packed with anger and despise that I ended the call and threw my phone on the bed making it almost fall down. How could she? All these times I thought she ought to be the one standing behind my decisions, she never probably interfered this much when her own sons moved away and it didn't matter that she took care of me she still wasn't my mother. The phone stayed silent, grandma must have understood it'd be hopeless to phone me back to explain her choice. Feeling too upset I decided to stay up, a decision I regretted the next morning.

* * *

The third week were near to its end to my joy since I had planned on doing nothing this weekend. I had already overworked myself last weekend for the physical test I had to do as I feared I'd fail it.

I kept longing for the day to end on Friday, watching the clock each other minute but it felt as if time was mocking me and continued to stay unmoved. I was on a bad mood the whole day until Paul and Lenny asked if I wanted to join them for pie in the canteen. Hoping that the two jokesters would make feel better again I accepted and met them in the worker's lounge after I'd collected the intern's work schudele. I took some tea and a piece of the blueberry-pie that smelled delicious and sat next to them. Lenny appeared to be trying to perform a card trick, he mixed the deck, let his hand hover over the cards then picked one card to question Paul: "Was this your card?"

Paul grinned. "Not even close."

"Fuck," muttered Lenny. "All right, we'll try again."

But Paul shocked his head. "I think I need more pie…" he said and got up.

I ate a piece of the pie, verifying it tasted as delicious as it smelled. "I don't want to be rude but…I dunno…it feels like, its kinda odd that you want to perform-" I began but was interrupted by Lenny.

This time Lenny grinned as he shuffled the cards. "I know but its because…" He stopped mid-sentence and glanced over at Paul who was standing in line. "Its because his sister works there too and I overheard her saying she thought magicians were, you know,..cool."

I strained myself a lot not to laugh, if these words were coming from a woman she had to be either joking or under the age of twelve.

"Why don't you just talk to her, then? I mean are you sure doing magic tricks will impress her?"

Lenny shook his head: "You don't know how I play my game."

"Game?" I asked, grimacing. This honestly was the weirdest conversation I've encountered and it felt as if I was dealing with two teenagers taken straight out of a bad TV-show.

But Lenny didn't answer as Paul had just seated himself next to me and Nawra had arrived as well with her bag.

"Where's Saro?" She asked.

"He's got a date," said Paul and took a bite of his pie. "It's so fucking delicious." He murmured under his breath.

Everyone snickered, as Paul looked up from his plate confused.

"Are you going to propose to the pie, eh?" asked Lenny.

"No, it's more likely I'll ask Miss. Davis to marry me," Paul said referring to the lunch lady.

Nawra had brought her laptop and apparently she was laughing at something else than Paul.

"Hey guys, I found a blog that post awkward things that's happened to people, seriously, you have to read this story." She angled the computer screen towards us so we could see the text. It read:

 _Okay, so listen, this is probably the most horrible thing that can happen to a person, I know I'm exaggerating but just fucking continue reading and you'll understand. When I was in high school I had this crush or obsession with a guy…let's call him Mark. So it wasn't until the last year I got the chance to go to one of his famous parties. Before I went to the party I had eaten a lot of candy and let me tell you this…when I eat too much candy I need the toiler ASP. This I didn't think about since this was finally one of those rare times when he didn't have a girlfriend so I thought why not try my luck at the party. It took half an hour before I saw Mark at the party, I rushed over to him and started to dance next to him, surprisingly he seemed interested but what I didn't think of was that my digestion insisted I needed to empty the content in my intestines. I tried to leave but he refused and wanted to dance more with me, I stayed for as long I could but eventually I had to leave him so when he turned the other side to greet a friend, I ran upstairs to find a toilet. The toilet was already occupied by a drunk couple who were making out, I tried to ask them to leave but as the girl turned away and puked right into the toilet I realized had to find another toilet, to my disappointment all the other ones were occupied, as I was getting closer and closer to shitting myself I decided to just let it go so I found a closet in the master bedroom where there were just boxes, thinking it wouldn't spoil any clothes, I…well you know what I did and oh my god I stayed there for ten minutes. It wasn't afterwards when I realized what a moron I was and I regretted it so badly I decided to leave the party. I ran downstairs and tried to get through the crow. To my unfortunate, Mark had been looking for me upstairs and entered the master bedroom, as I heard him scream. "WHO SHAT ON MY MOM'S GUCCI SHOES?" I tried to run away but apparently some of the…you know what had come on my shoes which someone noticed and screamed, "SHE DID IT, hoping no one would know who I was I opened the door and ran. Luckily no followed me and even more fortunate no one knew who I was but at school people kept talking about the mysterious poop girl._

 _Submitted by the partypooper_

As I read the last line I let out a huge laugh, forgetting I just taken a sip from my cup of tea I tried stopping the drink from flying out through my nostrils by breathing in, which only made the others laugh even more. Our laughter echoed in the almost empty canteen and the others who sat there watched us, but we kept chuckling as maniacs until a voice said: "Errr, is this a wrong time?"

I looked up and was horrified to recognize Chris Redfield whose picture I'd seen in the entrance hall, he was looking down at me. His appearance was even more impressive in real life. The veins in his arms vividly showing and he looked bigger than I'd imagine him to be. The tight shirt he was wearing emphasized his large and toned torso and through the shirt the lines of his stomach reveled a six-pack.

Lenny let out a weird whimper and Nawra nudged my foot under the table and I looked at her as she gestured I had something on my face. Somehow I'd managed to get cream on my mouth too. I quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped it off.

"Are you Sylvia Jones?" he asked still looking at me probably stunned at what he had witnessed. Of course, how classical, that I would always find myself in an awkward situation like this, just my luck.

"Uh, yes, that would be me." I answered. He threw a yellow-coloured folder on the table.

"Congratulations, you've almost completed the steps to becoming a fully trained special operation agent. Your tests were more than approved; you received one of the best marks ever. I want to ready to be picked up on Monday at 5.30 am, you're going away for a month so I'd suggest you'd go home and pack." He said, and then looked at the others.

"Have a good weekend." Chris then left the room leaving me appalled whilst everyone else stared at me.

* * *

A cold breeze swept by as I stepped outside, dragging a large traveling-bag to await for a van to arrive. The weather seemed to have switched from the rare sunny, cloudless weather in January to a dull and grey one. My mood had changed as well from being light-hearted about finally having adapted to environment I'd expected to be in for at least some months but now I was presented in the face of a grueling change I dreaded all too much. It was early and unluckily I lacked energy because of yesterday's sleepless night, my mind kept repeating the words _Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it_.

How stupid was I? Why didn't I listen to grandma about working as a solider for the BSAA? Of course being in the military was scary as well but as the increase of bio-attacks many people had started to apply to the military so it wasn't necessary to send newbies out on dangerous request so I never worried about that but the BSAA...they sent everyone out to fight. If even the simple thought of training to become a SOA scared me the sanity out of me, how the hell would I survive being out there, facing BOW:s?

I looked around to see if the van I was expecting had arrived but only a few cars and taxi's had passed by despite the street being a heavily-trafficked one. My wristwatch showed it was 5.15 AM. Last night had been horrible, I had succeed in picking up the courage to phone back home and explain I was going away for a month to train. There was a silence for a long while after I spitted out the words for grandma, I was too afraid to break the silence and expected her to scold me as well as force me to quit but eventually she said in a defeated voice it didn't matter anymore. Greg and Frank were also unlike their usual selves, they had screamed madly at me and Greg yelled he'd refuse to aid me any longer unless I quit but Frank said Greg was too upset and didn't truly mean it. I was jolted and horrified, my limbs had become softer and lighter than air, tears ran down my cheeks despite my efforts to stop them. My uncles had seemed to be so helpful and loving but now they weren't what I needed them to be, they were neither supporting nor joyful for my sake. I tried to defend myself but it felt like there had been a large stone in my throat, I felt as a disobedient and ungrateful child during the whole scolding.

But I chose to take on the mission anyway, even if the whole situation was depressing for me though I made that choice also because I feared what Chris would say if I told him I didn't want to be an SOA any longer and what would Saro and the others think of me? I barely knew these people but I couldn't back down, I despised the idea of me explaining that my grandmother and my uncles refused to let me make my own decision.

The time was now 5.27 and I looked around again but not a single car drove by. It wasn't until 5.35 I heard the engine of a large motorcar and saw a minibus with the BSAA:s logo on it, it stopped in front of me and someone stepped out of the car. It was Chris.

"Good morning." I said in an almost too joyful tone. He simply glared at me like he had done from our first encounter.

"I can take your bag, you can go and sit," muttered Chris and grabbed my bag. I seated myself in the car still a little to stunned at his rude behavior however I blamed it on the fact he probably got out of bed on the wrong side. Afterwards Chris drove off to the next person, at first I was confused to why he had stopped the car outside a villa in a suburb then realized I mustn't have been the only who applied though I was unsure if all the applicants were being tried or we had just become SOA:s. I expected Chris would not answer me and only gloat again so I kept the questions to myself and hoped they'd somehow be replied. Again Chris climbed out of the car and told the person who was waiting outside the same thing. The person who was going to join me appeared to be in his thirties at least, had brown hair and when he seated himself in the car he looked at me and smiled.

"Hey, I'm Dan." He said and put out his hand. I shook it and told him my name but after that both of us turned the other way, being too shy and too tired to continue on with the conversation.

There were three more stops where the exact same thing happened, all of the people who were picked up were men. Two of them already knew each other to the other's horror. There was Damian, a quiet and dark-haired boy, and the two who knew each other Charlie and Matt who seemed to be alert and talkative. Chris drove a long way after he'd stopped to pick up Damian and he had remained quiet the whole time. I entertained myself by looking at the landscape - the brown fields with haystacks for the animals. No farmer had let their animals out preferably because of the bitten and cold weather, the clouds had grown thicker and greyer. I almost nodded into sleep, trying to blink and straighten my back each time my head fell down. It had to be half an hour before another person was picked up and it was yet again a guy. He introduced himself as Kevin and sat next to Damian and began chatting, now I was the only one without a conversation partner, Dan had fallen asleep to which Chris disapproved of, throwing Dan irritated looks. Two more people were picked up and this time it was brothers, Tim and Simon, they said. Unfortunately they had to sit in the back and Chris announced we were finally ready to head to our camp so I'd really have no to talk to during the drive. I felt unsafe when I acknowledged I was going to train alone with guys, I'd expected at least one girl or a female instructor but no. Now I could imagine what grandma would say... _I told you so, it wouldn't fit you and it's not appropriate_. I just wanted to throw myself out the door, my guts were telling me it is going to be horrible and I sensed the cold sweat running down my back. The weather was a perfect representative of how I felt and I just hoped that it wouldn't start raining.

The time to reach the location was too long, nevertheless we arrived, everyone looking extremely grim and down from being up so early. Chris had driven the minibus to a very remote place, the car was parked in front of what seemed to be an old military base, I recognized the old faciciltes, the shooting range and further down a outdoor obstacle course was sighted. But the place also had a varied environment a forest surrounding us to the left and on the other side was a vast landscape. Five more people stood outside the white building, two of them were women and the other men. Chris got out of the car. I followed after him and when everyone was out and Chris had taken out everyone's luggage one of the women, the red-haired one began talking.

"Welcome," she said. "You are all here to begin your training to become ready special operation agents. It will be a grumeose test to see how you cope mentally and physically with challenges every SOA must go through. I'm Marie and the other four who will be aiding me in training you are Jane, Samir, Patrick and Rama. All five of us have stood where you were and have operated many times as SOA:s but now we've stepped down to train and teach you. I want to warn you that is is going to be extremely difficult, many times you'll find yourself wanting to give up, to leave and go back to living a normal life and if by any chance you feel this way I want you to tell us so we know because we will never accept someone who won't take this seriously." The others behind her nodded along as she spoke, each of them with grave expression on their faces. "After this month you will work for the BSAA, you will be called in whenever there's an attack and everyone in the BSAA will be like your family." I almost let out a snort but covered it as a cough when they all turned to look at me. She was exaggerating a little too much, I felt, I'd probably never see anyone here as my family. I hardly felt that attached to my real family right now.

"Anyway," she continued, "As I'm skilled in medical subjects I will teach you how to deal with injuries and determine the severity of them. I've worked as a nurse for long while before I became an SOA so if anyone of you are hurt I'm the one you'll need." She stopped and shoot a mean stare to the brothers who were whispering, they went quiet and the displeased Marie faced us again. "Now next to me is Jane," Marie said and waved her hand at the blonde, short woman with glasses. "She is an expert in technological matters and will teach you how to use the things you will carry with you on missions and how to use communication devices if you should ever be in that position." Then Marie stood next to the dark-haired guys. "These two boys, Samir and Rama," she said particularly because they looked the youngest of their group, "are the most clever boys you'll ever meet but their job is to guide you through how to operate when facing challenges you weren't expecting. And, Patrick here is a weapon specialist and he doesn't only understand the art of dealing with different types of guns all from handguns to heavy fire guns but also knives, grenades and so on." After explaining what Patrick taught, the tall and slink man who looked as if he'd drop to the floor if ever he tried picking up a shotgun, Marie walked around us to stand next to Chris who during this time had watched us from behind.

"Chris, who kindly took the job of driving you here although Sam, our usual driver was sick today, is going to train you. I think you'll already understand what kind of impact he'll have on your training," she said, smirking and looking at Chris's muscular arms. Chris remained where he was, both of his arms crossed but still giving away an intimidating feeling. "So, the clock is nearly one and I believe you must all be very hungry, if you walk inside," said Marie and pointed at the port to the bedraggled building and what I assumed would be my home for this month, "you'll find a large dining area where the food is ready for you." We started to march towards the doorway with the instructors following us.

After the most boring lunch I encountered (whoever made our food was probably not the ones who cooked for the BSAA:workers in London) Marie said we'd be guided around the place. She showed us where we would sleep, it was down a short corridor where two doors faced each other, one functioned as a bedroom for the guys and the other for the girls. Then we passed through the place where we ate which was an open room with windows around the whole room and tables where people could sit, we went to another corridor where there were instead of two doors several ones. I realized the building was shaped as a U and questioned if this really had once been a military base. One door led to the bathrooms and showers, one room that had been made into a classroom with a blackboard and benches, another room was a kitchen though it was quite small and narrow with only counters and ovens that fitted in the room and, down the hall was where the instructors slept. The whole place felt creepy with it's somewhat molded corners and light colors.

"What about that door?" asked Matt when we returned to the middle room, pointing at a door that we hadn't passed through.

"Oh, that's just the basement, nothing you have to worry about." Marie answered. "So, if you see those two windows at other end of this room you'd noticed there's handles on them. They open to the back where you'll see a lake, I suppose this building covered it so you couldn't see it but now you know. So, I think you should go and unpack now. I want you back here in an hour." She said, shooing us away with her hands.

Everyone took their bags that had been brought in earlier and headed off the rooms, with me being the last one in line. Before the door to the guys' room was closed I saw beds shoved to the wall. I entered what would be my own room and saw it was furnished the same way as the guy's. There was a little window that let in daylight and I picked the bed the furthest from the door and sat on it, it was uncomfortably hard and the green sheets was made of knitted material that made one itch. I didn't understand by what Marie meant by unpacking as there were no wardrobes. I looked around to see if I'd missed anything, I even checked under the bed if there were boxes hidden until I noticed the black boxes that was at the end of the beds could be opened, I had thought they were weirdly shaped tables. We had been given clothes I saw as I opened the black box. There were a t-shirt, pants with several pockets, one raincoat, one winter coat and a pair of boots where a small pocked had been made in the right shoe, everything except the boots that were black, was in the same color green. I unpacked all the thins I'd brought with me: workout clothes, two extra pair of shoes, underwear, sanitary protection, hygiene articles, some books for entertainment and a charger for my phone. I was almost finished until someone knocked on the door.

"Come in," I said. In the doorway stood Damian. "We're supposed to put on the clothes in the black box." He muttered and shut the door behind him.

* * *

"As I mentioned earlier," said Marie, "this isn't going to be easy on you so if anyone of you already realized you don't want to do this anymore tell me now." She waited to see if someone said anything but no one stepped forward so she carried on. "All right, I think I'll hand you over to Chris now." On those words she left and Chris cleared his throat.

"Behind me I've put eight backpacks, I want you to grab one and meet me outside." All of us rushed to take one and went outside, it had started to rain, some hadn't brought their raincoats but Chris said nothing about us going back for them, instead he put on a backpack.

"Uh, Chris, is it okay if we run back for our raincoats?" asked Dan. Chris nodded annoyed, the two brothers and Dan went inside and returned in barely a minute.

"We're going to complete a mile with our backpacks on, I want you to keep up with my pace and if you should need water you'll find a filled bottle in the side pockets of your bag. Understood?" We nodded expect for Tim who had raised his hand.

"Is it the metric system you're referring to or the American-" began Tim after Chris gave him a look of approval but was quickly disrupted by him.

"The metric system," he said firmly. "And no more stupid questions, just follow me." Tim turned exceptionally red and his brother gave him a symptical pat on his shoulder. Chris jogged and the rest followed him. Every time Chris had opened his mouth to talk I simply disliked him more and more, of course Tim should have expected Chris to answer back in the way he did as it wasn't unnoticeable to see his cold nature from the beginning. During lunch Chris had hardly spoken to anyone then departed to his room. I felt that this wasn't how Chris normally acted, like he was pretending. My thoughts dwelled around Chris and though I tried to take him off my mind, his face reappeared in my mind. He was just so...intriguing.

I was struggling to keep up with his pace and surely after what must have been ten minutes many of us slowed down a little. The backpack weighed heavily on me and my legs were already aching, the worst was the panted breaths I gave and whenever I attempted to calm my breathing I gave out rattling noise. Chris most have noticed we were slowing down and shouted that we had to hurry up so I forced my legs to jog faster though they were screaming for me to stop. It went on like this for a while, Chris screaming and the rest trying to catch up with him but eventually he gave up and carried on with his normal pace. Damian was first in the lead with the two brothers behind him, Dan was jogging before me and I was trying to to stay ahead of Matt, Charlie and Kevin as I didn't want to be the last one. Before the forest was a hill that made it incredibly difficult to run. But when we ran down it and into the forest it got tricker to run since I had to avoid tripping over something, my eyes switched between focusing on the ground to avoid stubs, branches and back to the trees that forced the path to become become narrower and narrower as we ran deeper into the forest.

I lost track of where Chris went but managed to focus on a moving dot in front of me that was either one of the brothers or Damian, I had now outrun Matt, Charlie, Kevin and Dan. It took a long time before we'd left the forest and I found myself at what seemed to be the start of the hill, we had apparently circled around the hill and through the forest. I drew a deeper breath and the sounds of birds twittering and the cracking of the branches I'd stepped on disappeared. The rain had carried on and since we were protected from it while running through the forest because of the trees I was dry but now there wasn't anything that shielded the rain from me so I got wet. On top of the burning feeling I had in the legs I was also freezing now. After I climbed up the hill or rather walked I took on a faster pace as I noticed that four dots were waiting near the white building. To impress the others I tried run faster despite I had planned on walking the last part. The two brothers were lying on the ground, their bellies going up and down very fast. Damian looked even more tired but Chris seemed calm though he was a little red he didn't have the gasping breathing as the rest of us.

"Are the others far behind?" Chris asked. I shook my head too tired to speak. We didn't have to wait long until the rest appeared on top of the hill and had reached us.

"Good job," muttered Chris after everyone had finished the run. "You can go and shower now." Relived, we went back inside. I felt someone patting me on the back, expecting it to be Chris but saw Charlie smiling.

"You were really fast, Sylvia, great work." He said and walked ahead of me with Matt next to him. It was odd. Why had he complimented me and not the others? I ignored it and headed to grab my things and shower.

After a wonderful and warm shower, my normal breathing returned and when I passed through the large hall I saw that some had already started eating, hungry I rushed to the bedroom and left my things to eat. When everyone else had arrived and were finished with their meals Marie stood up.

"So, a little too easy day for you today but tomorrow probably will be more difficult. Well, that was all, good night." But before she could leave Charlie asked when we had to wake up tomorrow.

"Oh, you don't have to set an alarm we'll wake you when we do." Gloomy, Matt looked down at his plate preferably concerned at what Marie had meant then turned his gaze at me, his eyes sent a shiver down my spine and I quickly murmured good night and went back to my room.

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 **Please comment, ask as it only makes me want to write more...:)**


	8. Unforeseen Help

**Soooo...a new chapter after some long waiting...I'm sooooo sorry I didn't update yesterday but I had procrastinated A LOT up until yesterday. The rewritten chapters are up and I think the only chapter there's some new stuff is the second one. I've also put together some chapters so there are fewer ones but I haven't deleted any chapters. Well, that's all, enjoy! :D**

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"So Sylvia, eh? I hadn't gotten the pleasure of getting to know you," said Kevin, placing his tray of oatmeal next to mine.

"No, not really." I said while my eyes rested on Chris and Marie whom spoked with each other in low voices.

Last night involved me lying restless in bed figuring out the puzzle that was Chris. My conclusion being that I should no longer ignore him as he constantly emerged in my mind, it would be less complicated to actually understand him by acquainting him rather than ratiocinate. Besides he was easy on the eyes, I thought and reveled a smirk that Kevin took note of.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Kevin had asked, stopping his overfilled spoon mid-air.

"Just thought of a joke." I muttered, he was starting to annoy me, I hadn't come all this way to befriend people. It was cold of me to think so but this attitude helped me thought military school and made me successful. The main reason I didn't have this approach for my previous, short-term job depended on the fact that I had almost lost track of where my career was steered, not to mention it was excruciatingly tedious to not join my old colleagues in their conversation.

"What joke?" asked Kevin. "I know a funny joke, wanna hear it?" he continued before I could respond.

"Sure...why not." I turned my gaze back to Kevin and stared into his brown eyes, Chris had left the table with Marie still in their conversation.

"So it's a knock knock joke but it's still hilarious."

I tried to focus on his joke but I kept wondering what Chris and Marie were discussing - why did they speak in low voices, because it was a secret? For once in my life I truly felt intrigued in something that was happening in reality. Riddles and mysterious had always been alluring to me yet I could only find them capturing me in my books or movies.

Charlie and Matt were the final two arriving at the table also in a whispering, suspicious conversation. They both gave me a bad feeling that had existed ever since meeting them in the van and even more so when Charlie gave me that odd compliment, being a good reader when it came to people I decided to keep away from as much as possible.

* * *

We were never given any schedule to follow for the simple reason that we would be called in when necessary but we still had some sort of schedule to go after, Marie explained. The day began with two hours in a course about first aid, all of us comprehend the instructions and information because this was something most children were taught though it was good to repeat the knowledge, Matt and Charlie found the whole thing ridiculous and earned themselves a scolding from Marie when she caught them playing with the CPR-dolls. I was surprised it din't earn them a warning that if they continued on like that they'd had to leave.

Next class was in communication and the equipment a SOA always carry in a mission, the blonde short woman named Jane was very clever and pedagogic when explaining how to put on the earpiece, fix the transceiver, and how to use the GPS device that according to Jane should fit in everyone's suit.

"These are the basic the three things you will carry on a usual mission-"

Kevin interrupted her. "Usual mission? What do you mean?"

Jane seemed delighted that some listened to what she was saying because from the look of our faces most of us looked bored.

"I mean if you're going to maybe a city somewhere, in certain places when the soldiers are facing a new type of BOW they would take a wristband that can examine the virus and be sent off to HQ for further analysis."

Kevin looked more alert on the word "wristband", him and I were the rest that showcased most attention to the rest of her walk-through. The brothers Tim and Simon together with me had brought notepads but they had given up on writing anything down and Tim seemed to be doddling instead of paying attention. It wasn't my idea to take notes but I thought of Sara who never needed a second explanation of things in class because of her note-taking. After Jane's class it was time for lunch, Rama and Samir were who ones who weren't present and to explain their absence from lunch the next time Dan, Kevin, Tim, Simon, Matt, Charlie, Damian and I walked back to the supposed classroom the two of them sat there, looking nerdy dorking with crayons in their hands.

"Hey guys, good lunch, eh?" said Rama, winking his eyes and joking about the cold potatoes and meat that lacked a lot of salt we were severed. A few of us grinned at his words then seated ourselves.

"Ah, one of you is smart enough to bring a notebook with them," grinned Rama. Both of the brother's cheeks turned red, presumably because they had forgotten their's at the lunch table which I had noticed but not bothered to tell me as it would be their responsibility to look after their things, but also because I was too shy, I hadn't said a word during the conversation at the table.

"Never mind, it's not that important right now." Samir continued. "As you all know..."

"Psst, can you give me a piece of paper and a pen?" Kevin asked, reaching out his hand. I ripped apart a paper, searched for a sharpened pencil in my pencil case, handing them to Kevin reluctantly, I didn't want to come off as a person to take advantage of.

"Yes, like Samir explained this, your job is going to be tough." Rama grinned again at his words, the word _tough_ was an mild explanation for our job. "Although it feels stupid to keep repeating that you ought to know this well...because the possibility of you dying out there is big." He said in a more serious tone. "This isn't your average office-job where the worst thing can happen is your boss discovering you've been playing on an online poker-site the whole time. Many I've known and Samir knew...have died right before our eyes. And I'm talking about this because I want you to ignore the whole tabu-crap about mental health and actually talk to a psychologist if you need to because it's gonna fuck with your mind, this job."

Samir captured the word after Rama had finished talking. "Every time you go out, facing whatever goddamn BOW you'll have the same feeling you had on your first mission, the same shitty gut feeling but-" he added, emphasizing the word "but", waiting a little to gaze around the classroom at our scared expressions. "Each time you'll get stronger, it'll be a little easier by each time to know what to do in dangerous situations."

"Now the BSAA isn't some sadictisc organization that just ships off soldiers that have no idea what they should do but there was a time when many SOA:s had to act on their instinct as this wasn't one of the courses SOA:s had to take before being sent away. That's also our first rule, follow your goddamn guts." Samir said, pointing at his belly. "You have to know if a situation is dangerous enough or not, this skill is even more important if any of you should become a captain because then you'll be in charge of your team."

Rama turned to the blackboard after Samir finished talking, having created an uncomfortable silence in the room. I wasn't the only one who looked anxious at their words, despite the fact that everyone is aware of what soldiers faced, the fact that your job could kill you wasn't infested in our minds just yet. To see others die, constantly being afraid...was this something I could cope with? I looked around the room and noticed the words had made the others expose a more visible reaction, Dan appeared even more pale than he was with a greenish tone to his skin, the brothers began their infuriating whispering and Charlie had his head hanging in a defeated way. I refused to let the fear stop me, I reasoned, if it was possible for me to come this far...I could make it, somehow. Besides the date of our deaths can arrive at any time but people still carried on living, trying not to think of that horrible fact.

"All right," said Samir. "Listen up. The three types of mass-desctuive weapons that's often spoken about are nuclear, chemical and bioorganic. The thing about two of them are that they can't be fought off with simply soldiers, does anyone know what I'm talking about?" Everyone raised their hands but Dan was given the word.

"Nuclear and chemical," he uttered weakly. Samir let his eyes remain on him before underlining two of the words written on the blackboard. "Correct. I mean if you have soldiers out, fighting somewhere you can easily send a bomb to get rid of them but if you have BOW:s it's different because now soldiers can be used. Not only that but it strikes a certain fear in people, being instantly killed by a nuclear weapon is fucking terrifying but it's more frighting if you threaten the world by turning everyone into mutated, half-dead slaves."

Rama took over after Samir. "Yeah, exactly, which is why I want you to..." I realized I had forgotten taking notes after their troubling talk about facing death and grabbed my pen to write down Rama's advice for how to deal with panic in a battlefield.

The next and last class was before dinner, we all went outside to the shooting range where Patrick stood with cases laid out in front of him.

"Hello, as Marie told you yesterday I'm Patrick." He said in a calm voice after everyone stood ready and waiting for him to begin. "Unlike Marie, I don't want to waste time in repeating things that should be second-nature to you, handling guns is something I presume and hope everyone can do." The group seemed eager to finally do something more action-like and active but I dreaded it would be something difficult as the targets were positioned very far away from where we were standing.

"Before me," said Patrick, "are bolt-action rifles, simple ones that is going to be used for today's practice." He picked up one himself and then nodded to show we should do the same.

"Since I don't want things to be too difficult things, I've taken inspiraiton from my collugue Jane's pedagogic ways and give you simplest rifle for today's class and I might as well repeat how the correct way is to hold a rifle."

He explanied the first exercise was going to be executed standing up, there were eight targets for all of us. After having correcting several of us we took position and at the count of three we had fire. Sweating, I pulled the trigger and the rifle bounced back at my shoulder, creating pain in the region.

"You have to have correct aligment." Patrick told me, showing the rifle had to be parallell with me chin. The wepaonist continued correcting several of us and then counted to three again. This continued on for a while. The next step was to change position into a crouching one. It was even harder for me and I missed the target with all the fifteen shoots we took. At last was the lying down position where once more Patrick showed us the right way to lay down, but this time he also fired the gun for pedagogic reasons as he'd mentioned. Patrick hit the target right in the middle then got up, told us to get into position and lastly counted to three.

I missed all too many times and when the class ended everyone had at least gotten one shoot in the middle. Patrick ordered us to pack up and head for dinner.

"Sylvia, wait a little." He shouted and I heard Charlie and Matt giggle. Angry I strouted back to Patrick who seemed calm.

"I feel you can use a little practice, don't you agree?"

I nodded, ashmed of being the worst.

"It's all right if you practice tonight, I'll inform the others that you'll stay outside after the workout-round with Chris."

What workout? Wouldn't they let us rest after a whole day of information and practice? It turned out Patrick was right, we had a workout with Chris and it was crucially demanding, the dinner didn't help at all as it was boring with rice and some weird fish no one seemed to have the appetite for it. For the sake of no one having to throw up we were allowed to rest for an hour, it had to be nine in the evening when Chris shouted for us to get up. Moaning and complaining, many of us took enough time to change and show up behind the facility near the lake. Chris had his arms crossed and seemed upset but ready to force us go through another of his unpleasant workout. Rama and Samir shook their heads when Damian told them we had Chris that trained us.

"He's rough so it's gonna be tough but still you're lucky cause he's the best there is." Samir said.

The evening had a chilly breeze and the clouds that were barely visible from the dark looked even more heavier so I had worn my mittens and beanie and I wasn't the only one who thought of the weather, Charlie and Matt also wore beanies.

"You're late," said Chris when Tim and Simon had sprinted to us, barely catching their breaths before Chris had spoken.

"Sorry, sir, it's just-" began Tim but was disrupted by Chris.

"I don't just mean you," said Chris yet giving the brothers a rather mean look. "I'm talking to the whole group, next time I don't want to see anyone taking too long to get up, you got it?"

Everyone nodded.

"All right, follow me." He started to run and Charlie hurried to run next to him, I was just behind them so I heard Charlie talking to him.

"Sir, I was wondering...what exactly will we do after we're finished with our...," it took a while before he found the right word. "..education?"

Chris ridged the corners of his mouth. "You'll see," he answered then added, "if you make it." Charlie raised his eyebrows at the answer but it didn't bother Chris as he screamed for us to keep up the pace. I grinned, thinking Charlie deserved the answer but after some time of running I started to get agitated with Chris when I realized he was going to make us run around the lake.

Halfway into the run my mind was occupied with taking in the environment since the rest of my body was fighting to keep running, after a while I spotted the military base area between the tress I had to stop to catch my breath. Damian passed by me without looking at me, I had forgotten to bring my water bottle and noticed he had his with him.

"Hey, I'm really thirsty, if it's okay can I have a sip?" I asked despite the fact that my shyness wanted me to shut up. I was running beside Damian but he simply ignored me, outrunning me. Shocked, I stopped and muttered to myself. I had to walk for a bit then carried on, my mind was now on Damian, what the hell was his problem? Why did he come here if he didn't talk to anyone, sure I was quiet too but I avoided coming off as rude. Would he really behave this way if we were on a mission?

"Jackass." I muttered and started to increase my pace. Chris, the brothers, Kevin and that idiot Damian were the first ones to arrive and one by one the others followed.

"Good, we're all here," said Chris and the rest of us murmured a "yes". How the fuck could he not look tired? Especially with his large and muscular body, running should be straining for him.

"I want you to give me a hundred push-ups, then the same amount of sit-ups." Chris said, surprisingly he also went down on his knees and a few of us copied him. Chris glared at the ones who remained standing.

"I guess you don't know how to do a push-up? Even Sylvia knows how to." Chris said and I grimaced at his words, why did have to make that stupid comment, it was hard enough being the only girl, attention was the last thing I required.

Matt, Charlie and Dan got down and started to do push-ups like the rest of us. After some minutes when everyone finished and fortunately I still had energy to keep up the pace and wasn't the one who finished last.

"I want a hundred squats and a hundred lunges." Chris said and some of us moaned loudly, me being one of them.

"Don't give that fucking attitude," shouted Chris. "You're going to become fucking soldiers and I want you behave like ones! For fuck's sake if you're complaining about some squats how the fuck are you going to survive fighting BOW:s?" His eyes were wide open, sending off sparks and his mouth in one tight line. Everyone quickly started to do as he requested us and for the rest of the workout we carried on in silence and after a round of burpees Chris allowed us to hit the showers.

* * *

Relived of finally getting sleep soon, I stood for what felt like hours in the shower before I forced myself to leave the hot shower but then I remembered Patrick had asked me to practice on using the rifles.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." I murmured for myself, rushing to put on my clothes instead of pajama. Patrick was sitting in the white large room with one of the cases on the table, he looked up from the book he was reading as he heard my footsteps.

"You're a little late." He pointed out. "You can take that one, there's lights on outside for about two hours but then you should get some sleep."

I uttered a "thanks", took the case and went outside. The shooting range was lit up by lights from the ground and from the red, white and circular targets kindled the lights underneath. I promised myself I had to practice for at least thirty minutes but just after ten minutes I felt it was necessary to stay longer than half an hour. My eyes began to tear up, I felt miserable, stupid and scared. Why did I do this? I gave out quiet sobs that were blended in with the noise from the quiet rifle each time I shoot, Patrick had put on the suppressor so none would be awaken from the shooting. Eventually I threw the rifle away from me, sat down and covered my face with my hands. I had used at least fifty bullets but kept missing the middle, sometimes even missing the entire target. A sound of someone stepping on a branch scared me and I swiftly got up on my feet.

"Still practicing, huh?" The person asked and stepped forward in the light, it was Chris.

"Mhm," I hummed, picking up the rifle and got in position. I shoot again, completely missing the target. Embarrassed I turned to Chris and stared at him.

"Am I bothering?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, I thought I might help you." He came up to me, put forward his hand for me to hand him the rifle.

"Ok." I said shyly, shivering from the cold night and the thought of being out here with him in the dark night. Why had he come to help me, I thought he wasn't the helpful type and I felt a little angry for not fully being understanding him and him destroying the personality-category I had decided to place him in.

"Look at what I'm doing," he said softly, "you've got to make sure the end of the rifle is pressed near your shoulder, look carefully at the target, take your time to aim right but remember that once you've pulled the trigger the rifle is going to move so it's best that you aim a little under the middle, you know what I mean?" He handed me the rifle.

"Go on."

I got in the same position as he had, then turned to him if anything was wrong but he nodded expressionless. I aimed the way Chris told me and when I've shoot, I had managed to hit the circle before to the middle, that was the closest I had gotten to the middle.

"Well done," said Chris, smiling. It was the first time I saw his smile, it felt special as if he rarely smiled and this was one of the rare occasions he did. The corners of his mouth reaching his glittering eyes, the expression made him look younger and I glared a little too long at him but the smile quickly disappeared when he caught me staring.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing."

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 **Any thoughts on this chapter? Don't be afraid to let me know, reviews only make wanna write more! :)**


	9. Enemy

**Guys - please, please, PLEASE, review if you can because honestly this story is for YOU and if you like it I want to know, if you don't like I want to know, if you have questions ASK :) Seriously, every single opinion you have matters! So please review if you can, also a shoutout to Otori Kaede for your reviews, they're much appreciated!**

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The ensuing morning Chris avoided any eye contact with me, not once did he even shoot a glance at me and had seated himself as far away from me. I knew it was all intentional and I could understand his reason because our encounter did feel kind of personal, specially considering how remote he acted in front of others. However for a reason he had dwelled outside in the starry night with me until we headed back inside and the last thing we said to each other was good night, there wasn't any other words spoken than those two after the awkward conversation concerning Chris's smile. The evasive reaction from him conceivably formed a stronger curiosity within me, I caressed a hope that he would sooner or later stop eluding me.

After another worthwhile lesson with Jane I had to rush to get to the bathroom prior to the next class would begin, somehow I bumped into Chris on the way. I uttered a "sorry", waiting for a response I knew I wouldn't earn and as expected he strolled right past me. No wonder I rarely developed a crush on any man, men are jerks as Kathleen had grieved determinedly and rightfully so, her boyfriend had broken up with her out of nowhere because he desired to focus on his football but a week later we discovered the asshole of a boyfriend placing his arm over the shoulder on another girl, I remember vividly. There had been boys in high school we frequently discussed but only Kathleen took it a step further than just glaring at a crush, but today I'm embarrassed by ever having had a crush on some of the boys from my high school. They were all good-looking but lacking in either personality or wit or both. I wondered what Kathleen would say if she saw me here, surrounded by men who were in good shape and, somewhat handsome but out of all the boys she would preferably go for Tim or Simon as they were more on the handsome prince-looking side. Charlie had the nicest features yet it was disregard by me because of his behavior towards me, I noticed that during the whole day he had eyed me with a vicious look and it could perhaps be that the rumor had already been spread that Chris and I had been out during the night.

The most interesting thing that happened other than the gossip was our first lesson in unarmed combat, everyone had gathered in the white room where the tables had been pushed to the wall and in the middle laid a circular soft mat for what I assumed would be were the fight were going to occur. Marie, Rama, Samir, Jane, Patrick and Chris stood waiting for us as we were forced to run four laps around the house for a warm-up and this time no one dared acting quirky to Chris. Those four laps were the easiest physical challenged we'd encountered but I reckoned it was simply a rare case.

"Wonderful, you've all finished." Marie said when Dan clocked in lastly, for some reason he stopped being first one to finish and the grey skin-tone he had gathered from our first class with Rama and Samir stayed on him. Well, it didn't really bother me as I was now the third-best.

"So this evening you won't have another fun time with Chris," said Marie and a lot of us made faces whilst Chris's expression was his usual negligent one. "Instead we decided it was time to see how you do in fighting and we're going to have Rama and Samir go through judo and karate, Jane who is an expert in boxing and thaiboxing will help you in that. Those are the fighting styles we'll have time today for."

Tim raised his hand, Marie nodded approvingly. "Uh, we're not really gonna fight BOW:s using the..ahhh..fighting styles you've mentioned so why do we have to-" Tim said but Chris spoke over him to our surprise.

"I'll answer that, Marie. You see, the only threat you are going to face isn't BOW but the people who created them, the ones who do this don't usually instead inject themselves with a virus so while you'll have your guns to carry with you, there is always the possibility that you won't have the safety of carrying around a gun all the goddamn time. We don't want to have idiots who only know how to shoot but to fight as well." Chris remarked while his gaze balanced between everyone's eyes expect mine.

Tim looked rather taken aback and his mouth was in a tight line, his brother patting him on the back.

"Thank you, Chris, for that answer." Marie said as if the response hadn't been crude and vainglorious. "Very well, Rama and Samir?" She asked, signaling for them to thread forward. They were dressed in white, thick robes with cloths of belt tied just above their hips and both were barefooted.

"So..all right, first of all we'll divide you into pairs, Rama, you can do that while I hand out the uniforms."

Rama walked first up to me and paired me with Kevin who somehow had appeared just in time to be sorted with me, then Charlie got teamed up with Matt, the brothers together and lastly Dan was with Damian. Samir handed all of us the same type of belt he wore and a type of thick jacket that we wore on top of workout-clothes. Rama began to explain that the outfit we had on us was called judogi in traditional Japanese and Samir informed us that judo was created during the late 19th century for the purpose of physical, mental and moral teaching practice to later on evolve into a martial art.

"The most common thing about judo is that it's normally viewed as a defensive martial art and now you've been divided into pairs because you're going to try out the different types of element of fighting used in judo. Firstly I want you to take off your shoes before warming up." Rama said whilst everyone unlaced their shoes. "You can begin by picking up your partner on your back and run to the end of the room then back."

Kevin grabbed me, swayed me over his shoulder and started to jog without any warning. I was quite surprised by his immense strength, though I hoped he didn't weight a lot since my upper body was the bodypart that lacked most strength. Kevin was the first one to return and the others looked annoyed that he had me as a partner since I was a light partner compared to the rest.

"I can help you," murmured Kevin when he had put me down.

"Eh, no thanks," I said, bending down to grab one of his legs, seizing his arm to heave him over me and stood up. This was one of few times I was glad over my height, Kevin was average height but if I'd been shorter it'd be more difficult to carry him. After a challenging jog to the other end of the room I was the last to arrive to which Charlie delighted grinned at. Rama and Samir ignored it and showcased another exercise where one had to carry the legs of their partner whilst the carried person had to walk with their arms in plank. This went easier than the last exercise, Kevin and I were the first to complete the exercise both times. We had four more moves that incorporated either one of us having to be coped up then Rama claimed it was enough.

"Ok, let's begin with the basic moves in judo." Samir remarked. "All line up in a row. Okay, good, so this is how I want you to stand. Tighten your core muscles, well you're always supposed to suck in your belly for good posture. You're going to step on your right or left foot forward depending whether or not you're left- or right-handed, bend the knees a little, raise your toes too and bounce a little." He waited to see if everyone were standing correctly. "Simon, you step forward a little more and you too Damian. Ok, good, your feet are going to be shoulder width apart and the elbows have to come forward, away from the body. So raise your arms like this," said Samir, lifting his arms forward, bending them to create the form of a square. Everyone else copied him and I glanced over at the others, Damian clearly had his elbows too closely to his body which Samir marked, correcting him. "This is how you'll defend yourself," said Samir and waved both of his arms like wind wipers, "if someone is trying to grip you."

Some fifteen minutes after explaining positions and correcting errors, Rama and Samir decided it was time for us to try the basic moves.

"Choose a spot on the mat, make sure you're some meters away from the other pair." Shouted Rama when Charlie and Matt had placed themselves barely inches away from Damian and Dan. The practice went well, I thought, although Kevin was gentle on me and whenever he had to practice his throws, he tried to catch me during that split second I was heading down to the floor. Rama and Samir strolled around, correcting and complimenting us.

"You're quite good." Rama told me after I completed a hip throw and Kevin had went down with a loud thump. "But it is a shame you have such narrow-shoulders, it's not the best build to have if you're a judoka." My narrow-shoulders were the only thing grandma seemed to have liked from my appearance.

We managed to work through a few more moves and I enjoyed it very much, I felt a little mean to Kevin for being harsh on him whenever one of the instructor came to us, especially when it was Chris who viewed us, but it was merely because Kevin had to be so damn gentle.

"Ok, that's enough, let's start with karate!" Samir said and everyone formed a line again. The karate walk-through happened quickly, where Rama and Samir explained the basics, made us do warm-up and showcased the positions but before they allowed us to begin Jane interrupted.

"Wait, don't you think they should switch partners?" She asked. "And don't forget they have to change robes!" Jane pointed at a pile of clothes that was nearby the mat.

"Oh, of course," said Rama dumb-fondued. We changed robes and to my greatest unfortunate I got Charlie as a partner, despite me being aware he didn't like me, his response to being teamed up with me was joyful.

"Before you begin, you bow to each other." Samir said, unwillingly I bowed as did Chalice with that nasty grin on his face. The first few moves were all right but he was much worse than Kevin and my body started to protest whenever he gripped any part of my body. I overheard Matt whispering to Charlie that he was lucky to get such an easy partner, I wanted to give him the finger but chose not to in fear of someone noticing. He was really starting to annoy me so whenever it was my turn to attack I went in too hard, even hearing a tapping noise from Charlie's joints when I preformed a move that involved me taking hold of his arm and forcing him down with the help of my other hand rigorously smash his shoulder-blades. I gladly noticed him repressing the need to shout out the pain.

"No need to be so harsh," Patrick pointed out as he passed by us.

This time I had really angered Charlie, so at his turn to strike me down I resisted which Rama had told us not to, since none of the instructors being near us when it happened Charlie muttered a swear word and got up on his feet. From out of the blue Charlie rustled:

"You think you can get away easy? That's probably how they let you in by sleeping around, that's what you did with Chris yesterday, right? You disgusting whore, but I'll fucking take you down so you'll see where you belong."

Slept with Chris? What the hell, was that the rumor that went around? Unprepared for his attack, he sprinted towards and I tried to shield myself by holding up my elbows but he simply kicked my shim which hurt so incredibly I got shaky, then he elbowed my shoulder so hard I fell down.

"Well done," shouted Rama who had been unawared of him attacking me unexpectedly which wasn't allowed. Charlie shoot him a fake smile while I tried to get up but the pain in my foot was excruciating and so I used my core muscles to pull my upper body up but struggled with getting up on without the help of one of my feet.

"What's the matter? Can't cope with a bit of toughness, I even wonder how you survive this whole time being here, did you-?" Charlie began but stopped when he noticed Marie heading over to us, her expression worried.

"Oh, dear, what's wrong?" She asked me, I wanted to tell her what happened but now everyone's attention had turned to us and the room went awfully quiet, for the first time during the whole day Chris had his eyes on me.

This time Marie turned to Charlie since she didn't get a response from me, I was on the verge of tears and feared I'd start crying helplessly if I'd utter a word.

"What happened?" Marie asked again. Charlie looked dumb-struck, almost as if he regretted what he did but his gaze fell upon me and I felt a sting of hate directed from him.

Charlie shrugged. "I think I was a little too harsh on her and she didn't have the strength in her to stop my attack." His lie made me sick and though I desired to expose him, I felt weak and belittled, the look from everyone was pitiful as if I was a helpless little lamb. I hated feeling like this. Marie helped me up, my weight supported on her should and she was exceptionally strong.

"I think I have to check on you." She said. "You others can carry on." Despite her words, all of them still glared at me and Matt had hurried to Charlie to ask him what had occurred.

* * *

"It's just a little sprained, no worry though," said Marie quietly. She had just placed a bandaged around my ankle, the pain had faded but my rage from Charlie's attack and lie remained as strong as it had been earlier, I knew there was something wrong with him. He must have believed I was...sleeping with Chris or something, it had to be the fact that I was a girl and better than him that made him commit to these doings. But I wasn't _perfect_ , the shooting practice we had had today didn't go as well as Patrick had wanted me to practice again this night. God, what a asshole Charlie was for being angry and jealous of me merely because I had outrun him twice and was better than him in some things.

"Sylvia, if there's something wrong you have to tell us." Marie said, her eyes piercing mine. They were remotely blue, I noticed.

"No, I think he was just a little harsh." The words burned my tongue, I hated this, I hated when people made me out to be this weak person. It was wrong of me to lie, this man was going to work as a SOA which meant many lives were in his hands but...I simply couldn't allow myself to explain the truth, it'd be letting him win and besides why would they believe me? Hopefully someone would notice the wreckness in him.

"I'm afraid to say but you're going have to rest for at least three days so you won't take part in any wearing exercises which means..." She carefully raised her gaze from my foot to meet my eyes.

"...I have to leave?" I inquired, weary and petrified of the answer. Marie looked at me with an motherly empathy and for a moment I longed for grandma, even for mom, to hold me in their arms and my eyes begun to tear up. I longed for a touch of consolation, suddenly acknowledging the last time I received a hug was merely a month ago when I had arrived in London to see my uncles sickened me, the thought of my family was the breaking point and reluctantly my cheeks became wet from all the tears streaming down. Suddenly my ambition for becoming an SOA was gone, it didn't matter it would feel embarrassing that I left and Charlie's look of victory seemed far away. I wanted safety, I wanted comfort. Marie hadn't said anything when I began crying and as I looked up at her, a sense of stupidity ran through me, she must think I'm ridiculous for crying. A moment of silence lingered, only noise from thumps and shouts were being heard through the walls, I wondered what Chris would think when he'd see me leave? What the hell, why would _he_ care? Just because he had helped me yesterday didn't mean he cared about me, heck he might even have been in this whole thing of creating rumors with Charlie, maybe that was the reason he had helped me?

 _Don't exaggerate,_ a voice in my mind said. Of course, if he wanted me gone all that would be needed is to say a word, they'd listened to Chris.

"Sylvia?" Marie had spoken after what felt like hours, I admired for her not giving me a mean look but allowing me to calm down before speaking to me. "There has to be something wrong if you're crying. Is there something you want to tell me but can't?"

That sentence brought me back to a gloomy morning during my elementary years when one of the teachers had asked me to report to the nurse, confused I went there and met the nurse for the first time, strikingly the nurse in my memory assembled Marie. She had asked me questions about life and so on until what I had feared had left her mouth.

 _"Do you want to talk about your father? Because if there's something troubling you, tell me."_ Years had passed by and I had just started to accept the fact that he would forever be absent in my life so the vocal mention of my father teared me apart and the nurse had received the answer to why I spent all my time alone and away from classmates. After her talk with me I overheard her mentioning to the principle it was odd why it still bothered me so much since she had never encountered a child who still allowed themselves to stay alone and separated from others after a parent's death.

 _"You know that girl named Shierly in fifth grade? She lost her mother two years ago but today she's the happiest and cleverest girl in her year!"_ The nurse reveled to the principle.

Little was she aware of that I believed it was because of my mother and possibly my grandmother despite she attempted to make things better she didn't quite understand what to do but I was also shocked why I had stayed this way for so long, therefore I promised myself to change and a few months later the nurse felt it wasn't any longer necessary for me to continue having sessions with the school's psychologist.

"I think I'm upset because of something that happened before this, it's a family matter," I said in a low voice to Marie and entrusted in myself it wasn't a whole lie, I had fought with my family.

"Well, all right, I honestly don't want you to leave because well, I shouldn't say this but you're the first female candident we've had these past months and I'd hate it if you had to leave because of minor injury. You've proven yourself many times, Chris reveled that you've become the second best when it comes to his classes." Marie said. Chris? Had he spoken about me? The thought made feel confused yet a little less sad. I didn't become the best because I tried harder but because someone had gotten slower yet Chris spook positively about the change, why?

"But I want you to leave private matters at home, this is work and it's the worst place to bring your private life, understood?" Marie spoke, sounding a little stern. She took a deep breath and gestured for me to do the same, it did feel a little better after all that crying.

"Do you want to watch the rest of the class or...? Ok, then I'll allow you to rest," asked Marie, changing the option when I shook my head. "I'll inform you tomorrow if you'll be able to continue or not, you see, I have to discuss this matter with my colleagues."

Unfortunately I had to pass through the room to walk to the bedroom, I avoided making eye contact with anyone and Rama issued an apology on his and Samir's behalf but it only made me walk faster even if the thought behind the excuse was in good intention it made me appear again as a feeble person who couldn't cope with doing karate or judo.

I collapsed on the bed, not bothering brushing my teeth or washing my face. The moment I closed my eyes I fell into a long sleep, where I was haunted by nightmares of repteatly seeing my father die.

* * *

 **Ok, first some disclaimers: I don't know much about judo and I have only taken one lesson in it and I did a little search on the internet regarding the sport but there's a chance some of the facts are wrong. Also if an ankle is sprained, you'd need more than three days for it to recover, this I'm certain of since I've asked a nurse about this YET it may depend on how serious the injury is so, again don't take any of the facts 100% seriously. And in the last chapter they did a little bit a shooting and that may be incorrect despite me trying to gather some information about, hehe, so if there's something wrong you can point it out. Ok, that's all. Any thoughts, comments, questions? PLESE SHARE :)**


	10. With the Help of a New Friend

**Reminder: Everything belongs to Capcom but my own characters.**

* * *

My motives of staying with the BSAA flourished after having a long reflection about Charlie and the rest that had happened yesterday, the reminiscence of an old memory resuscitated the apprehension I had that not to ever grant anyone the permission to rule over my life. The sessions I had with a psychologist as a child had helped more than I believed, thinking about it, they helped me understand how I was the after all, despite obstacles in life, the one in control of my life. Yet again could I pass through these remaining weeks here? Being an SOA was the future I could envision, it was what I wanted but my insecurity and lack of mental strength was two hinders in my path. If I could be strong, if I _was_ strong Charlie wouldn't have acted the way he did towards, he wouldn't dare to if I emulated a sense of power and I knew this because I had been quiet the whole time and almost hiding in the shadows. Humans like Charlie effortlessly found the weakest in the group and the feeling I emitted was more of _'I'm the person people pick on'_ than ' _Don't mess with me' -_ this behavior couldn't continue. My confidence was in serious demand of improvement, the personality I showed wasn't the right one to have if I hoped to survive in this tough world but it's hard to know how to invigorate and where to begin when it came to my confidence. Obviously it would help with a bit more of talking from me whenever there was a conversation at the meal tables, though what more things could I do?

I closed my eyes visualizing the time I was lying down on a leather couch with my head resting on a scatter fashion and eyes half-opened, the motion of my breathing was calm. The woman was sitting on an arm-chair to side, her hands occupied with a clipboard and a pen. The day was sunny yet the room's sun-blinders were down so the light settings in the room was dim, casting shadows around the room and on the woman's face.

 _"When you go home after school...what's your favorite thing to do? How do you spend your pastime?" She asked while I thought about her question._

 _"Nothing really...sometimes I stay up in my room, after dinner I watch TV."_

 _The physiologist was quiet for a moment. "Is it something you enjoy doing?"_

 _I shook my head._

 _"Well, if you could do something else what would it be?"_

 _"I'm...not sure."_

 _"Mhm," she hummed, scribbling on her clipboard, "but was there something you did before when you were younger that you can remember?"_

 _"No...maybe playing with toys but that's boring now."_

 _"That's understandable."_

 _The room was filled with silence until broken by the woman. "I believe that you should write down a list of things you always wanted to do, is that ok?"_

 _I nodded._

 _"Good. I think five things are enough. It should be things that's possible for you to do, maybe like going to the fun fair. Do you want help with creating the list?"_

 _"No. I can do it."_

 _"That's all right but I would like to hear one now, could you do that?"_

 _"I...I think it would be fun if my grandma could take me to this bakery. We have their recipe-book and I've tried a few, they were tasty but I want to know if their pastries are as good in as the ones in the book."_

 _She wrote another note down. "Very good. You know, I believe you do have something that you enjoy doing."_

 _"You mean, baking?"_

 _"Exactly. Why didn't you count it as something you do?"_

 _"Because I don't do it every day."_

 _She smiled. "It doesn't have to be something you do everyday, it's okay even if it's something you do once a year!_ _We're almost done with today but there is still something I have to ask you...what do you think you're good at? Hobbies are often a representative of what's fun for us but also it becomes something we're good at. Just name one thing."_

 _"I'm good at baking."_

 _"Great, that's wonderful. I would like that during the day you point out things you enjoy doing and things you're good at. Ok?"_

So that was thing I remembered most vividly, well of course, with that session it was almost like finding my personality. On the next day we had an hour of reading in school and I noticed that it was something I enjoyed. So the weekend were spent in the town's library and after that I begun to find myself on that path of having to discovering who I was just as every young person must live through.

 _Remember your ambitions,_ said a voice in my head. Yes, of course! I had to remind myself why I was here and my mission in life as cliche as it sounded. Of course...and that nothing should be allowed to break me, nothing, especially not an idiot. Charlie couldn't be granted to continue without the instructors knowing of his true nature, I had to inform Marie of him. God, why didn't I think of this before instead of crying yet if I explained his intentions now after having lied to her, Marie would be upset I lied. Fuck, I had to have another reason to convict him therefore there wasn't really much to do till he broke a rule or went out of bounds.

The sound of someone opening the door awoke me from my thoughts and the person entered the room without hesitation as I recalled not having the locked the door before falling asleep. Shit, I was lucky no one managed to find out the door had been opened the whole night.

"Hey, are you up?" A familiar voice uttered and to my shock it was Chris's face I saw, he was standing in the doorway. I dragged up the sheet further up to cover my chest, thankful for wearing at least a t-shirt. Chris looked away when he noticed me covering up.

"Sorry, should have asked before coming in." He said, still looking away. God, I must look horrible with messy, entangled hair and puffy eyes.

"Yeah, you should have." I said angrily. "But you can come in." How annoying that he didn't consider it would be uncomfortable for a person who was half-sleep to have someone intrude without asking, let alone I was a girl and I might be not wearing any clothes. I seated myself up, not caring any longer I wasn't wearing a bra and saw Chris had brought a tray with him as he walked up to me - there was toast, fruit and a glass of juice. _Was he bringing me breakfast in bed?_ It felt awfully awkward and odd but pleasing.

"I brought you food," said Chris and placed the tray on my lap. "Marie was going to bring it but there was something she had to take care of first."

I didn't answer but went in for the toast, my stomach had growled the whole morning or was it morning? It didn't feel like it. Chris had stopped looking away, instead he remained sitting on the bed next to mine. Today he wore a green, long-sleeved shirt and it brought out the green color in his hazel eyes.

"What?" He asked while I chewed on the bread, glaring. He was actually quite cute, I thought for myself.

 _Stop, Sylvia, he is not cute and he's a dick for having avoided you for no fair reason last night,_ remarked a upset voice within me.

 _Yeah, but he brought me breakfast, in bed!_ Protested another voice.

 _Only_ _because Marie was busy with something else!_

"What's going to happen now?" I asked, sipping on the orange juice, ignoring the shouting voices in my head.

Chris set his gaze at the food, averting mine. "You're lucky."

"Why?"

"Dan left yesterday, so we - Marie and the rest, believed it's best you allow you to carry on." He explained as I nearly spilled juice over the sheets. Dan? But he was the best, why would he leave? Was this something that happened often, someone leaving in the middle of training?

"Did he say why?" I inquired curiously.

Chris looked up, raising his eyebrows. "That's none of your concern."

I glared back quiet, all of sudden he was acting professionally but not when he deiced to enter the room without permission? There was a moment of silence until he got up from the bed, about to leave until I bravely uttered a question.

"What's the deal with you?"

Chris wheeled around, confused-looking. "What did you say?"

"Why do you act so coldly only to later on help me? What's your point? I can't decide whether you're the nice guy or not."

"You know, that kind of talking isn't what acceptable here, I'm still your suprieror."

"So I'm basically supposed to shut up and say nothing."

Chris became quiet. Had I said something that was overly offensive, maybe I shouldn't have answer back so rudely and disrespectful after all I could be forced to leave any moment but still it annoyed me, his behavior, I couldn't put my finger to what drove me to this. I wanted to know who he was and his intentions, it was the way I dealt with people.

"You remind me of someone." Chris muttered and then turned to the door, walking slowly.

"Who?"

"Me," he responded, closing the door.

* * *

I finished my breakfast after our talk and it had turned cold yet I ate it whole-heartedly. Chris had forgotten explaining what I would do for the remaining days so I decided to dress and head out to see what's happening. When leaving the room, I made sure to check that Charlie or Matt weren't standing outside, they were the last persons I'd want to meet. As the coast was clear I left the corridor and realized I had walked into Chris and Marie having what I assumed, was a late lunch. Both were speaking in low voices, Marie fidgeting and Chris had an irately wrinkled his eyebrows, they were so deep into their conversation it took a while for neither one of them to notice me.

"Sylvia!" Marie almost shouted, nudging Chris to stop talking. "Come, sit, I hope you're feeling better?" I seated myself across Chris who tried to smile at me but it merely appeared as if he had just swallowed coins and was quietly chocking.

"I'm very happy that you allowed me to stay, this is really, really the only thing I want to work with and the BSAA are world-famous for their work. Honestly, it's an honor." I fawned, giving out a more professional and ambitious appeal than I had done in front of Chris. His weird smile was replaced by a doubtful look.

"Well, I suppose it's the best thing to do, after all it's simply a few days you have to rest and you can take part in other things."

"Yes, of course. But I wonder why I wasn't awoken with the rest?"

"Well, firstly because they had morning run to which you couldn't join and secondly because I knew it would be best if you rested for a while."

"I appreciate your concern but I really want to prove myself, I think-"

Marie waved her hands. "There's other ways of proving your self, I can assure you of that. When I was first working with the BSAA, my captain wouldn't stop commenting how badly I handed firearms but he sure needed me whenever it came to patching up the wounded, I was the best there was."

Hearing Marie's backstory released a feeling of relief, if someone managed to suck at handling firearms but was now teaching future SOA:s there was still a chance for me to succeed.

"Oh, look." Marie said, looking behind me. I turned around too quickly and heard a crack in my neck, nonetheless I saw the others walk back from one of the classes. Charlie and Matt walked first and as they noticed me both sneered, Kevin however rushed to my side and looked utterly concerned.

"Sylvia!" He said, seating himself next to me. "How are you?"

"Better, I believe," I answered, keeping my gaze at Charlie eventually he rounded the table and headed for the dormitories with Matt.

"Hey, Sylvia," shouted Tim. "How's the foot?"

"Getting there, thanks for asking!"

Tim and Simon waved, following Damian to the corridor.

"I suppose I'm finished with my meal." Marie said. "Chris?" She asked, menacing for him to follow along. Chris stared at Kevin who sat a little too close to me.

"Yeah, I'm coming." He said and before they left Marie turned to me. "You know what to do then, follow the ordinary classes and you can watch the rest. Eventually you'll start to notice when you're ready to get back up on your feet."

I smiled. "Will do, thank you."

"So are you coming for Jane's class?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah."

The rest of the day went by with me and Charlie exchanging looks of hate, this carried on for the last two classes up to I realized it shouldn't take over me and remembered to focus on the important things such as listening during the classes. Kevin didn't make it a secret anymore that he wanted to remain with me and I realized we had already formed groups. The brothers who usually hanged out with Dan were now alone, Damian who switched between the brothers and Dan seemed upset that one of his friends had left. Charlie and Matt were as they always behaved, together not allowing anyone join them.

I still felt a little worried, unlike the worry I had had coming here, I was afraid of another one of Charlie's attacks. But Kevin's present made me feel better and I was glad he had taken a fancy of me though at times he would overdo it by trying to offer his arm for me while walking between classes. It was also weird because no one had ever cared enough to try and befriend me, it had always been me who had to put in extra effort in order to receive someone's attention. For all sincerity it made my ego grow just a little and I was glad for it, it was certainly wholesome.

"No, it's fine. I promise." I ensured him for the hundredth time as he put forward his arm. Defeated, he turned around embracing himself as the refusal was embarrassing.

After a boring dinner there was another of Chris's torture workouts. I didn't have to endure it but knew it was difficult, this day the workout was wrapped up with a class in handling automatic firearms, to my joy we were handed different automatics that had been specially designed for the BSAA soldiers, yet I was still the worst in the class regarding firearms. Lastly the day ended around midnight and I decided to head for bed immediately though this night I troubled myself by brushing my teeth and following my skincare routine despite being very sleepy. I was about to turn off the lights when I heard a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I inquired fearing it was Charlie and Matt.

"It's Kevin." The voice on the other side said. I arose from the bed and opened the door instead of allowing him in, I still wanted to be the one in control and if I had let him to open the door the others might think they have the power to enter whenever they desired to.

"What is it?" I asked, viewing Kevin in his shorts and linen.

"Can I come in?" He asked nervously, he was rather shy I remembered from our first encounter but brave enough to ask me although there was already a rumor of me sleeping around. Funny, it hadn't come to my mind until now, the rumor.

"Yeah, I guess." I broached open the door more for him to come in, then hurried to sit on my bed and Kevin sat next to me. For a moment there was an awkward glare, eventually I fake-coughed.

"So...how have these days been for you?" Kevin asked and he had looked up, met my eyes and turned away.

"Okay," I muttered, glaring at my bandaged foot.

"They talk about you." Kevin blurted out, unsure of what he had said.

"Who?" I asked, my mind went straight to Charlie and Matt.

"You know who...I can't hear what they're saying but your name has slipped from their mouth enough for me to hear even if my bed is the furthest away from theirs."

Obviously I was a subject in their conversation although what would they say? Were they planning another way of accusing me of doing something forbidden or was it another way to assault me?

"I feel really bad for you." Kevin said.

"Don't." I snapped, annoyed for that look of compassion in his eyes.

"Sorry...but I do." He became quiet for a while, then as he got up on his feet I expected him to leave but instead he sat next to me only to hug me.

"Eh, I'm fine. Really." It was uncomfortable to have someone who I barely knew care so much, almost to the point of feeling unnatural, like Kevin was after something.

Kevin lastly let go of me, his head hanging low.

"It's weird, I know but I felt it was needed."

"Thanks..." He was so kind and for a reason the only real kindness I ever expericened that wasn't from a family member was from...I couldn't think of anyone. Possibly one person I had befriended before high school but it was briefly and that girl was nice to everyone. Kathleen and Sara were just polite but not caring the way Kevin was showing. I assumed if I had had the possibility of remaining at my old BSAA work my friendship with Saro, Nawra, Lenny and Paul would have developed.

"Listen, Sylvia. If these guys are up to something you should really tell Marie about it. It's not okay that these idiots are becoming soldiers."

So he had noticed there was something odd with them, good at least someone had caught up on it.

"You're right but how the fuck can I prove they're idiots?"

"Just tell the superiors, Marie will understand!"

"It's not that easy, you saw how Rama barely noticed Charlie had attacked me!"

"Charlie and Matt were the ones who told us you were sleeping with Chris."

Of course, it was them but how did they know I was out and that Chris was with me? Could they have sneaked around the area, it had to be that since Patrick was probably the only one aware of what I was doing that night but was Patrick also aware of Chris helping me?

"They sneak off at night." Kevin explained, confessing my suspicion. "They don't think we, Tim, Simon and the others, know what they're doing but then again they're idiots."

"Good, now I have something that they're doing that's wrong. Thanks, Kevin." I figured if I should tell Marie but my mind wandered to Chris yet why would Chris be a better option to explain the situation, he wasn't the one in charge. Then I acknowledged if they sneaked around they could be attacking me while sleeping but it was possibly if either one of the morons could pick locks. I felt unsafe, shivering.

"Is there a chance you could sleep here tonight?" I asked Kevin. He was taken aback at my question and leaned closer to me.

"Aren't you afraid what they'll think of it, me sleeping here?"

"I don't care. If Charlie was capable of attacking me in front of Marie and the others what couldn't he do if I was asleep and alone?"

"You're right."

"So you'll do it?"

Kevin nodded. "Let me get ready first, I'll be back in a minute."

I watched him open the door and leave. What if I was too fast on trusting Kevin? He could be planning this with Charlie and Matt but he never hung out with them and I was certain he liked me, all the looks I recived from him were good-hearted unlike Charlie's hateful ones. Still Kevin could be a good actor...but what was in it for him? Worried, I knew tonight I had to sleep with one eye open and the first thing I would do tomorrow was head straight to Marie and reveal everything to her.

Kevin arrived minutes later. "I'm ready to sleep." He chose the bed opposite mine.

"I'll turn off the lights." I murmured, pacing to the dowse the light and lastly I laid down in the bed.

"Good night." Kevin whispered.

"Good night." I said. "Hey, do you know why Dan left?"

Kevin yawned. "After hearing Rama and Samir's story he decided he couldn't leave his children," so Dan was a father. "It just wasn't worth it, Dan wanted to be there for his children, he told us. They're quite young, you know."

"Yeah, that's understandable." I said, thinking of my father.

* * *

"So we're almost at end of your first week." Marie said at breakfast a few days later, today I could start joining the others on the physical challenges and the other classes were soon to end as we had been taught everything an SOA had to learn, "experience" was the one thing we lacked, said Rama. I had managed to survive for thins long and although I waited for possible another attack from Charlie so Marie could throw him out he and Matt were unusually calm. I felt happy though because I was steps closer to finally 'graduating' as Kevin always said.

"The next week will resemble your first but there are going to be tests you have to manage, these are all designed for the BSAA: soldiers and must be completed by all of you if you intend to become SOA:s." The rings under her eyes were darker and heavier making her appear older, she looked beaten down.

The morning after Kevin and mine night-chat I steered right to her, insisting I had to have a talk with her. After a half-lie where I reveled to her that I felt as if Charlie had been intentional in his attack to make it seem as if I hadn't lied to her, I didn't tell Marie I knew of his intentions before. I also used Kevin's back up story too, her expression turned graver and graver by each word. The whole conversation could easily be switched to a real classroom because it felt as if the "fight" between me and Charlie was like 'kindergarten-kids in a sandbox'. It was necessary to reveal the truth to Marie yet painful as I was a part of this childish quarrel. Marie comforted me, letting me and Kevin sleep in the same room if I felt it was needed but not that Charlie was going to be forced to leave instead there had to be harsher and more evidence to the accusations. Her final judgement didn't bother me knowing Kevin was on my side and the superiors would have their eyes on Charlie I carried on trying to remember those two positives things and the reason why I was here.

"That's all, you may leave." Marie said, waving us away. Kevin and I walked together to our class with Rama and Samir.

"So it's only getting rougher." Kevin remarked.

"How do you know?"

Kevin shrugged his shoulders. "I know a guy who's an SOA."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he has even worked with Chris. He was the one who told me to apply to the BSAA."

"Oh, okay," I said.

* * *

Kevin was more than right, the tests were tormenting, at least the first ones. On the first Monday of the second week everyone had been awaken by aloud firecracerks going off in the corridor and all of us, still in our pajamas ran to see what was going on. Marie stood in the corridor, informing us to change and meet us outside, when we went outdoor there were several backpacks which we had to carry and these were heavier than the ones we carried on our first run with Chris. We continued into cars and drove a long way, the whole ride was quiet because of the early morning. Ultimately we arrived at a remote place that seemed to be a place for hikers. It was very beautiful with green, high hills and the ocean was visible from the height we were standing on. After a rattling, long hike to which gave me a lot painful abrasions there was breakfast to eat at the finish line, hungrier than ever I immediately ate despite the tasteless eggs, oatmeal and toast. Marie and the instructors had brought the food here. The hike hadn't been guided by Chris or anyone at all, we simply had to follow the trail forward and Kevin had accompanied me for a while but whenever he started to slow down I got agitated but I didn't want to abandon him since he had been so kind yet it took some time until he let me carry on without him. It took a few hours for everyone to finish and after having eaten we were transported back to the military base where there was a a sort of interrogation. The instructors were upset since no one had bothered to remember one of Samir and Rama's rule about exploring, _take in your environment_ , they had repeated several times. Everyone was asked a question about the place yet no one had a right answer. Because of that we had an extra long lesson of the importance of using everything we had been taught. The rest of day carried as usual although we were allowed to have an earlier bedtime. Kevin continued sleeping in the room with me and both of us fell directly into to sleep, neither one tending to our wounds from the hike than putting plasters on them.

A loud commotion coming from the large white room awoke Kevin and I and we hurried to see what was occurring, the other guys followed and I was horrified to see five or six aggressive zombies throwing around chairs since the room was dark it was difficult to see exactly how many there were of the zombies.

"What the fuck?" Charlie screamed, he grabbed the leg of one of the broken chairs and the rest attempted to seize other broken parts of the furniture. Why wasn't the instructors awaken by the noise? Unless...

"Stop," I shouted as the guys managed to fight the zombies. "They're not real."

The lights turned on, Rama and Samir hurried into the room, they were holding some types of controls and the zombies had frozen.

"Well done, Sylvia." Ram said, clapping me on the back. "One of the important things is to determine if the situation is real or not and there have been times where SOA:s have been tricked into situations that almost led to their deaths. Sylvia here understood this was one of those situations." He turned to me.

"Yeah, I thought if any of the instructors weren't also up it had to be a planned attack or some exercise. If zombies were actually attacking us you would be up fighting them as well." I said.

"Good thinking, really!" Rama said, smiling.

"You can change into clothes and head outside, Patrick and Chris are waiting for you."

"But we've barely had any sleep!" Tim complained.

Samir shook his head. "That can as well happen in missions, you have to be able to stay clear despite lack of sleep so, come on, hurry up."

After dressing rapidly, Kevin had to wait for me to finish until it was his turn to change, we went outside in the dark and chilly night where Patrick and Chris were standing. None of them looked as tired as us.

"We have constructed a special obstacle course for you, one by one will enter it and there's going to be BOW:s you have to protect yourself from but civilians as so be careful to not shoot at everything that appears in front of you." Patrick said. "They're not real BOW:s, only cardboard-likes of them." He explained when Tim gaped his mouth opened, shocked.

"You will use simple handguns to complete the exercise and use your bullets wisely, the more ammunition you leave with the better."

Chris and Patrick equipped us with handguns, lighter than the previous weapons we used. Then we walked around the shooting range and saw a labyrinth with high walls or it had to be a labyrinth. Tim was the first to enter and came out after some fifteen minutes. Charlie and Matt asked him questions but Tim wasn't allowed to answer Patrick said, after Damian it was my turn.

"Good luck," sneered Charlie.

"Ignore him." Kevin whispered to me. I walked into the electric-governed door and it shut with a snap after I passed in. Ahead of me was what resembled a street in the middle of a city, holding tightly on my gun I walked carefully forward and a few steps in the street a card-board of a hunter appeared, without hesitation I shoot at it three times but it went down after a single bullet.

"Fuck, save your bullets, Sylvia." I whispered to myself.

The same occurred further down the street with occasional pictures of civilians turning up though I knew not to shoot at them, after entering a door at the end of the street was the environment of dinning hall that looked rather bloody. A while passed until a BOW appareled but this time I noticed it on the mirror in front of me and I wheeled around to shoot it but it went down too fast.

"Fuck." I muttered. I had to be quicker and on the next BOW I shoot without aiming but luckily I didn't miss. The next environment was a garden and the BOW:s that appeared where small ones that were only noticeable if I looked down. This went faster than the other "rooms" but many turned up at the same time so I used too many bullets from the stress of trying to take them all down.

I left the strange place and was glad to finish. Next was Kevin and I wished him a good luck as he winked at me.

Two hours or more passed for all of us to finish. "You'll have your results tomorrow, it takes time for the machine to process them." Patrick explained. "You can head back to your dormitories. Good night."

"That was awesome." Kevin said as we headed back.

"Yeah, it was."

The sun was beginning to show, it was soon dawn.

* * *

 **I'm going away which means no chapters until Monday, I wrote this in a hurry so I apologize for the quality of it, haha, I might re-read it when I come back to fix spelling mistakes...anyway, any thoughts on this chapter? Lemme me know! ^_^**


	11. Barely Up

**Hello, beauties! I'm back from Madrid, it was very nice but VERY caliente, if any of you are traveling to Madrid I'd love to help you finding things to do and places to eat, just a tip :)**

 **Reminder: Everything except minor characters and Sylvia belongs to Capcom, the rest are mine.**

* * *

"Are you prepared for what is ahead of you? The journey, the loneliness you'll experience while being out there, the cold and wet weather, the knowledge of not knowing whether or not you'll survive or..." Samir inquired. "...Do you want to stop and go home?"

Another deep breath pushed through, coming from me. The place Samir and I were situated in was a bleak, hoary one and the metal chair I was sitting on was uncomfortable. At first when I entered the room, the fright of it being a inquiry with Samir emerged but I calmed down once realizing the look on Samir's face was nothing but pure tranquility, nothing of seriousness was showing.

"No," I muttered. "I want to continue."

"You don't sound very determined." He pointed out, remaining calm and relaxed.

Another breath. "I _am_ more than certain I can and will carry on."

The look on his face changed from a calm one to a supercilious one. "So it doesn't scare you, the thought of dying?"

His words and expression felt weird, as if he never had been the light-hearted guy who managed to make a funny joke even if it wasn't the appropriate time.

This morning we had been ordered to dress rapidly then head to Samir and Rama for reporting, they were sitting in the usual classroom, as the rest said it was now, and one by one we had been called upon from the room next door where Samir had first went to, Rama went somewhere else. The person who was called wasn't allowed to come back because after both Matt and Simon didn't return and the rest of us looked perplexed and rather frightened. I figured out it was going to be a sort of test but what kind of test I was unsure of, though it must be an important one as there was so much weight put in it and from the grievousness being carried around it.

"Are you going to answer the question?" Samir inquired again.

"No." I said. "To your former question."

"What about your friend's deaths?"

"I don't have any." After slipping it out I regretted because of the look erupting from Samir.

"Why? Are you better than the others is that why you refuse to admit to having friends? Isn't Kevin your friend?"

"We get along, that's enough." I said, ignoring the first questions.

"You still haven't answered all my questions."

I was quiet for a moment. "First of all, it is easier to say I don't have any friends, it makes things less heavier on the emotional part and no, I don't believe myself to be better than anyone else."

Another moment of silence.

"What about your family? Wouldn't it be difficult for them to know you might get killed?"

The word "family" felt as if I had been hit in the guts but my expression was yet the same.

"They understand why I am here." I lied.

"Well, Marie told me there was a family issue that had distracted you from practice and if it would happen during a mission-"

"It won't ever again happen," I said fiercely, upset that Marie had informed him of it.

"What was the family issue about?"

"It's not important."

"Yes, it is."

I tried coming up with lies and reflected which one to use - it was a sickness in the family, an accident, an issue over money...

"Money stuff. You know how that can ruin things sometimes."

Samir glared. "Okay, Charlie then, why do you think he is trying to attack you."

"I...I believe..."

"Yes...?"

"I think he's jealous."

"Your proof isn't really valid, we need something less abstract than your beliefs of what his intentions are. He passed all the tests to come here, why would he want to attack you?"

I knew Samir was trying to play mind tricks, attempting to break us down and see if we could easily be taken down by a few words but I wouldn't let it happen, the words were nothing compared to what I had experienced.

"People aren't always as good as they make themselves to be."

"You need to be able to trust your soon-to-be co-workers, these people are going to be partly responsible for your safety and how would that work if neither one trusted each other."

It wasn't a question but a statement.

"I'll trust him when he deserves it."

Samir looked at me again, awaiting for me to say anything else.

"Fine. You can pass through that door and you'll have more information about what's going to occur." He didn't pointed at the door I entered but the one behind me.

I left Samir, noticing the other door led to the outdoors. The only one standing there was Rama and he seemed to be as serious as his companion, neither Matt or Simon was anywhere to be seen. In front of Rama was a backpack, larger and more equipped than the previous ones I had encountered whilst being on the course. Was there more hiking to be done?

"You'll find everything you need in this bag for you journey. A tent, rain clothes, water bottles...-"

"Am I going to stay outside during the night?"

Rama held up his hand. "In a minute, be patient. Anyway, as you probably have noticed this is another test and a more difficult one. You have being given a location, the map you'll find in the bag, which you must reach within forty-eight hours."

Forty-eight hours? Two fucking days? The weather was freezing and raining and the thought of spending it out there was more than upsetting, it was agitating.

"You have been taught how to read maps, so that's no trouble. You'll have basic equipment to make fires and cook food. The tent you ought to know how to put together considering you're very bright."

I blushed at the compliment, Rama wasn't as good as Samir when it came to pretending to be someone they're not.

"You have food but must be caucuses in how you handle it. Stay clear from roads and other places, as everyone have been given different locations no one is going to be assisted in this and if you realize someone is coming closer to you, you have to get away from there as fast as possible. If you are caught by anyone, the test will end for you. You'll carry a clock with you since it is necessary to know how much time you have. The only way to pass the test is to reach the location on your map within the forty-eight hours, understood?"

I nodded, as he was speaking an adrenalin-rush streamed through my body and I was scared yet excited to prove my worth. It shouldn't be so hard to reach the location, really. Everything from Samir's questioning seemed unimportant, his attempt of trying to shock me didn't quite work as I was shaking eagerly to get started.

"Any questions?" Rama asked.

"No." I said.

"Then you can start...now!" He shouted, looking at his clock. I ran to put on the raincoat that had already been taken out of the back, picked up the backpack and hurried into the forest.

* * *

The map was harder to read than earlier conceived, it was difficult to exactly interpret where I was standing or which direction I was looking at. Our previous classes with Rama and Samir had taught us that the most vital rule when it came to reading a map was adjusting the map so it pointed correctly. But I had trouble to use it since whenever I stepped to the right, left, back or any direction at all I had to re-center the map correctly. At the moment I was confused to why it showed I was looking north since in front of me was an anthill and I knew that ants preferred to build their homes looking at the south because of the sun and warmth, also why the map showed the military base was at the right side of where I stood than behind me because I could still see it from the low hill I posed on. Eventually I succeeded making the map point right and from there on could continue. From having read the map I learned that the location I had to progress to was at the end of it, close to the hills where we had hiked and that the forest was larger than I thought. At our first run with Chris the forest never gave much of an impression but the map showed that the forest was actually split into two due to a highway but the forest was connected at the end of the highway. Why an engineer thought it was good to design a road like that, I didn't know since the road reached a dead-end to a forest.

I walked and walked, once a while glaring at the clock Rama had handed me, it didn't show what time it was but how many hours were remaining for me to reach my location point. The sun had begun to peak from the clouds, thus ending the rainy weather and when supposedly four hours had passed since I left the facility a rainbow appeared. It was beautiful, I stopped to look at it but remembered not to be distracted. I hadn't even gone properly through the backpack I carried on me, the first thing I saw in it was the information-paper which explicated where I had to go and the basic rules to the test was being performed. We were not aloud to help each other, the paper had mentioned, I wondered if Kevin would help me if he saw me. I didn't want to stumble upon anyone, let alone Charlie and Simon but if Kevin emerged from a tree it wouldn't be so bad because the company could help make the task less tedious.

Suddenly the sound of a creak erupted and I frooze still, the sound had came from the bushes near and rightfully so I saw glimpses of someone sneaking behind the bushes. Slowly I crept back, keeping my gaze at the person until finally that person decided to turn around and head back. I sighed thankfully, and instantly sprinted the other way from where the person had appeared. I didn't stop until I found a good spot to hide where a few fallen trees surrounded a large hollow one in the middle, I crawled into the hollow tree and listened if someone else was nearby. After a solid minute of hearing nothing but my heavy breaths I decided to get up and continue, since I had sprinted from the road leading me to the highway I had to re-read the map again and find a new route. Defeated, I began my new journey. Another four hours passed of nothing but walking and reading the map until I had to go through my backpack, once more I found a remote spot to go through my things. I first awaited to see if anyone else was close then proceeded. The information-paper laid on top of the neatly packed tent, there was extra clothes too, a first aid kit, a knife, rope and lastly the food which consisted of three bananas, three apples, three bars, a pack of butter, uncooked potatoes, mushrooms and the supplies to cook the food - a pot and a sleeve. I never ate mushrooms, they were the only food I would never place in my mouth so they wouldn't be touched therefore I resolved the bars would be breakfast and lunch, the potatoes dinner and the fruits I could eat whenever my stomach would start growling. I only had one bottle filled with water so I realized it would be necessary to find a river for collecting water.

I carried forward despite feeling blisters and abrasion on my feet and ignoring the heavy backpack, it was difficult and I got hungry so I ate an apple but it barley calmed the hunger. Several times the sounds of coming from a person was heard and several times I had to sprint away so they wouldn't find me, it could be Kevin but there was also the chance of it being Charlie or Matt, not to mention we aren't allowed to help each other and I wouldn't want to turn down helping Tim or Simon, Damian I would love to deny help to ever since he refused to let me drink from his water bottle.

There weren't a lot of animals in this forest although every so often a rabbit or squirrel turned up but jumped or climbed away the moment they sensed my present, minute by minute the task felt even more tedious. Night time arrived and after losing track of where I was heading too often it hadn't been way until past midnight I reached the highway but I remembered Rama and Samir teaching us to stay away from roads and keeping in mind that we were being tracked down, dwelling on a low profile was vital. Hence I strutted along the high-way, still in the forest so I could reach the place where the forest connected and pass through there, hidden by the trees. After some hour or so I acknowledged it was best if I rested for a while. A tree with many branch was near a river so I climbed up it, thinking of a book where the protagonist had to sleep in trees because of it was safer. There was a thick enough branch for me to lay down on but before closing my eyes I tied myself to the tree, preferably an oak, so I wouldn't fall down and instantly fell asleep not minding the discomfort from the solid branch and the awkward position I was in.

Four hours was enough to sleep, I decided, I had woken many times during the rest but now it was time to continue even if the sun merely up. The breakfast consisted of the last drops of water and a bar. I made a fire when the sun had appeared, just a small one so I could boil the water from the river and whilst the water was heating, killing the unwanted bacteria I persisted on taking a look on my feet.

It was shocking to see my blood-drenched socks and that my feet were covered in abrasions and blisters which were burning and stinging simultaneously, the shock of viewing the sight acknowledged the pain I had attempted to ignore and I moaned loudly. Another moan but from relief erupted as I placed the wounded feet in the river, turning the water around the feet lightly red because of the blood. After some well-desevered cleaning, plastering and massing the feet I put on the extra pair of socks, cleaned my shoes so my feet get rid of having to be in dirty shoes, I gathered the water and packed the supplies, then continued. But now, as I was aware of the wounds on my feet it made me walker slower and if I continued in this pace the chance of reaching the location point was smaller. Though it was possible to walk faster, my foot had to be dragged by the other one, one step at a time. Twenty hours remained and only two bars, five potatoes, half the butter and two bananas remained when it was mid-day. I had reached the connecting part of the forest at least, yet I felt someone was watching me so I tried to look for a gestalt but a blow to the back of my head left me in total darkness.

* * *

"Shhh, you'll wake her."

Naked trees...soft raindrops...my body being pulled on the ground...I attempted to keep my eyes open, to take in the environment but I was exhausted, the pain exploded from my head, blood wetting the hair...darkness took over.

"Ugh..." I lightly moaned from being awoken once more, water flooded my ears and I was entirely wet...my eyelids heavy, my body still in pain.

"Look, she is trying to open her eyes."

"Shut up."

Two people held onto my feet, dragging me, the ground was no longer water but rotten leaves, molted branches and dirt and since I was refused by m body of receiving the sight of the two people who were dragging me I gave up and closed my eyes. Suddenly I was struck by stumb and no longer holding in the screams I shouted so loudly crows creaked and left the trees they were sitting on.

"Shut up!" This time it was directed to me and once more I was hit by a hard object.

* * *

"Sylvia?"

Tim's face was inches away from mine and I smelled his breath, he had just eaten a bar I supposed. Tim looked very concerned and he repeated saying my name, I wanted to answer but had no energy to open my mouth, let alone breath normally.

"Don't worry." Tim said calmly as my breathing became panted. "Help is on its way."

"Good..." I mouthed. Tim smiled weakly then lifted my head to lay it gently on his lap. I closed my eyes from the fatigue.

* * *

I woke up in my room, feeling I had been taken care of, no longer bleeding and well patched, Marie had done a wonderful job the pain was number yet I had survived but I was hungrier than ever. It was embarrassing, I understood what had occurred now as I was conscious, I knew this was the doing's of Charlie and Matt and although I never had a clear view of who was dragging me across the forest I recognized their voices.

I laid in the bed, emotionless. There was nothing left to do but to wait and have someone explain the situation, all I had conjured was that Tim had to be one the who found me and someone else could have been with him, possibly his brother or Kevin since Damian would never help anyone but where were Charlie and Matt be, and what will happen to them? If they were caught, I assumed, they must have ran away otherwise I wouldn't be in this bed. I wondered if any of the superiors had called my grandma or my uncles, were they here right now? God, if they were...the whole scenario would perfectly fit in a terrible movie about some innocent girl that was being billed and attacked in school, then the girl would be saved by the hot, popular guy who no one would ever believe could fall for the bullied girl, maybe that good-looking guy could be Chris...I imagined Chris comforting me, caressing me in armful, encircled by his strong arms.

 _What the hell, Sylva? Is that what's occupying your mind right NOW?_

 _Shut up._ I told myself.

BANG, the door was pushed open, Kevin stood in the doorway.

"You're up." He screamed, running to sit on the side of the bed. He viewed me, his eyes wandering from the plastered arms and the feet that were sticking out from the fluffy blanket I had been handed.

My eyes were watering from the distraught look on his face. "Sylvia..." He murmured.

"I know, why did this have to happen to me?"

Kevin sat closer, lifted my head as Tim had done and laid me down on his lap. It felt nice to have to someone comfort me after the disaster.

"It's all right, your injuries must be shitty to deal with but Marie said you can continue if you want to."

Still in pain from the wounds and upset from the attack the news merely brought any joy. Did I even want to become an SOA after this? Yes, I wanted it more than ever, I was just upset from all of the exhaustion.

"Mhm. I think I can still walk and do stuff, you know. It's just it wasn't so comfortable being pulled on the soil. How long have I been here?"

"I believe half the day has passed from when we found you."

Kevin began stroking my forehead, the feeling of calmness appeared and I sensed a warmth eruption from his hand and entering my body. We remained in this position, it was more than nice, I enjoyed it too much so when the door was opened yet again I was angered.

"Chris?" Kevin asked, surprised.

Too indifferent that he had so rudely entered the room I didn't bother to acknowledge his arrival.

"Is she still up?" Chris asked, I couldn't help but notice a distinct sound of irritation.

"Uhm, I don't know, maybe she fell asleep again.

"All right," Chris said, more annoyed. "Get out."

Kevin who usually never spoke up refuse the order, still stroking me over the forehead. "Do I have to?"

"Yeah, get out."

Carefully he placed my head back on the cushion and left without closing the door behind him to which Chris pointed out and Kevin slowly closed it.

"I know you're not asleep." Chris muttered.

I opened my eyes, he was standing next to the bed, giving out a victor feeling.

"Yes?" I asked cooly, did he never attempt to be nice? He was so confusing, why the heck did he have to change his behavior so often?

"You are aware of who attacked you in the forest?"

"Yes."

"Can you say who?"

I sighed. "Charlie and Matt."

"Right. Do you know what they planned on doing with you?"

"No."

Chris was quiet.

"Were are they?" I asked.

"Gone." Now he was the one who sighed.

"What?!"

"They apparently left your body," he said but stopped as I shoot him a mean look. "I mean you, they left you, sorry."

I scarcely smiled, I managed to make him feel guilty. So it was so easy to guilt-shame him?

"They left you in the forest and Tim found you, he managed to scream for help and Kevin came, he took on look at you and knew he had to run back to us." Chris sat down. "He ran the whole way, he was barely breathing when he arrived." Then Chris uttered something I didn't hear well.

"What?"

"He really cares about you." Chris said. "Don't take that for granted."

Was Chris jealous of Kevin being the one who helped me, for being the guy in shinning armor as people said, it would feel oddly satisfying if it was right.

"I won't." I said, sounding less cold.

"We should have listened to you. I'm sorry, Sylvia." I only heard Chris saying my name, the rest didn't matter. He pronounced the end of my name with a "Sylvi-AH" and I had no idea why the hell I acted this way, my stomach was upturned and my hands clenching onto the sheet. This was also the second time Chris visited me in bed...that sentence sounded bizarre without context.

 _You're in love,_ a voice in my head teased.

I shook my head. Chris glared. "What is it?" He asked, that bewildered look on his face was cute, it made him appear puppy-like.

 _Oh good God, shut up. Stop, you've been attacked, you might have lost the possibility of achevining your dream-career and this is what you think?_

"Sylvia, you don't continue the course, no one would blame you for quitting." Chris said.

"No, I don't have to but it's what I chose."

"Sometimes you make the wrong choices."

"This isn't one of them." Wasn't I just in doubt? Why was I lying? But it didn't feel as if it was a lie, it was the truth, I wanted no more than to proceed.

"Well, it is for the better after all." Chris said, massaging his shoulders and it made the hair on my arm rise, his muscles were so big.

"Why?"

"You're one of the best we'll have."

 _Maybe he likes you too if you're lucky..._

 _Shut up,_ I shouted in my head but smiled at Chris.

* * *

Chris explained we would had to leave the room and head to the main room for dinner, Marie was going to explain everything, he has said. But first I had to dress and he hurried to leave. I dressed quickly and saw he was waiting for me in the corridor. Everyone were apprenrently waiting for me and what I was afraid occurred - everyone's attention was at me. It seemed extra weird having Chris accompanying me, Kevin had saved a seat for me and he eaglerly waved for me to sit down.

"You may know Sylvia was attacked by Charlie and Matt, this has caused quite a problem." Marie said, enhancing the word "quite". "There's a law here that says no harm should be done to any of you during the time of becoming special operation agents. We have reported the assault to administrative autorithy that deals with work-related issues as it is our responsibility to do so and as of now it is yet uncertain if you can continue your training."

"No!" Tim and Simon shouted, looking childish with their pouted lips.

"Why?" Kevin added. "Sylvia is recovering and she wants to continue as well as the rest of us.

Marie shook her head, she seemed as upset as the others. "I understand your concern but there is not answer until tomorrow morning, so this might be your last night."

"Does this mean the BSAA has to cease?" Simon asked.

"No, merely that this education-course will undergo an investigation and that it's up to the experts to determine if it's safely to continue using it for future SOA:s."

"So we can still become SOA:s?" The usually quiet Damian asked.

Marie nodded. "It does but as this can be your last night, it's better to have dinner and afterwards allow you to pack just in case you would have to leave."

I felt horrible for ruining the possibility of Kevin and the brother's becoming SOA:s, not for Damian though I didn't care about him, I expected a look of hate for having caused trouble but neither the superiors or trainees had any anger on their expression, not even Damian. Jane even smiled at me, with a worried look although but it was more of worry for me not for what would happen with her job.

"Rama, can you bring the food?" Marie inquired and Rama got on his feet and returned within seconds with boxes of pizza. The time for usual dinner had probably passed since all of us immediately reached for a slice and ate in silence.

"Sylvia, can I speak with you?" Marie wondered after half the pizzas were eaten. I arose and followed her into the corridor for the classrooms.

"I didn't tell you everything." Marie began, she took a deep breath after finishing her sentence. I remained quiet and allowed her to carry on. "It can be up to you if the education course stops, if you're willing to withdraw the registration to being gravely injured in a way that shouldn't occur in this training, the authorities might allow us to continue if you decide the assault doesn't need to reported."

Marie had played her cards right, first informing all of us that there is the chance of us not continuing and forcing me to see everyone's becoming upset, if she reveled everything in from of the others it would be obviously that she would try and guilt-trip me in the most distasteful way. But she wasn't aware that I had been willing to report the attack from the start, this could happen everywhere and I knew the BSAA worked hard against these matters, it was simply one of thoses times that happened one in a million. However I was still upset of Marie trying to put all weight on me.

"I'll have to think about it." I muttered. "Can I tell you after dinner?"

Marie nodded but I still saw glints of anger in her, I shouldn't try making enemies as I've barely lost the previous ones, Matt and Charlie were yet out there. So all in all I could do nothing but understand Marie's situation, they did also allow me to continue after having sprained my ankle.

"But I believe I might think it won't happen." I said, unsure of why I was allowing this pass by. "There's no need to abruptly stop our training and if we could finish it, I would love it since it'd be a shame if all this work went to waste."

Marie nodded with a relieved look. "I knew you would come to your senses. You're a clever girl."

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 **THERE IT IS! Finally, I had written like 1000 words and when I tried to save the chapter it vanished...so I had to re-write the piece...:( But never mind, its here! PLEASE REVIEW? Makes me write faster ;)**


	12. The Number Four

**WARNING - VERY LONG CHAPTER. I have to tell you that is not really a chapter that shows any interaction between Sylvia and Chris so if you're reading this fanfic mostly for that part, you can easily skip this chapter. I wrote it because her time training to become a SOA took so much time I want to finish it but neither do I want to just skip the rest of the part so I thought it deserved an ending (SPOILER, jk, it's not a spoiler), anyway I'm starting school soon too which means fewer updates...:( I know, lol. ANYWAY, enjoy! :D:D:D:D**

* * *

The days passed by quickly and I started to feel better too, without Charlie or Matt around a safe-haven emulated but at times I wondered where they were and if the two idiots were still going to hunt after me, for the present I avoided letting them dwell in my mind, I had Chris that was a different who's face appeared very often. As I had unofficially declared, despite my efforts not to fall for him, that I was actually crushing on him and from my perspective it was almost obvious. How I acted around was weirder as I knew I liked him and sometimes I believed he understood what was going on in my daydreams sorta like Chris could see through my head and into my min d where I frequently imagined us kissing, hugging, walking in London and holding hands. It was peculiar as well as special to have a crush on him, the feeling was unlike the one I had while crushing on Will Johnsson during my time in elementary-school and it had been the longest time I had ever liked a guy, not only was Chris much older than me but both of us worked within the same field. If we actually became a couple people would definitely consider I was with him to climb higher on my career-ladder and that I hoped to receive special treatment but the question remained, could even I see myself spending the rest of my life with Chris? I imagined us moving in together - maybe in the States as he was from there as well, the two of us getting married - what wouldn't grandma think of it, having children - wasn't I the girl who disliked toddlers?

"Sylvia." Kevin asked. "You awake?"

In spite of Charlie and Matt's disappearance Kevin had continued sharing the bedroom with me, he blamed on it the fact he slept better here since Damian snored so loudly though I knew it was a lousy excuse I granted him the permission and for all honestly I figured Chris perhaps had somewhat of crush on me and that he would be jealous of Kevin...imagine what he reckoned Kevin and I did together. Besides I had never had guy-friend and I had never been so close to a non-related male, the fact that we were sleeping in the same room was a huge deal for me and though I should be cautions with Kevin's intentions so far he had only shown the same compassion my old female friends showcased.

"Let me sleep a little more." I answered, my face buried in the pillow, the third week had been utterly hell and on the last days of the week I believed we had all together merely ten hours of sleep.

"I don't know if I want to get up, really, it's been hell of a week." Kevin said, lying on the bed opposite mine, he was staring on the celling.

"Don't tell me you're going to quit."

"I'm not, just I'm tired and I miss my family."

Wow, I haven't given my own family much thought ever since I arrived here but so much had occurred and it had been sustainable to keep it that way but I feared if not I should contact them when the education course was finished, were they still upset?

"Come on, we better get up." I muttered.

* * *

That very similar morning Marie updated us on where the course was heading and a little around what will happen after we had ended our "education". There were four crucial test left to complete and that the whole week was going to occupied with these four test and her final words were shocking, the superiors would have a meeting to conclude if the person was ready for becoming SOA.

We were refused to be informed of how they would decide because Tim had asked and Marie said that we simply should focus on passing the four tests. It was frighting so close we were to the end, despite Marie's words of horror, I knew the chance of me becoming an SOA was big enough though I was still lacking in the firearms area. Rama and Samir then explained that it was an opportunity for SOA:s to become specialized SOA:s just as they were but it required three years of working in the field and another education course but a longer one that took place during a year. It was a new offer the BSAA had and I never gave it much thought as the choice was so far away in the future.

"Are you thinking of taking that specialized course?" Kevin wondered while we were eating dinner on Monday, the first day was merely a re-run of all that we had learned and Marie had told us to rest well tonight as we needed it.

"I'm going to." Simon noted. "I think I'll choose the vehicle-thingy, you know."

"How did you know that there was something like that?" Tim asked.

"I asked Rama and Samir what options there were." Simon said. "I asked when you went to the loo."

"Oh, right."

"Are you going to choose the same?" I asked Tim.

"Nah, that's rubbish to me." He answered and his brother gave him a look of disapproval. "I want to be a captain like Chris."

"Yeah, that'd be neat but it takes years." Kevin said.

"Speaking of years, do you know how old he is.?" I asked since we were the only ones sitting on the table, Rama and Samir were lying on the couches far away so they wouldn't hear our conversation subject.

"I don't know, possibly in his forties." Simon guessed.

"He's not that old." Damian muttered and we all turned to him. "He is close to the forties but not there, maybe thirty-six."

"But he does look old." Tim said as the rest nodded in agreement, my heart sank a little, I didn't like how they were exaggerating how old he looked since it was bad enough there had to be more than fifteen years between us.

"What the hell do you want him to look like? He's been through hell for what I've heard, being tricked by his boss, losing his partner and constantly seeing people from his team die." Damian muttered.

The rest looked down in shame for speaking ill of him but I agreed with Damian despite believing Damian was a dick-head, Chris had had a tough life and it was something all of us could see ourselves go through hence we stood where Chris once stood. Later that night I had struggles falling asleep but after hearing Kevin's light snores I forced myself to stay in the same position, using the breathing-technique Sara always used the night before final exams.

BANG, someone hammered the door. "GET UP AND GET DRESSED!"

Without hesitation Kevin and I dressed with our backs facing each other and jogged to the main room where Tim, Simon and Damian already were.

"Go outside behind the shooting range, you'll see Patrick there." Marie said, sitting on the table reading the newspaper. We rushed outside, everyone jogging to Patrick, he was waiting for the group where the what I supposed was a weirdly shaped indoors-labyrinth.

Patrick held his hands behind him and with a serious gaze. "This is one of your four vital examinations. In this building," he said, pointing at the labyrinth, "are threats and puzzles you'll face and the idea is to reach the a certain door safely and quickly. There's no specific time to follow but the sooner you leave the place the better, you won't be carrying anything with you instead the supplies you possibly will need are inside. Understood?"

We nodded a little petrified of what was inside.

"And no this time there's no room for asking questions." Patrick remarked when Tim had raised his hand and defeated-looking Tim lowered his arm.

"First up, Adwell Damian." Patrick said and Damian stepped forward to enter the room. It wasn't possible to see what was inside as the door shout immediately after Damian went in. The four of us waited and waited. Patrick looked very autocratic, standing on the same spot and occasionally writing on a tablet he held. An hour went by and my stomach began grumble. What took Damian so long? I didn't dare to hope we would eat until everyone was finished, hungry and tired I saw down and Kevin followed my example, he seemed ill, perhaps from not having breakfast and the lack of sleep we had experienced last week. The exams scared us even if we were aware that there was no chance of getting killed, it gave a feeling of scare similar to the one I felt whenever I was going on a carousel mixed with the feeling of anxiety before an important exam. What felt like another hour passed by and no sign of breakfast showed itself, Tim and Simon sat down too but Patrick was now frantically writing on the tablet. It wasn't any social media he was on, it probably had something to do with the test.

"Hey." Someone shouted, the person was carrying a box. It was Jane and she dropped the box and gestured for us to take whatever was in it.

"Ohh, food." Tim muttered joyfully. There were bananas and apples in it and bottles of water.

"Careful, you wouldn't want to make yourself sick." Patrick said when Kevin had already finished his apple and was reaching for another.

"Why did they have to starve us?" Kevin muttered only loud enough for me to hear. I shrugged at his response and at a slow pace ate my banana.

When we all finished eating Patrick called for my turn. "Jones, Sylvia."

I got up, feeling a little more energized. The door opened and closed behind me, in front of me was a large hall with two staircases leading to the upper floor, a chandelier hung from the celling and it emulated a creepy feeling with the vast space that had lacked the usual furniture in it. I stepped forward, waiting for something to happen. Nothing. Again, I took a step but to the side instead. Nothing. So it was safe here at least. I decided to head for the open door and noticed the door lead to an office. What was this place?

There was a desk, chair, a bookshelf and two armchairs. I went through the desk and found untouched papers, I was searching for a weapon to use but the best there was a pen. I left the office and entered the room opposite it, it was the kitchen. Was this place a hotel as I viewed the kitchen that wasn't normally built for an apartment but a restaurant. The kitchen was awfully dirty but as I walked closer to the benches I saw spots of a brownish color...blood? It wasn't real, I told myself but was disgusted. I went through every cabin in the room but there were no knives, forks or even spoons.

Nothing at all, so I opened another door in the kitchen that lead to the dining area furnished with several round tables and chairs. The room could have been sophisticated if didn't look as if hooligans had run down the place, the covers on the tables were ripped and stained, the chairs broken and the chandelier in this room had fallen to the ground. How much didn't it cost for the BSAA to build this place and change it so often? Never mind that, I told myself and searched through the room. I was at the end of the room when a hand seized hold of my shoulder, my heart jumped.

"What the fuck?!" I shouted and saw it was a zombie. I pushed it away from me, it fell down and remained there.

"It can't be real." I took a deep breath and continued, so this was the surprises I would encounter. In the dining hall was two other doors, I picked the one near the piano and saw it was a music room with a piano as well and records, microphones, speakers and a radio near other door. I tried to open it but no luck, it was locked. A sign was nailed to the door and on it was written:

 **FEED ME WELL, SOMETHING FITTING, THINK WHERE YOU NOW ARE, I OPEN THEN, FEED ME NOT, FACE A THREAT, AGAIN UNTIL, UNLOCKED, IT WILL STOP**

"What...?" I was pissed and went to head back, I wasn't going to deal with a lame riddle but was scared when the other door had also been locked, great, so now I was imprisoned in this room. What did the sign mean by "feed me"? What did it want, possibly a key? I searched through the room but the room couldn't have been designed so I had to look through all the records, it had to be something more clever that unlocked the door but what?

Ok, what was special with this room? It was a prison, I thought, ok. What do you feed prisoners? Freedom? What was the sign of freedom? I thought of America and the bald eagle, so I should search for an eagle? Once more I looked through the records but there was no eagle to be found and even if I found an eagle how the hell would I feed it to the door? I went back to try and unlock the door then turned to the side where the radio stood, next to it was a record on it stood "EAGLES".

But of course, the band! I was in the music room! I played the radio and music erupted from the radio, it was odd hearing sounds due to the previous silence that existed. I attempted to push through the door but no luck, something from the celling fell down on the floor. A weird-looking frog that wasn't quite a frog quaked and jumped at me, I ducked away and it leaped again. The third time I kicked it and it stayed still. So if I played the wrong song another aggressive frog would try to attack me. I re-read the sign...something fitting, what the fuck? I played a song named "Hell Freezes Over" because this place felt like hell but it was wrong. Two frogs fell down and one managed to clutch onto my shoulder and I had to drag it off me whilst trying to kick the other one, after another fight I decided to wait and read the record too. What could this place be? A hotel was the first thing that came to my mind, I re-read the record and was happy to see there was a song called "Hotel California". It was correct! I bursted open the door and found myself inside a bedroom. On the bed was a handgun, I grabbed and ignored going through this room and saw I was in a corridor.

"Hmmmmm..." The sound came around the corner. I was freaked out and held up my handgun, the sound was inhuman as if the creature was hungry. Cold sweat from fear ran down my spine as I kept telling myself it wasn't real so I wouldn't die...I wouldn't die. The sound came closer and a reptile-alike figure with long claws crept closer, it was a hunter...a real life hunter. Was this legal, could they really force us facing the BOW:s in reality? I held up my handgun as it scratched the wall with its claws and shoot the hunter, it dropped yet a bullet hadn't been the thing that killed it, no blood formed around the hunter. I walked slowly closer and realized it had to be fake; it was an robot-like hunter and I continued with in relief. The corridor led to backyard, there was nothing there but before I could enter another room crows emerged from the rooftop and croaked at me, attacking me with their pointy beaks, I ran to take cover under a parasol, swiftly took up my weapon and managed to shoot three of them, I ran away again but tried shooting at them once more, one fell down and again I sprinted from them, shooting and lastly all of them were down.

I bursted through the door again and was shocked to see several zombies, I knew I couldn't fight all of them off so I ducked from their hands reaching for me and luckily the next opening wasn't locked. This room was another bedroom and on the wall, incrusted was a shotgun. I attempted to break the glass but no luck, under the secured gun was a electric lock with numbers, but no riddle. I viewed the shotgun closely and was glad to see there was a number on it, I pressed the numbers, one, five, six and the glass unsealed, I seized the shotgun and placed the handgun in the back-pocket of my pants. I checked the new weapon, it was real unlike the handgun as it was real, did this mean I actually would meet real BOW? Frighten but anxious to leave the place I carried on, on my way I meet more hunters and the first one I tried to shoot with my shotgun but it was dumb of me as the hunter was a robot. Another hunter appeared and I shoot it with the handgun, during one of the corridors I was constantly attacked by robot-zombies whilst picking a lock open with bobby-pins I had picked up from a bedroom. Rama had told us bobby pins always worked wonderfully for interlacing looks. After a long and tiring period of fighting I arrived at the hallroom.

An mutated human body stood waiting for me, it sensed me coming and turned around. The body had an enlarged, thick arm with a horrifying eye attached to it and the skin had disappeared and only the flesh was visible, blood dripped from the body. It looked awfully real. I stood at the staircases and shoot at it with the handgun for ages but it lazily made its way towards me. I ran down when it had climbed the stairs. I tried to push the door open but it refused let me out. The creature had jumped down, I used my shotgun and it was stuck back by the blow. I had three bullets left in it, it wouldn't die on three bullets I knew that. I looked around for another way out, trying to open the doors but nothing wanted to open. Lastly I searched for more weapons but none were found. I began to panic and threw the handgun very hard on the creature, another stupid choice from me since it stepped on the gun, crushing it. My whole shirt was covered in cold sweat mixed with the sweat from running around. I found myself standing at the stairs and saw the chandelier, the creature was exactly under it and without doubting I shoot the chain that held up the chandelier, the creature was smashed by the heavy object. Finally, I breathed, finally. I walked downstairs and saw a door under the stairs had opened.

Chris, Rama and Samir were waiting outside.

"Good job, Sylvia. You've passed, go and eat something then Marie can tend to you. I'll speak with you about the test later, okay?" Rama said, Samir gave me a thumbs up and Chris, well, unusually, he blinked at me. Suddenly I forgot the test as if it hadn't occurred at all and I was in a haze of happiness.

* * *

"That was utterly, completely and fucking horrible." Kevin said, he was seated beside me on my bed. I didn't know how to comfort him, this wasn't something I usually did it was more like I was the one who needed comforting. It had taken him the longest time to complete the test, he couldn't figure out that he had to shoot down the chandelier so Patrick had to interfere.

"I'm a fucking idiot." Were guys really this low when it came to their confidence, I always remembered them being overly confident and secure, but then again guys didn't tend to show their 'soft' sides as often as girls did. I felt sorry for him but was annoyed that he was so beaten down, I had to bring him dinner because he was too ashamed to eat in front of the others.

"Kevin, everyone has to screw up sometimes, it was only about time." I said and gave him a pat on the back.

"You don't get it, we have to pass the damn test, do you have any idea how embarrassing it was when Patrick unlocked the doors and all of you stood there staring at me like I was a fucking moron."

"You're not a moron and yes, I know how embarrassing it can be." Kevin removed his hand from his face, he wasn't crying but it seemed that any minute he would tear up.

"Whatever, I just want to forgot this." He walked towards the door.

"Aren't you going to sleep here?" I wondered.

"No. Good night." He said and closed the door behind him. If he was angry with me I couldn't care less, I didn't do anything wrong. I changed into pajamas and fell asleep trying to rid my mind of Kevin, Chris and every other person that appeared.

The next morning was spent with another workout with Chris that took the whole mid-morning and it wasn't until lunch we could eat again, Kevin seemed to have forgotten he had acted rudely and chatted gladly with me, I believed it had something to do with whatever made the laughs from the guy's bedroom higher and higher last night. After lunch it was our first free-time and I wanted to practice shooting, Kevin accompanied me as he knew I behaved cooly towards him for a reason. He helped me and cheered several times, I managed to practice a good hour before we were called again to the main room.

"I hoped you have enjoyed your free time because now is the time for..." Marie said and we muttered after her, "...the second test."

"I want Tim and Sylvia in as the first group and the others as the second group." She waited for us to stand next to our divvied group-members.

"There's going to be exercises you have to preform and in this task you will have a certain amount of time. After completing the exercises you report back here to switch groups and go through a new trials. Are you ready? Good, on three you'll head outside to the shooting range for the first job, remember this is a group exercise you can't leave anyone behind. All right, one, two, three!"

Tim and I were the first ones who reached the shooting range where Patrick was standing, he pointed at the segments put on a blanket, it was weapons that had been broken into pieces. Neither Tim or I spoke as we understood what to do, gleaning together the pieces was easy for me. Firstly I had to implant the recoil spring guide into the spring guide, then inserted the lower part of the slide in the barrel and attach the recoil spring and its guide to the bottom of the slide as well as the barrel. The next part was to gather the top part to the upper frame, eventually putting in the magazine. I started on the next gun and was finished with that as well, I had to help Tim with his second weapon as he wasn't finished, the other group had finished before us and ran towards the lake.

"Did we finish on time?" I asked Patrick and he nodded. Tim and I followed the other group.

Jane was standing there with a diver's equipment and tablets. Simon and Damian were already changing into the diver's outfit and Tim decided he should be the one in the water, I agreed and Jane gave me tablet, it showcased a form of map in the water and a red dot that represented Tim, other green dots were located in the water. Jane explained that the ones diving had earpieces that was for communication and the tablet-users had to guide their partners through to the green dots.

"You'll start on the count of three. Ready, one, two, three!"

There was a splash and it began. Tim understood me easily and within ten minutes or so we were done before the other group. Jane informed us to head to Marie inside. We sprinted, thinking we were yet being timed, Tim was still wet but he didn't mind that.

Marie had drawn squares on a huge paper that had the names of supplies written on them and next to the paper were the supplies themselves. We had to place them correctly on their given names since I had the best memory this task took the least amount of time but Marie had more tasks for us, some of them were slightly odd and reminded me of those group exercises we did in school for creating better groups.

At first I thought this was rather easy, maybe the diving part had been rough on Tim but the rest was actually fun until I realized they were forcing to go through the rounds several times, sometimes changing between the groups. At times we had new tasks to perform such as when Jane said, I had to tied down whilst having to direct Tim in trying to break open the box where the key to the chains was in, I had the instructions in front of me and was forced to tell Tim what to do. The day continued with us running between the shooting range, the lake and the main room, it wasn't till midnight we were finished and were allowed resting and food. All of us were too exhausted by having to communicate in the most odd ways so no one spoke during dinner and headed for the bed the moment we were finished, Kevin went back to sleep in the same room as me and luckily I fell asleep without trouble.

* * *

The next part commanded for our leadership skills, Wednesday was a normal day with lessons and training but on Thursday was the actual examination as Patrick always called it. There was no longer the opportunity to divide us into smaller group instead each person was able to operate as a leader, first up was Damian. His duty was to guide the group through the very terrain landscape and Kevin had to pretend to be wounded, Damian was the one who handed out orders and told us where to go, he always had to check before which way to pick amongst the options presented on the map so he and whoever of Simon, Tim and I that did not carry Kevin had to run ahead to check if the path was safe. I had to admit Damian remained calm despite making several mistakes but it did take him more time than expected and everyone was strained from having to carry Kevin.

Mine turn was after, it was similar to Damian but every person had a specific job that I had to give to, I made Kevin the medic, Tim the gun specialist, Damian the communicator and Simon was in charge of clearing paths and looking out for the group's backs. I was upset since this was harder than what Damian had to do, Marie and the others knew who I made in charge of what but instead of Tim facing any BOW he had stumbled upon a wounded civilian (probably another robot), Damian had to fight off the frogs I had encountered during the first test, we were also stuck from controlling the path and Simon's transceiver was the only one that worked. The whole scenery was chaos and I had to run every problem and help them, my time being the leader took far more tim than Damian's. I had always been mindful about my many lacking leadership-traits.

When it was Tim's turn, he had to communicate with all of us with the earpieces and helped us run through the forest to find certain items, we were tracked on the tablet Tim held onto, I understood his orders better than the others and was the first to finish, so I was a better follower than leader. The day ended with Kevin being the fastest one to lead and the time was way past midnight when we could finally eat dinner, though tonight we were full on adrenalin from completing our third test and Tim had convinced Rama to sneak him snacks so Tim invited us all to the guy's dormitory for a "party".

"This is a stupid idea," I uttered to Kevin as we knocked on the door, both of us changed into pajamas and apparently the rest of the boys had too.

"Come in, lads. There's drinks under the bed at the right." Tim muttered, nodding to where Simon was sitting, he handed us soda as we sat on the bed next to Damian.

"It's crazy we've survived this long, right?" Kevin said and once more I was reminded that I was the only girl, why did I agree on going with Kevin?

"You know what, I'm not really in the mood..." I started but Tim refused to let me go.

"You wouldn't want to miss this." He remarked and blocked the door.

"Uhm, yes, I do?"

"Leave her, she needs something more of a substances like she has to gain something from it." Kevin said, eating a handful of peanuts.

"Well, don't you know stuff about the BSAA, Kevin? Let's talk about the BSAA, that's work-related so you have to stay." Tim said.

I sat down, waiting for nonsense to spill out of Kevin, whatever he knew was something everyone else knew and I was too tired to argue.

"Okay, so Sylvia know I had a friend who has even worked with Chris."

"I love Chris, I'm not gay but if he would ever want..." Simon started and Tim grimaced at his brother. Simon was so lost in his mind that Damian and Kevin laughed but Tim was uncanny from hearing his brother talk about Chris in a sex-related subject.

"I didn't know this was stuff guys talked about." I remarked, grinning.

"We talk about everything." Kevin said, reaching for the chocolate. "One time in eight grade I had a sleepover and my friends and I compared penises."

The room erupted in laughter and Kevin grinned as well, not embarrassed at all.

"I thought we were supposed to discuss something else?" Damian pointed out.

"Right, so I met him through a mutual friend and the lad is quite weird to be honest."

"Why?" I inquired.

"He is super into his work, like he's overly obsessed."

"Or just passionate." I said.

"Yeah," Kevin said. "well, you can be happy about the paycheck at least because we get paid a lot."

"How much?" Damian inquired. "A doctor's salary or a teacher's salary?"

"Teacher's don't get enough paid to buy the amount of alcohol needed to delete their memories from their dumbass students, how's that comparable to 'a lot'?" Simon asked.

"ANYWAY," Kevin said, annoyed. "I don't know how much just that it's a lot more than anywhere else if you're a bio-terroist solider."

"What's the first thing you're gonna buy?" Tim asked us.

"A car." Kevin said. Damian stayed quiet and Simon mentioned a flat.

"I have no idea." I said as they glared at me. "Probably good food since that's something I haven't had for a while." They laughed at my answer.

"I like you, Sylvia. You're so laid-back." Tim said, still laughing. I made a weird smile and felt heart-warmed as if I was one of the group, I belonged here. The chatting continued with occasional jokes and when our laughing was too loud Damian shushed us, I was enjoying myself and even noticed I started to like Damian too. Tim insisted we had a competition of who was the strongest and forced Kevin to join.

"I'm too full," he said, rubbing his belly. Tim shook his head so Kevin got up on his feet and Tim told each one they had to pick up Tim and Simon at the same time, Damian failed and Kevin managed to hold both of them up barely a second.

"I can't!" I protested.

"Come one, Sylvia, don't be dull."

Everyone egged on me and I felt the pressure, after declining Tim picked me up instead and spun me around whilst carrying me then threw me on the bed. I fell down on the floor and everyone laughed, I joined too even if I was upset that Tim had done it without asking. My mood start to swift from being good to slightly irritated.

"Kevin, I know why you like her now!" Tim shouted and suddenly the room went awfully quiet, Kevin's face was tomato-red. He _liked me? ME?_ No wonder he was so nice, no surprise at all, so typical of guys! I rushed through the door into my bedroom and closed it. Why the hell did Tim have to say that?

* * *

The morning after was too awkward, Kevin turned red when he saw me and I saw Tim grabbed hold of his sleeve before he could run away. I ignored it, it was for the better. The whole thing would be soon over, I thought. The breakfast was eaten in silence till Marie arrived with Chris.

"Good morning." She said and sat down. "Damian, please can you follow Chris for the final test?"

Scared, he elevated and followed Chris. I watched them leave and acknowledged that Chris actually had a nice and firm butt.

"How's breakfast, Sylvia?" Marie asked and ashamed I turned to her. Hopefully nobody noticed me staring.

"Good." I responded, taking another bite of the dry bread.

"Well, I better leave, I'll be back when it's your turn."

She left the room and I didn't want to be alone but couldn't leave in case Marie came back within minutes. Tim, Simon and Kevin decided to sit on the couches, playing cards Tim had brought. I watched them, bored, from the dining table. A lot of minutes passed by and merely Jane arrived to pick up something from the basement-door and when she departed Kevin walked towards me.

"Hey." He muttered, a feeling of guilt erupted as I saw how gloomy he looked but it wasn't my fault Tim had a big mouth nor that Kevin liked me, goodness, it was weird to have someone admitting they liked me. This never happened to me.

"How you holding up?" I wanted to remain professional, too many ridiculous things had taken place and I wasn't letting another thing happen again and in addition to that hopefully Kevin would get tired of me and start to crush on someone else?

"Tired, that's all. I can't wait till we're done."

I nodded, having problem keeping eye contact with him. "It's almost over."

"Sylvia, what the idiot Tim said, ignore it. I'm perfectly fine with just...you know, ignore it."

"You're right, let's just ignore it for now. This is a matter we can discuss later."

Kevin nodded and smiled but the gloominess still hanged over him like a cloud, this course was taking its tolls on him. "Wanna join us for cards?"

"No, need to keep my focus."

"Right...you're probably up next."

I was right as Marie reported back and waved at me. I went to her and to my disappointment Chris wasn't here, she unlocked a the door to a room I never had visited. An unknown face was sitting there.

"Hello." A brown-haired woman said. "Take your seat."

I did as she ordered me, she sounded highly confident, the woman raised up from the chair and placed files on my lap.

"These files will explain your mission, you will not tell any living soul about it, you must make it through without any help and you have to be back within twenty-four hours."

I stayed in my seat, where were the Marie, Chris, Rama, Samir and the rest?

"What are you waiting for?"

"Is this all?"

The woman nodded slowly. I arose, determined to pass through the final part.

 _Just one more day and you can finally call yourself an SOA, just one more day..._

* * *

 _You have been chosen to deliver an important item shielded in a box, if you do not manage to arrive in time your teammates will have difficulties coming back. The box is safely packed in your bag, you have all the necessities to survive, the rest is up to you._

The sentence was very cheesy but I think who wrote it wanted us - the person taking the test - to understand the importance of the mission and it did have an effort as this could easily have been something I would have to do as an SOA. My first job was to pass through the lake, the usual boats waited for me near the narrow pier. I threw my bag on one of the boats and began to row, the whole boat-journey took a while and my arms were cramped when I finally arrived at the other side. I stretched for a while, used a piece of the rope to attach the boat to a tree. I passed through the forest, I was more confident with reading the map and searched for the place that was painted with a red cross on the map. Twenty-four hours was nothing but obviously there was a catch and I was merely expecting a BOW to turn up anywhere or something I had to fight off but the sun was starting to set down when I got to my location, a large stone was the place. I put down the box, waited for something to happen, for any grateful teammates to turn up but fortunately the hook with the mission had yet to appear. I turned around, heading back when on the spur of the moment three masked men jumped down from the trees.

"Put your hands on your head!" One shouted, I refused and ran back to the stone but more of them appeared behind it, a hooded-figure seized my arms and tied them.

Panic settled in unlike any I had felt before, could this be the doings of Charlie and Matt?

"HELP!" I screamed, my voice echoed. "SOMEONE HELP ME!" I cried and cried but it was all in vain.

"Stupid girl. SHUT UP!"

I attempted to break free but alas, they pushed me to a road nearby where a van was, I was thrown in the back and the car drove away. This couldn't possibly be any part of the test? I continued to scream and shout, even banging on the door of the van but the masked men in the front merely raised the volume of the radio so my screams were over listed. The drive didn't take too long and someone grabbed hold of me, covered my head with a sack so I couldn't see anything then I felt pressure on my ears, the person had put headphones on me. It was difficult to navigate myself and I managed walking forward but hit myself on a metal-pole, someone knew it would take time if I had to walk without a guide therefore a person pulled me, I felt the wind disappear and understood I was inside. The headphones and sack were taken off and I was looked at the face of a man that had so rough lines I thought it was a mask he was wearing, his face was severely scared and wrinkled.

"Identify yourself." The man said in the deepest, most rough voice I heard.

"Identify yourself." He repeated and I stayed quiet.

"IDENTIFY YOURSELF!" Spit hit my face and I was shaking but one of the rules was to keep my mouth closed and telling the man my name would be giving him vital information and it would be stupider to give him a false one, maybe he or his team captured the Kevin, Simon, Tim or Damian and one of the guys would reveal my name.

The man shouted once more but no words left my mouth, I was ready for him to punch me or push me, anything violent but nothing, he glared at me. I suddenly realized if this had been a real kidnapping he would have already hit me several times, when Charlie and Matt attacked me they didn't bother to keep me unharmed. The woman I had meet a few hours again flashed through my mind and I remembered her voice saying " _you will not tell any living soul about it",_ sothis was planned by the superiors - it was the final task as the woman must have been aware that I would be kidnapped.

"Sylvia Jones." I said lastly.

"Finally. You have entered the last phase and you'll only see me again when you have finished. The part you'll face right now is a copy of what a real kidnapping could look like. There will be extreme stress, anxiety, fatigue that you will experience and if you ever feel as you cannot continue just spit it out, there is no shame in it. Understood?"

I nodded.

"All right."

The door behind me opened, the sack and the headphones were put back on me by masked men and I was tugged roughly into what I assumed was the captivity room. The men pushed me so I fell down.

"No need to be harsh." I muttered sarcastically.

"Sylvia?" It was Damian.

The door was pushed open. "NO TALKING!" Whoever said it gripped me, I shivered from his ferocious hands, and pulled me to sit in a kneeled position and I heard Damian was also forced into an awkward seat. We stayed quiet after he left the room. I sat down normally but the man came back and forced me back into the previous way I was in.

An hour...two hours...three hours? I had a horrible sense of time because it was extremely boring, the only part that alerted me into a watchful mood was when the door was opened and on the tenth time (I had counted the times) Tim had probably arrived. He didn't say anything nor did I or Damian, it was better to stay quiet. Simon arrived shortly after his brother, he wondered if someone else was there and we all responded. Another guard compelled us to sit in horrible positions, Tim tried talking again but from the noise of it he had to sit in a more horrible position. Kevin turned up at least five hours after the brothers, he was also quiet. I couldn't believe I had managed to stay like this despite my stomach growling, my knees dunking with pain and my mind was in distress - it shifted from revolving around Chris to grandma, to my uncles, to Charlie and Matt and back to my earliest memories of my father, at one point I fell asleep but was awoken by loud music playing. The rest of the day must have passed until Damian was taken out of the room, I was so bored and distress the only reasonable thing to do was count how long he was gone, it was twelve minutes and nineteen seconds. I was next in line, my legs were to weak to walk so I was carried by strong arms and then dropped on a chair, I felt something metal-hard in front of me and when the sack and headphones were removed I saw it was a table.

An old woman was sitting in front of me, staring at me. "Hello, Sylvia."

"Not very talkative, are you?" She said whilst I simply glared back at her. "That's not a problem, I'm very good at reading people and from the look of you...I see you're nervous and maybe doubtful? Yes, that's doubt in your eyes."

This was the interrogation phase, she was going to try and force me to tell her things about my mission, I thought of Samir's questioning from Monday and the memory of it felt like it had happened years ago.

"Tell me, what were you doing in the forest?"

It was better to speak so the interrogation would end fast. "Just hiking."

"Liar." The woman leaned forward. "You're lying."

"I don't lie."

"Liar, you just did it, everyone lies."

"I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't."

"Fine, you're trying to be stubborn, be that. But let me ask you, what did the paper in your bag mean?"

"Which paper?"

"The one where you had to deliver some important item, what was in it?"

"I haven't got a clue."

"You're trying to keep calm but I know you're lying, I know you're hiding something."

"I am always this calm."

"Never mind that, let's discuss something else. Tell me about your family."

"I..." Should I tell her a little, just to please her? It couldn't be giving out too much information if I merely told her how many relatives I had? It would be impossible for her to locate them if she only had the number of family members and not the exact names. There were many "Jones" in the States.

"I have a grandma, two uncles and a mother."

"Why did you mention your mother last?"

"I..."

"See, you're so easy to break down, exactly like the rest."

She was aiming for the private part of my life which was smart but I had to keep up my emotionless shield although the mention of my family always tore me apart, furthermore it was visible, because of how complicated subject was for me.

"I can be nice if you give me what I want." The women placed her knuckle under her chin, her eyes were so piercing. "I can let you go if you tell what you were doing in the forest."

"I told you I was hiking."

"How stupid to say that. How come you were hiking whilst carrying a paper that said you were delivering an item and that my men told me you left a box exactly where the map had wanted you to."

I was quiet, thinking of a lie...then I had it and smiled triumphantly.

"I'm a fan of these books that my friend have been writing and was pretending I was the main characters, like cosplaying you know, so my friend wrote the paper and handed me the map for fun."

"That sounds like a bad lie."

My smile faded. "It's not a lie."

"All right, who's your friend?"

"Kevin."

She glared at me. It was a bad idea to use his name but it was the spur of the moment.

"I noticed you have avoided the words 'yes' and 'no'. Why?"

"Just happens."

"Liar. I'm tired of your lies. GUARDS!"

I stared at her till the guard arrived to put the sack and ear-dampers back on me. The remaining hours were spent by listening to how Kevin, Tim and Simon were taken by guards and brought back. Occasionally music was played and each time it came like a shock, sending cold sweat down my spine and sometimes I heard soft cries from the others. I was on the verge of crying but reminded myself it was soon over. After what felt like the whole night had passed the guards lifted the sacks just a little for us to eat and sip on water, if this kidnapping had been real one of us would have eventually starved to death.

I began to freak out, thinking of all the horrible scenarios that could happen during missions, I could become a BOW myself, a test subject used by bio-terrorists, eaten alive and worse things erupted in my mind. Sometimes I found myself hallucinating and during one of them I thought I was in bed with Chris and from nowhere he had suddenly kicked me out of bed until another burst of music awoke me and I started to remember how horrible my teens were, how awful I felt when my father died, all of these memories and feelings came back. Lastly I couldn't resist the tears and cried. My breathing became abnormal and I was taken by the guards.

It was the same room and same person but this time Kevin sat next to me.

"I felt we needed to be a bigger group. So do you know each other?" I looked at Kevin, trying to make out if he had been questioned about me but his gaze was at the woman. I waited for him to say anything.

"Ok, since none of you are willing to speak I can tell you, Sylvia, that Kevin here said you didn't know each other but you said you knew Kevin."

"It's another Kevin."

"If that is so can you tell me why he carried the exact type of paper and supplies with him and carried the identical bag?"

"Coincidence."

"I know you're a clever girl so why don't you just admit that you two recognize each other."

"Fine." Kevin uttered lastly. "I admit to having lied. I did it to protect myself." So Kevin was pretending to be someone he's not? I knew for a fact he also cared about my protection, he must have gotten it from one of lessons with Rama and Samir - one rule to choose if being kidnapped was to play a role that could get you out of the situation and Kevin was trying to be selfish.

"Sylvia?"

I stayed quiet.

"I can stay here all night."

"He's right."

"Very well. GUARDS!"

We had failed, I mused as I was dragged back into the room, we failed. We weren't supposed to give up so quickly and it was only a wonder till Simon, Tim and Damian would reveal something too vital. The brothers were questioned together and Damian with Kevin, for a reason I hadn't been picked. I was anxious for this to finally end, maybe we had to break out? Seconds, minutes, hours continued with the group being stuck in the room blind-folded and unable to hear properly. The random music had stopped playing which meant minutes for me to sleep, during one of the naps I was dragged out the room to meet the woman again and the same questioning occurred, she offered to released me but I told her nothing despite that the offer felt tempting I refused. After listening to how the rest of the group were taken for interrogation we all were pulled out and the sacks taken off. The light was so strong I squinted my eyes, I removed the headphones and saw the man who had asked for my identity.

"Congratulation, you've passed the final part."

Unwillingly, I cried out of relief, joy, from the weariness, the tiredness. I was at peace...it was over.

* * *

 **REVIEWS? PLEASE :) I was wondering...I haven't really described what Sylvia looks like, how do you perceive her in your mind? Lemme know? Also, if for a reason you can't review the chapter just send a message, it's totally cool whichever you pick. ^_^**


	13. Under the Dark Sky

I pressed my hands against each other and then ran my fingers up and down the palm of my hands, eyes closed to appreciate the gentle wind breezing my skin. It was over, at last. We were going to celebrate the last evening and I had woken up early for a walk around the area, this place would forever be a special one as I faced so many difficulties and it had always been a thing of mine to try and take in an environment I apprehended that I wasn't going to visit for a long period of time or at all. From being so busy with surviving, toughing myself up, remaining strong despite the attack, making friends and starting to favour a person in a way I never had before never allowed me a moment of realizing how beautiful the nature here was, even during winter.

The trees posed high and mighty with their exposed branches, some were green and others not, the colors brown and green mixed a lovely picture with the sky's dull, grey-blue color. All of a sudden something wet dropped on my cheek and within mere seconds rain was pouring, drenching me but I couldn't care less about getting soaked, I simply stood there and tried to understand how different everything was going to be now.

Every single one of us had been passed the whole education course, our results had been compared when we received them by the superiors and I had earned the lowest score all together, it was embarrassing that Chris had seen the points but then I saw that I had the highest scores on the first task and that he had blinked at me after leaving the specially built drill room that day.

Kevin was the second-best and he wanted to be alone for a while because of it but I thought he was acting silly, he could have almost not passed so why weep over being the second best? Damian was the one with highest scores yet he wasn't boastful about it to which I admired him for, whenever my old friend Sara got an A she always compared our tests merely for her to brag and not to check if she had the right answers as Sara claimed.

When I felt the coldness overdo and the goosebumps I headed back inside for a warm shower, there was going to be a little party at seven but before that we could call our family and friends. I didn't yet have to courage to call nor grandma or my uncles and didn't want to ruin the good state I was in so I stayed in my room, reading a very interesting book and still I fell asleep after a few minutes of reading.

"Sylvia, wake up." Hands swayed me amiably, I sealed open my eyelids and saw Kevin. "Come on, the party's just started."

I yawned. "You look nice." Kevin wore a blue shirt with a pair of black jeans, he had also used gel for his blonde hair to push it back. He grinned, trying to fix his bangs back but realizing there was no hair at the front.

"Oh, right," he said.

I got up on my feet and searched through my bag to see if I had brought something nice since I wouldn't want to be the only one who didn't dress up. After unpacking everything unkempt I found a nice, clean peach-colored cardigan to wear under my white top. I took my hair-brush and tried using my phone as a mirror.

"Leave it. Your hair looks nice that way, untidy like you've just waken up." Kevin said, staring at me. I blushed, it was the first compliment I had from a boy in years and being complimented on my appearance wasn't a frequent occurrence.

"Eh, ok. Let's go." We walked to the main room and I had a feeling Kevin was hoping for a sign from me the way he acted, anything that ignited the fact I shared his feelings.

The main room was decorated with balloons, CONGRATULATIONS-banners, a neatly set long table where every were already seated and I got to sit at the end of the table next to Kevin and across Patrick who looked at this was the last place he wanted to be at. There was food to pick from and from the looks of it the food was catered and thankfully not the same we had gotten earlier, the wine glasses had been filled and Rama was gesturing if he should pure some for me, I politely declined, the first and last time I drank wine was at my graduation party and I disliked the sour taste of it.

"Now that you are all here, I want to start with a thank you to my colleagues for making the job easier...it has been a rough month," Marie said, looking at me. "But you've all passed with good margins and tomorrow morning, quite early, a bus will be here to take you back home so don't drink too much." She winked which didn't leave a good impression, it wasn't her thing to be funny. "You're also going to receive the papers for when you'll start working and etc but that'll just bore you so we can discuss that tomorrow morning. Well, that's it, dig in!"

"Cheers!" Rama and Samir shouted together and the rest of us said the same.

The food was delicious, I ate too much at first and had to wait before eating my third portion, normally girls didn't eat that much in front of others but I honestly couldn't care less. I yearned for coming home and cooking dinner for myself, I loved making dinner, breakfast, lunch, anything really. Everyone drank expect Patrick and I, he even excused himself after the first few minutes and departed but the rest were joyful and to the point of drunk, Jane had gotten red patches across her face and Marie was constantly giggling. The whole scenery was odd.

"You're sure you don't want me to pour some wine, not even a taste, it's really one of the best wines I've tasted!" Kevin said, his face too close to mine and I could smell the alcohol.

"I'm a hundred procreant sure." He tried pouring some in my glass but I pulled it away and he spilled wine on the cloth which made him giggle.

"You're an idiot, Kevin." Tim screamed, he was sitting between Rama and Samir where Chris earlier sat, shocked I realized he must have left the room.

Overall, the party was fun and despite my uneasy feeling, seeing everyone embarrass themselves or mostly all of them did embarrass themselves, Marie still kept a clear face. I felt better about leaving the place and I didn't know if it was the atompshore, the good mood or the tasty dinner (I had a belly that started to pouch a little) but I was smiling all the time and laughing at Tim's jokes and Kevin acting stupidly.

Yet I kept glancing over at the doors leading to the lake, Chris hadn't come back and I wondered if he was staying outside for the whole night. I was hoping for some time to talk with him, after all the chance of meeting him again was minor. When Tim and Simon began to sing and forced the rest to join in I left the table. It was the first time for me to take the step of actually speaking with a guy I liked and honestly it was about time. I wanted to experience what usual twenty-year olds often bragged about before becoming quitted to work even if the guy I was aiming for wasn't exactly the right type for me but that was a concern I ignored.

The night was chilly and I only wore my cardigan that didn't warm me but in chance of missing Chris I went down to the lake, he was sitting down on the pier with a cigarette in his hand. He was a smoker?

"Mind if I sit down?" I asked and he turned to me, his eyes seemed tame as if he was about to doze off and his posture faint.

"Don't mind if you do." He said, setting his gaze at the river.

Chris was only wearing a t-shirt in spite of the cold. "Aren't you freezing?" I asked him.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?"

"Why, because you're the guy? I tend to avoid falling for stupid rules like that."

"And any rules at all."

"What do you mean?"

He smiled so his teeth were showing and it was so irresistibly cute I had to look away. "Nothing."

"Why did you come to sit here?"

"And why did you accompany me?" He inquired cheeky.

I was taken aback. "I...eh...felt that I needed fresh air."

"Well, I'll have to put this one out." Chris waved the hand he was holding the cigarette.

"No, no, I don't care." But I did, the smell was awful yet I didn't want to give him a reason to leave.

"Fine," he grabbed onto something next to him and I saw it was a wine bottle he was drinking out of. "Sorry, where's my manners? Do you want some?"

I shook my head, Chris was clearly drunk and this wasn't the state I wanted him to be in when I spent time with him. What the hell was I thinking? I have no idea how these things works, what should I even talk about with him? I got up on my feet to leave feeling something awkward would happen if I remained here.

"No, don't go." Chris pouted with his lips and tugged at my pants. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to act like a douchbag."

I saw down, hoping there was a part of Chris that wasn't completely wasted. We stared at the water for a while, him smoking but no longer taking sips from the bottle.

"What's it like being an SOA?" I finally asked.

"Hasn't all this been enough to get an understanding?"

"Yeah but still...it's still not the real thing, is it?"

He closed his eyes, slowly nodding. "It's not really something you can easily explain." He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed and his profile was perfectly symmetrical I noticed.

"Mhm, okay, I'll have to wait."

"Where are you from?" He asked, opening his eyes.

"The States."

"I can hear that," he referred to my accent. "But which state?"

"A small town in Virginia." I appreciated the fact he was giving me attention, maybe it showed that he did like me? And he wanted me to stay too...

"I'm also a small-town guy. But I've traveled a lot of places because of work."

"And home is still the best place?" I wondered.

"No, that's the thing, after being away so many times it's hard to find a place to call home." His eyes meet mine. "There's a little insight to what it feels like." I wasn't sure if he was referring to what it felt like to be an SOA or that was how he felt.

"Where do you live now?"

Chris let out a laugh. "You're curious."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No...just cute." I smiled and blushed, luckily he couldn't see my red cheeks. Was this really happening? Was a guy _I_ liked calling me cute? I pinched myself, trying to remember exactly every detail of this night.

"Anyway, I change between London and New York."

"Which one do you think is better?"

"It's all the same to me, the apartment in London isn't actually mine it was my-" He stopped mid-sentence and I noticed glimpses of his eyes as he turned away, they were almost watery.

"Chris?" I wondered. He looked at me, tilting forward. I felt my body temperature rise from being so close, I could see every single detail of his face, he hadn't shaved as I noticed the small grown hairs.

"Yeah...?" He said in a husky voice. I shuddered but not from the cold.

Suddenly Chris's lips touched mine.

 _This isn't a dream,_ I reminded myself.

I kissed him back, enjoying his smooth lips gently pushing onto mine, he pressed his body towards mine and placed his strong arms around my waist, his hands stroking my back. He kissed me more fiercely and I was in fog of satisfaction. I finally understood why couples couldn't stop kissing each other, it felt so wonderfully good both on the inside and outside. I gracefully graced his cheeks, touching his stubble. I had no idea for long we stayed like this but it felt as if we couldn't quit kissing in the dark night.

* * *

 **Well, that was a surprise...haha :) I felt we needed some romantic action to say...I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and that you will review...? Please? :D**


	14. Partner

**From now on, Sylvia is an SOU, I was wrong earlier and SOA are what Chris and Jill work as, their ranks are higher so first when working for the BSAA you're a SOU.** **Okie, ENJOY!**

* * *

My apartment had turned into a haven for soil during the month away and it was obscure, my home was full of dust and dirt but I had no will to clean it when I arrived home so I postponed the cleanup for days. One morning afternoon having squandered the day with gloating at British TV a bug crawled on top of my hand, a very large one too and I straightaway jumped up to begin dusting, sweeping, vacuuming and washing. Under the course of the first week not much occurred except the fact I had to do a little grocery shopping, buy a gym-membership card from the place close to the apartment, more cleaning and I gloated even more at the TV to watch boring shows because I wasn't on call until the middle of March. London was amazing city, I heard but not when I was worried and shaken by how things were for my family, I managed to find excuses to not call everyday and that's when I turned to think about other things so the time passed as the thoughts inverted on Chris. I was so intensely attached to him after our kiss - but it felt as the kiss didn't matter as much to him. We had quietly gone back up the facility for sleep, the lights were out and the others had went to the dormitories and I waited for Chris to say something but he merely locked the doors without a good night. The next day Chris didn't drive us back to out apartments, according to Tim he had to rush to HQ for work but he had left me a note where it stood that Marie handed me: _"We'll talk when I'm back."_ But I wasn't going to see him for another month! Kevin was the only thing that kept my cheers up, he gave me his phone number and forced me to promise that I would call him which I did one Tuesday evening.

"Hey." I said as I held the phone pressed against my ear. "It's Sylvia."

Kevin yawned on the other side. "Mm, hi."

"Were you sleeping?"

"Just took a nap. How are you?"

"Bored out of my mind."

"And you're in London?"

"Yeah, but I don't really have anything to do or anyone to hang out with."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"God, no. You don't have to."

Kevin lived five hours away in a dump-hole of a town, he had mentioned.

"Then let's talk. When are you going in?"

"Two weeks from now. You?"

"Same, we're gonna work together!"

"That's unfortunate." I grinned.

"Oh, so now you have a sense of humor?" The joke didn't offend him, he was merely joking, I could hear it.

"Kevin, I've always had a sense a humor, just haven't shown it yet."

"And you had to to prove it by insulting me?"

"It was a spur of the moment. "

"Oh, Sylvia, I can't wait to see you."

I didn't say a word because I knew the potential that he still had a crush on me and the whole situation still felt weird, no one had a crush one me. That's also why Chris's kiss gave me a sense of bitterness, especially since the man had been drunk.

"Kevin, I have something in the oven I've gotta check on. We'll talk later?"

Kevin sounded upset during our goodbye but there wasn't any chance of me granting him to imagine for the slightest moment that something between us would happen even if it meant I had to reject him sometimes and honestly I had my hopes set on Chris, although the point was stupid. I closed the call and stared at the phone for a moment, should I call grandma or any of my uncles? I really should but didn't have the bravery to do so, they hadn't bothered to contact me and all three were aware of when my return. Life was tiresome without my family, having to spend all this time alone reminded me of why family mattered, I had to stop musing and just call them. But right now I lacked the courage so I slided into a lying position on the couch wishing that Chris would be thinking about me as often as I did of him.

Suddenly I jerked from the couch and reached for my phone, why didn't I think of this earlier? If I wanted to speak with Chris maybe I could find his number on the internet, I searched for Chris Redfield and found he was the only Chris Redfield from the States but no luck, simply his name was on the site and the country he was from. The unraveled personal data must be hidden for a safety reason that was why I couldn't find his address or phone number, with a deafeted mood I allowed myself a nap just for now since I felt drained on vitality and no motivation to do anything.

* * *

Ultimately the 16th of March arrived and I found myself standing in front of the location that was written on the papers we received from Marie. To make it all the way to HQ for the SOU:s I had to first travel on the subway, only to take a train to another city and change between two busses, the BSAA must truly have a strict policy of being secretive.

I first encountered high fences and STOP-signs, a man who stood in a booth let in passengers, there was one side for pedestrians like me and another for vehicles. I gave him my ID and he searched for me in my database, lastly I used the ID-brick that was in the files before the guard allowed me to enter. The smell of salty air struck me and I understood this place was pinpointed near a beach, the thought of summer appeared in my mind producing a nostalgic feeling of my early childhood. Ahead of me was the building suchlike the one I had trained in, but this seemed grander and more modern. The gate was opened, I entered, seeing a wide corridor with shiny floor and the odor of cleaning soap lingered in my nostrils, pictures hung on the walls showcasing soldiers throughout the years.

"Are you new here?" A blonde haired woman asked, she had been leaning against the wall and since the woman was quite short I hand't noticed her. A door besides her was open and I saw chairs lined up before a stage, a few people were already seated.

"Yes. I don't know where to-"

The woman gestured for me to step into the room and I sat down at the second row, looking behind me each time a person walked in. The bag I had carried was placed under the chair I sat on, since I was going to remain here for months I packed necessary items and as I looked around others had done that too.

"Bu!"

I jumped and the person who scared me was no one other than Kevin.

"Jerk." I murmured because everyone glared at us.

Kevin sat next to me and placed his suitcase under the seat. "Hey, I thought you were the one who could joke."

"Sch." I indicated that people began to walk up on the stage and to my joy I saw Chris. There were a woman and eight other men besides Chris.

A tall, lanky bald man stepped forward towards microphone.

"Welcome!" The man had a heavy Irish accent. "You've become SOU:s at least and are ready for your first weeks of working here. I suppose you've all brought your certificates of employment, one copy is for us and the other is yours. The salary for the month you spent in training should also have arrived at your bank accounts so if that's not fixed, fix it - unless you don't want the money. The daily schedules are nailed to the bedroom doors, nonetheless, the usual day begins at 6 am and ends around 5 pm but there's courses for you to take, more about that later, let's start the tour."

I counted that the recruits consisted of four women and ten men including Kevin and I, Damian was one of them, he gave me a nod when he spotted me. All of us went out to the corridor where the ten people of that appeared on the stage already were.

The bald man stood in the middle and spoke. "I forgot to tell you my name, late night yesterday." He shook his head and I spotted dark circles under his eyes, it was contraction to his pale skin.

"I'm Alby Dermott and I'm a captain just like the rest here," he motioned at the other nine besides him. "This is Chris Redfield, Felicity Scott, Karim Garza, John Moore, Thomas Harris, Richard Gray, James Williamson, Cameron Welch, Mike White and depending which unit you'll become a part of one of us will be your captain during missions. Ok, let's continue."

The tour initiated at the bedrooms which was at another corridor where we dropped off our bags, the place was much larger than the old military base, then the tour proceeded into the canteen that reminded me of the canteen I had worked at in London. The worker's lounge here though had more devices and furnishing than the one in London and the place also had a gym, shooting range (inside and outside), specially built rooms for different sports such as gymnastics, karate, archery and by each place we passed I was more and more impressed. Alby explained that certain areas were designed only for the courses we could choose to participate in and that he would talk more about it later, the bathrooms received sounds of impressment from the recruits. The showers were in booths so showering would be somewhat private and there were saunas to use, eventually the tour ended outside at the gardens where the soldiers could spend their free time as gardening proved to be a stress-reliver.

"Wait, you haven't handed in your certificates?" Alby asked mid-through one corridor. "Let's do it now so we won't forgot it." All of us had to head back to the dormitories because the papers were in the bags.

"This guy forgets everything, how the hell is he a captain?" Kevin whispered to me and I nodded in agreement, whenever the man explained anything he spoke too fast and was rather confusing, the other captains sometimes had to correct him and point certain things out. I thought he was the exact opposite of Patrick. We gave him our papers and he ended the tour by explaining how the BSAA operated in a short sentence - when reports are in to agents who apparently are in another building not far from this, we get ready to head for investigation, there's different teams sent in and only one during the start of a mission until another unit is required. During our time here we had to follow the schedule until called in for a mission, the other soldiers were already here and currently at training so we had to change clothes and join them.

* * *

"I'm Sylvia."

I was in the female's dormitories and we were introducing ourselves, to my shock the three girls already knew each other since they had trained during December and two of them were siblings who didn't resemble one another at all, they were named Lily and Lara and the non-sister was named Petra. When the girls had finished changing into workout clothes, the three of them sat down on their beds.

"We'll wait for you." Petra said.

I quickly changed although the plan was to squeeze in time to unpack, after I finished we headed for the gym although the path there took a while because of the size of the building. Every other rookie had arrived, Alby was the only one from the captains, and I as well noticed that other soldiers had by now began using the machines, a few were interested in the recruits, staring at us.

"I don't know if you have seen the schedule yet but the sooner you learn the times to follow the better, usually there's a person leading the workouts but today the workers had to manage for their own but you're new so I thought it would be better to have someone guide you through the designated BSAA workout."

The practice started out with warm up, running in place and simple exercises such as sit-ups and push-ups leading onto the cardio part which consisted of intervals and half an hour later my t-shirt was soaked in sweat, we had a water break before heading to strength. First we learned how to operate the machines and Alby gave us an amount of reps to do, lastly we strength-trained with weights and as always Kevin overdid it by using too heavy weights and Alby had to correct his alignment several times. During the workout I viewed the other rookies and learned we were alike, there wasn't anyone who was overly better than the rest. The guys had already bonded and joked the entire time, eventually Kevin started to ignore since I was in no mood to joke around and joined the guys. A breach between the females and the males had happened on the very first day and after having showered, in the canteen the girls sat for themselves and the guys alone. Petra waved for me to join them and as Kevin was still picking food I sat with them.

"Syl, I'll sit over there." Kevin nudged me on me shoulder and winked. I overlooked it and tried the stew, the food was all right though the rice was a little too overcooked.

"So you're an American?" Petra asked, she had taken a huge portion and was half way through finishing it. "I can hear your accent."

"Yes. Are you from the UK?"

"I'm actually from Wales but grew up in England and Lily and Lara are as English as anyone can get."

The sisters smiled, both had eaten their food, small portions compared to Petra.

"How old are you?" I asked since they seemed under the age of eighteen.

"I'm nineteen and my sister is eighteen." Lily answered, her voice was honeycombed.

I had trouble understanding how these girls wanted to work within the BSAA as soldiers, before changing into workout clothes they had baby pink dresses and wore heavy make-up and their style emulated a sense of pure innocence and it was certainly no impression I could measure with, me, who always looked too weak for anything.

"How come you're here? You're kinda young."

Lara blushed and Lily, the older one responded. "Everyone in our family has worked within in the military and our uncle actually worked as a head of the BSAA for some time so he managed to help us find each one of us a possibility to work here."

"What's his name?" I asked but Petra tapped Lily to look at the guy's table and the girls murmured "wow" so Lara and I turned to what they were staring at. A brown-haired, musuclar man wearing a t-shirt and shorts greeted Kevin, taking a seat at the table, he was very attractive and the girls continued staring. I figured out he had to be the guy Kevin knew.

"He's really, really good-looking." Petra said, eating the last bite of her meal. "I knew there'd nice-looking guys here, just not that there would be so many. I think I've already taken a fancy to him."

Lily and Lara giggled like school-girls.

"Petra's only here for guys." Lara beamed.

"No, I'm not, but you know...it's not the worst place to...you know what." She winked teasingly and the three fell into laughter, I let out a weak smile since it wasn't as if I was a part of the group, they obviously had bonded whilst training to become SOU:s. For a reason I suddenly missed my old work with Saro, Nawra, Lenny and Paul, we had laughed the first time I met Chris, that encounter felt ages ago and again my mind fell on Chris. He was here so why hadn't he taken me aside to talk?

"Look, I think they're heading our way." Lily said, glaring at three men and a woman who righteously were approaching our table.

"Sylvia Jones?" The woman asked, she had a very harsh face but it was beautiful with a defined jawline, high cheekbones and her skin was glowing and olive-toned.

I nodded as always. "Come."

"I just have to leave the tray."

After dropping off the tray with my empty plate I went after her.

"I'm Esmeralda Rosales, but call me Mera. I'm your partner." Mera, as Esmeralda wanted to be called opened a door near the gym and it appeared to be a changing room with green lockers, a large BSAA-seal was attached above the door. She walked up to a locker that had her name printed on a tag that was stuck on it and my name was incrusted on a tag on the locker next to her.

"This is where we get ready for missions, the weapons we usually have to wait for since it would be incredibly stupid to leave them in the open for anyone to play with. Since I'm the one who's worked here longer than you it'll be like I'm your mentor but honestly don't overdo it with questions and stuff, the last partner I had was incredibly annoying and drove me mad, you don't want to do that do you?"

I shook my head, she was nonchalant in her way of speaking and utterly confident, I couldn't decide if I liked her or not. "What happened to your last partner?"

"She died." Her eyes pierced through mine and I felt horrible for asking in such a rude way.

Mera began to grin. "Shit, you should see the look on your face, you've completely freaked out. I was joking, she transferred to the West African Branch, Christ, I can't stop laughing."

It was enough of an impression for me to realize that I didn't like her.

* * *

 **Ok, people, I was wondering if you could give me any songs to listen to? I usually write and listen to music as it helps me so any tips? I listen to anything, from classical to rock so don't be shy. Also, reviews? Please? :) What do you think Mera? And the other recruits?**


	15. A Diffrent Kind of Partner

As the processing days carried on - beginning at 6 AM and ending around 5 or 6 PM - I began to plunge into the pattern of work. Work at the BSAA was much more pleasant (despite Chris had yet not spoken about whatever he required to speak about with me) to experince than the facility, there was no Charlie or Matt here and although my partner wasn't the best pick for me the two of us handled getting along somehow or rather I had to handle the case of dealing with Mera.

I was neither a morning person nor a night person however waking up at 6 AM was at first a challenge, the alarm rang for all the BSAA soldiers (including the captains) and the other employees in HQ who worked in different matters and all in all we were around two hundred together. The workers hurried to eat the typical offered healthy breakfast consisting of fruits, oatmeal and coffee or tea. After the breakfast some time for rest was granted only to be followed by a tough workout with the fitness instructor named Fredric who was highly fit and handsome. To my jolt almost every person here was overly attractive and I was surely not one of them, usually when others had a sufficient beauty I couldn't measure with I promoted myself to recall I was better at other things yet during training I witnessed that every BSAA worker has as good as me if not better but I ignored the depressing verities despite the thought nagged in the back of my head too often.

Fredric managed to leave us sweating and soaking but the challenging day was far from over, the soldiers still had armed combat that was merely demanding depending on which partner one got because there was the chance of getting beaten up severely if the opponent's blows were forceful. Kevin's hits were no longer delicate but rigid and I earned a lot of bruises from fighting with him although I was in denial that those hits could have been prevented if I stopped glaring at Chris whose eyes apparently never met mine during practice. Next on the schedule was lunch to everyone's content, usually it was sandwichs or soups and afterwards there was time to practice shooting.

One evening a guest speaker arrived to have a lecture about Bio Organic Weapons and the basic uses of them, for me the lecture was gratifying because I was reminded of my biology lessons. How the virus could infect the body was a step closer to end bio-weapons, or at least that was what I believed and the knowledge of how the virus invaded the human body could also help develop a vaccine. Yet the days could still continue, not ending there, the courses Alby had mentioned would start again during June but some of them had already begun. Petra was trying out to be a pilot since there was flying lessons but since the lesson required her practicing during daylight too she sometimes missed the morning workouts. A few of the courses were free but becoming a pilot was quite expensive and flying never was an interest for me but I was very interested in taking gymnastics because I had noticed a few of the workers could do amazing backflips and were resilient, that could come in handy especially since the places we were sent away to during missions were warzones which signified how lethal roads and buildings would become, but it wasn't until June the course would start therefore I sat with Kevin and a few other workers I hadn't met in the worker's lounge during evenings. At 8 PM we had dinner and strangely, there was a bedtime to follow - the lights had to be put out at least 12 PM yet I was always asleep at 10 PM, I enjoyed my sleeping time.

The day in which Chris spoke too me wasn't until the Friday of my first week, I was sitting with Mera, since her co-workers were busy, and Lily and Lara whilst Mera joked a great deal.

"You're so lucky to have Mera as your partner," said Lily when Mera had told them of a time during a mission when she accidentally dropped a grenade at the wrong house, luckily no innocent person was killed but the BSAA had to do a lot of paperwork after the accident. "She's really chill!" How could the trait funny be preferred than serious when it came to our line of work?

"Yeah, I'm not exactly the type of person who cries over spilled milk, I'm more of 'well, the best thing you can do in a horrible situation is laugh' person." Mera exclaimed, smiling taunting. "Good day, Chris, anyone you've had to fire yet?"

I turned around and was happy to see Chris's face. Lily and Lara became quiet but I saw through their expression, compared to them Chris must look vast, he surely did emulate a scary radiance.

"Not yet, but there's still the possibility of that happening before your break." Chris grinned. So he was another who fell for her stupid and immature personality? It almost made me dislike Chris, just a little.

"Good, I was hoping to see some drama before leaving, all the crap on TV isn't enough." Mera responded. "Whatcha you here for then?"

Chris placed his hand on my shoulder, the weight felt heavy resting there and I thought of how muscly his arms were and the thought made me feel twirly. Was he touching me for a reason, in front of others? I never sensed he would be a touchy guy.

"I've gotta have a chat with Sylvia, if that's okay?" Chris asked and his gaze fell on me and once more I felt dizzy. God how I hated that merely a look created such strong feelings. I got up on my feet.

Mera laughed. "So there's someone trial?

Chris just shook his head but with a smile and left, I went with him and we stopped walking at the end of a corridor.

"So." I said nervously. "What was-"

Chris disrupted me. "It's the kiss, and really, I don't know what..."

He seemed unsure and the look disheartened me, I was hoping for a sign of infatuation or something that showcased the kiss was intended but alas, the emotion on his face was clearly hesitation. I couldn't possibly have imagined that someone like Chris would ever fall for me? I wasn't pretty, funny, interesting, nothing that people looked for in a partner nor was I near his age. Of course a person like Mera would be a better fit since she was much prettier and likable despite her immature feature, she was unlike me. They would be an amazing couple, strong and fierce, I saw myself standing by painfully watching them kiss in my head until Chris hemmed.

"Sylvia? Hey?"

I forced myself to look into his hazel-eyes, at least there was sign of compassion in them, I knew somehow deep down Chris was a decent guy, he had to be.

"I just thought that you were..." I murmured, keeping eye contact with him. "That there was the chance of us..."

"Dating?" Chris wondered and I saw that the compassion in him remained. "I'm not sure."

"Why? Is it because of me?"

He looked benighted. "No, it's not, I-"

"So, do you even...like me?" I asked bravely, tasting how the words were flaming on my tongue as they were rarely spoken by me.

Chris set his gaze away from mine. "Yeah. I do."

My heart pumped faster from the answer, so it was _true._ I could do summersaults of joy yet he wasn't sure of what?

"Then I don't really see the problem?" I was actually fighting for something I haven't done before, imposing myself to accept my feelings and demanding to understand Chris's issue, it felt quaky and great as if it was the right thing to do. "Since we both like each other."

"I'm not sure if I'm ready to be with someone, it's been a while."

"I...I thought at least we could try, I mean, this is a first for me too."

"First for what?" He asked and sounded astonished. "What do you mean?"

I began panting like I was running and every word was hard to utter because this wasn't me, Sylvia Jones would never face a twenty-something older, tough guy and reveal her infatuation with him but now I was doing exactly that and the act shuddered my legs so badly it was as if I had no strength to remain steady. "Don't make me say it." My cheeks were burning and although I couldn't see it, they were probably red.

Chris glared with his eyebrows wrinkled, suddenly he raised them in surprise and gave me an Aha-I-Know-What-You-Mean look.

"So. This is big for me." I said, breathing between each word. "To take this step and I just hoped that since you were the one who first kissed me..."

Chris nodded, agreeing that statement was true. "I was drunk and I-"

"So you didn't mean to kiss me?" I interrupted with a tone of anger, the last thing that was needed now was for him to pretend have liking me only for pity.

"No, I told you I like you and if you're sure...we can make it work."

"I don't want to force you-"

"No, don't see it like forcing me, more like encouragement and besides Claire has been nagging on me to find someone."

I grinned, my breath wasn't back to normal but now it paced with a different meaning - a jubilant one.

"I haven't bought you dinner." Chris smiled. "How about on Friday next week I'll take you to this amazing Indian restaurant in London?"

"But we have work?" I asked dumb-founded, he wasn't proposing for us to sneak out?

"We get a Friday off sometimes, since there hasn't been any high activity of bio-terrorism there's a chance of allowing some of the workers to have the day off."

I smiled and noticed how his eyes beamed. "Sounds wonderful."

Before we walked back to the canteen I turned to him with a questioned look upon my face.

"Yeah?" Chris wondered.

"Mera...uhm, is it true, the grenade story?"

Chris grinned. "She overdoes it sometimes, but it's true. We cleared houses during a mission in an island near the Mediterranean sea and after finishing off the last house she managed to drop a grenade in one of the empty houses."

"It's unbelievable that such a person can still be in the BSAA, shouldn't you have fired her?"

Chris raised his eyebrows. "She's your partner, right?"

I nodded, annoyed. "It doesn't matter, it's not like you'd wanted someone careless next to you in a battlefield."

"If that's your concern, well, you'll see why she's still here despite her childish acts."

I figured that meant she was a really good soldier, but could she really be that good?

* * *

That evening I was so happy that I actually voluntarily played cards with Kevin and some other guys, since the first night Kevin had made several attempts to make me join but I refused, today I was in the mood for anything. Chris, unfortunately was busy working but with what he didn't say since "some things in the BSAA are too confidential to talk about".

Although I thought that the jokes made by Kevin's friends were ridiculous I enjoyed myself, Kevin winked at me overtime he helped despite me shaking my head in response, I figured he did mostly because it benefitted him because it ended up being me against him and I always lost.

"Mind if I join?" A voice behind me asked and I turned around, seeing Mera.

"Of course." Kevin said and fetched her a chair.

 _So Kevin must also like her,_ I murmured tauntingly in my mind. He seemed overly infested with her, staring at her whilst she took a seat.

"I'm Mera." She uttered to the others and they merely gloated at her confidence as she placed her feet on a chair close by. "Ok, what are we gonna play?"

"I figured we'd play poker." A red-haired guy whose name I couldn't remember but had the most awful jokes said. "It'd be fun."

I got up on my feet, there was no chance I was playing a game I didn't understand.

"Where are you going?" Kevin asked, bedazzled.

"I don't know how to play poker."

Mera tugged at my arm gently. "Sit down, we'll show you how."

The others appeared upset which neither Mera or Kevin took any attention to that time was spent on explaining the game for me. The game was complicated, it was a special type of poker that had been developed by a previous worker from the BSAA and so what should taken five minutes to explain the game became thirty minutes.

"And whoever manages to get two queens, kings and jokers ends the game."

"So you basically play until that rule?"

My partner nodded.

"It can take the whole night."

"That's what makes it fun." Mera uttered. "If you don't want it's fine..."

"No, no, your explanation wasn't for nothing. I'll play."

The game was unusually interesting to play even though I was the one to lose first, watching them was amusing enough for me and without noticing it the clock got twelve, yet we carried on playing and our voices got higher and higher, lastly we were the only ones left in the lounge. Mera screamed and shouted, being the loudest, I had never encountered such a strong female, usually the women I knew always stood to the side and watched when it came to almost everything but Mera was different. Despite the fact I disliked her gruesome jokes and brutal honesty I couldn't help but feel a glimpse of admiration for her being so careless, I had ruthless spent my life fearing what others thought of me and constantly remained in the shadows.

"You fucking dick!" Mera cried because Kevin had just beaten her out of the game, she had uncontrollable loser-rage and her insults and swears simply created a better mood amongst us, we laughed watching her kick the chair she had had her feet resting on.

"Eh, shouldn't we be in our rooms by now?" A dark-skinned guy asked, seeming concerned.

Mera captured the cards from his hands violently. "Go then, nobody's forcing you to stay."

Her words settled him in a more burdensome situation, if he left it meant he cared about being better than us by following rules but in mutinous groups being the obedient one resulted in judgement from other group members but he chose to remain and play. I was too engerenic to sleep and because Mera had an upper hand compared to the rest of us, being an SSOA, I assumed we were granted to stay up and the amusing game continued until a screaming voice shocked us all.

"ESMERALDA! Aren't they supposed to be in their dormitories?" It was the attractive man Petra had taken a fall for but he looked enraged, his features twisted in rage.

Mera instantly stood up although she was shorter than him, her look was fierce. "They're fucking adults, they know the rules, I never forced them to stay! Why the bloody hell are you even up?"

"I'm on night duty but that doesn't matter since you're the example they look after, it's also your job to follow the goddam rules! I'm reporting this to the captains."

"Do it, it's not like I give a damn. Besides you're being the baby."

The hazel-eyed soldier seemed even more angry at her words but shifted his fury towards us. "What are you waiting for? Want someone to tuck you in too?"

Kevin hurried past him and the rest of us followed. "Sorry, Piers."

We continued out, through the corridor and could still hear them screaming.

"Crap, he really does hate her." Kevin murmured.

"What?" I inquired. "How do you know that?"

"He told us once when we ate lunch with him, remember? And isn't it pretty oblivious, he was exaggerating." The red-haired soldier uttered. "It wasn't necessary to act like we were kindergarten kids, that guy is obsessive with work."

* * *

"Hey, you're with me." Mera seized my shoulder, I wheeled around.

"Ok, no need to scare me."

She shrugged nonchalantly and headed for the corner of the room, it was an early morning since we had training with our partners for the first time. Fredric instructed us, shouting and giving out instructions, pointing out our faults and running to each pair to help them if needed. Chris was with the Piers that had fought with Mera last night, despite the group departing from the lounge their fight was loud enough to penetrate the walls and the noise only ended after what must have been half an hour. Mera allowed her bad mood to show today, grimacing and muttering under her breath, it appeared that Mera and Piers didn't simply dislike each other - they were archenemies.

"People, please, how many times do I have to remind you? When you block a kick raise your shin high enough!" Fredric shouted, standing next to Kevin who had been partnered with an unfamiliar person.

"Merlin's beard, how hard have you been punching your partner?" Fredric bursted out seeing the bruise on my bare arms as he had come to check on Mera and I. "Mera, what's the matter?" He seemed concerned in a sententious way and I recalled the many times that look had been given to me.

Mera ignored his comment, throwing another punch but because I was focusing on watching Chris with Piers and listening to Fredric I had no idea that her strong swing hit the middle of my face, a gasp blurted out of me as it happened and swiftly I covered my face as a reflex to shield myself. The blow was the strongest yet I had experienced and I was hunching down from agony, suddenly a runny liquid stormed through the gaps between my fingers and Fredric let out another gulp but of shock and I felt once again Mera grab hold of me and pulling me to walk.

"I'll take her to the nursery." She exclaimed, avoiding sounding ashamed and guilty. "For fuck's sake, Sylvia, pay attention next time."

The blameful comment agitated me and I unveiled my face to defend myself, in fact it was not my fault at all and she should have warned me before throwing a punch, the shear rudeness from Mera angered me yet my mouth left no words because of the blood streaming down, masking my face.

"Shit, you're really bleeding." Mera exerted and hurried.

The air in my head felt fragile and it was problematic to coordinate the steps, within seconds I was wobbling - Mera was quick enough to catch me, supporting the weight on her shoulder and slowing down.

"You're losing too much blood, so you'll feel dizzy." She murmured and now the tone of guilt was impossible to not notice but the statement was correct hence my breaths became heavy and I attempted to draw deeper ones to fill my brain with oxygen yet the lightheadedness persisted, why did things suchlike these always happen to me?

Although Mera had strived to direct the accusation towards me, the sight of my blooded face contrived her to bustle even though the weight on the short woman that she was compelled to support was heavy so the nurse helped her to settle me on sick-nursing bed, without speaking a word the nurse cleaned my face and patched me up by inserting cotton-like prods in my nostrils as Mera watched. The exhaustion from suffering a punch so harsh that caused a lot of bleeding I couldn't uphold any anger at the moment towards Mera hence when the nurse left and Mera sat down on the chair beside the bed I stayed quiet, not asking her to leave, yet sounds of scraping from Mera's chair emerged when a heavy and bulky person rushed into the room.

"Where is she?" The person was Chris. "What the fuck, Mera?" Piers told me-"

"Piers is bastard who fucking envies me, anything he says is a bloody lie!" Mera shouted. "Honestly, Chris-"

"Mera...please, shut up." I managed to utter, since she had pulled the last string in me by screaming. "Just, shut up."

Chris sent her a look of dislike, condemning her to keep her lips sealed, this must have been streaking over the line that the hot-headed woman had crossed too often and having Chris on my side created heartening feelings because the signs of concern from him and condemning the guilty one made me realize that I had a companion who stood on my side when required, that substance had been missing an abundant of times in my life so with Chris showing that affection warmed me more than the kiss. A moment of silence endured between the three of us with guilt and scorn flooding through the air.

"Mera...you've gotta stop acting like a goddam moron, is it even your intention to become a captain?" Chris remarked, his hands placed on the hips and I glared at him, admiring the stocky muscles on his arms. Some might think that the amount of muscle mass Chris consisted of was too much but I saw him alluring, standing there - tall and robust.

Mera's eyes were empty and for a linger I experienced a rush of empathy, like Mera never desired to be here or that she was alive at all and the look she possessed was a memorialization of my mother's dead eyes.

"It wasn't on purpose, it's not as if..." Mera murmured.

I tried to sit up straight and Chris hurried to help me up, his hand resting gently on the side of my waist and I was embarrassed since I must reek of sweat but so did we all from the training. He pushed me up yet when I saw up straight he placed himself down next to me and drifted his arms over my shoulders, I wanted to curl into his embrace and cuddle but Mera was intruding on our privacy.

"Are you together or what?" Mera asked, sneering and it was obvious she attempted to steer the conversation into a new subject.

Chris glanced at me and I took hold of his hand, despite Mera's intrusive question I feared the answer, in my perspective we were dating but Chris was the one to answer as the dating-life was a unfamiliar area to me, there were so many rules to follow and one wrong word slip could end what I had with Chris.

"Yeah," he finally said, ending my fear, "we are."

Mera let out a mere laugh. "Cute."

"Goddammit, Mera, how hard did you punch her?" Chris wondered, looking at me. "You need to change these." He referred to the prods in my nose.

"The nurse will be here soon." Mera calmed Chris. "And what's a little blood to girls? It's not like we don't see it often."

I blushed, speaking of periods had always been taboo and I had no idea what attitude Chris had towards the subject and whether or not he aspired the macho-man attitude since he gravely looked one. But Chris joined the laughter with Mera as I felt embarrassed but relieved that Chris didn't care about shaming anyone for speaking about the tabood-subject.

"Yeah but for Sylvia that's not the case, she's a tough girl." Chris muttered, stroking my back. I felt an immense rush of happiness and gave him a quick kiss on the mouth in front of Mera who cheered, his lips felt warm and soft pressing onto mine.

* * *

 **I'm trying to follow a schedule for writing since school requires me to put aside time to study, so Mondays and Saturdays are the days new chapters will be posted! Or that's what I'm aiming for so please don't hesitate to review, only makes me want to write more...:)**


	16. Thoughts and Friends

"It's kinda crazy. I'm still trying to understand I have actually come this far." I muttered, resting my head on Chris's shoulder, he was resting towards the stump of a tree and I sat beside him. "I dunno sometimes..."

The two of us had been put on night duty which merely required us to every once in a while patrol the corridors and check that no one was wandering around until we were permitted to head back the dormitories. My first month working as an SOU had fleeted by, yet a little time was spent with Chris as we had different jobs and different schedules to follow and it was only at partner's training I spotted him but since he was working with Piers there wasn't really any bonding time. Chris attempted to compensate the lost time through tampering with the night duty schedule and placed my time at the same as his. Having a boyfriend was peculiar for me in all ways, I didn't know how to react whenever there were questions about our relationship or if it was embarrassing or not to kiss Chris in the presence of others and more or less I wasn't fully gasping the fact that life was going somewhere for me. I had a freakin boyfriend! I had always felt that I was never climbing the ladder of life except when I managed to graduate as a SOU but for reasons that didn't satisfy me as much as being with Chris. I was almost scared of how deeply I cared for him and I was constantly worried that at one point he would want to leave me.

Chris kissed me softly on the forehead. "What's so hard to understand? You've earned this position, you deserve being here." He answered encouragingly.

"I know but I feel so lucky." The words were a cliche in my sense but they were true. "To have survived this far."

"There's gonna be a lot of more of trying to survive in the future."

"Yeah, exactly. How do you manage, to have come this far in this job and not..." I began and was afraid to say the last words because Chris had suddenly turned stiff in his embrace. "...have died."

Death would forever be a subject brought into my life that was coherent since in our profession death was a daily thing the soldiers in the BSAA faced so why had Chris become so conflicted when I mentioned it? Those years after I lost my father, death used to be an avoidable subject until I started to talk to professionals during my school time, those sessions allowed me to accept that what humans feared so much would never be escapable, as I saw it, death was what made us human but accepting the losses of my loved ones...that's was different.

"I didn't mean to blame you, the sentence came out wrong." I said because he hadn't responded.

"I thought after all these years things would be different now. I wouldn't be afraid anymore but I've learned that's not the deal here. The hard part is wondering who's the next in line because you're not only fearing for you life when you're out there fighting BOW:s but for the people in your team too. I have so many dead colleagues that I've stopped counting them."

Now I was the quiet one. My father's death had costed me a lifetime of sorrow but I had promised myself to make things better after the sessions I had had in school, which improved things for me however when would the breaking point occur, the event that could bring me down into the deepest pit of regret and sorrow? I sensed it coming closer, the days passing until that day we're sent off to fight and I lose someone again. Before Chris and I got together I had felt coldness coming from him, maybe it had became a way for him to shield himself away from the people so he would no longer become hurt from losing loved yet...Chris was with me now so he had chosen to try live somewhat of a normal life and I couldn't put my finger to why he broke an rule to be with me? Or maybe I just had very low self-esteem and wouldn't dare to believe someone had fallen for me, a person alike Chris who I genuinely admired.

"I promised myself to not let the missions haunt me anymore but that's impossible. I've accepted that the fear will always stick with me." Chris muttered. "I've given up on trying to pretend this job hasn't demanded too much from me, a piece of me is stuck with this job."

"I never took you to be a quitter."

"I'm not a quitter, I'm a realist."

"Realists tend to quit, you know."

Chris caressed my check and drew back a strand of hair that had fallen out of the bun. "And how do you know that?" He asked cheekily.

I slowly closed my eyes, seeming moony. "Because I am one myself."

Chris sat up straight and the sudden movement made me delapse to the side with my face landing on the ground. "You're too young to be one."

"So? Some people grow up earlier than they're supposed to." I said dauntingly, the temper rushing through me. "I am who I am, there's nothing to change it."

Chris raised his eyebrows, glaring. "Are you happy, being like that? Don't you have any optimism in you?"

"You're like me, so why the complaint?"

"It's different, I'm older."

"Age is just a number." I joked, making the conversation more light-hearted.

Chris grinned. "Yeah, well, that quote is shit."

I laughed. "And jail is just a room."

"You're so pretty when you laugh." He said, glooming at me with a new expression I had ever seen anyone direct at me.

"Your words warms my heart." I sneered. I was horrible at excepting compliments from people especially when they came from someone I wanted to be complimented by.

"Quit the Shakespeare-crap."

"Well, well, look at the anti-romantic named Chris and I was so happy to see there was at least some hopeless romantic in you."

"There's other ways to be romantic, we don't have to follow the old traditional way."

"And impose new traditions? I like the idea, any suggestions that you already got?"

"No," Chris said, leaning forward and stroked my waistline as I lied on the side with my elbow supporting the head. "Just kissing will do." Then he sifted his weight over my body, forcing me to lie on my back and he supported himself on his elbows next to my head, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Are you gonna kiss me or what?" I asked cheekily.

"Shut up." He grinned and pressed his lips onto mine, sending warm shivers down my spine.

The thick layer of clothes I wore didn't function well at all as a strong shield from Chris's warmth, despite the cold winds I was burning. Goosebumps appeared over my skin because of him lightly pressing his body onto mine and the gesture made me kiss him more passionately. His tongue entered my mouth, massaging my tongue and a tickling sensation emerged inside me. Chris broke away from my lips, rolling to lie on his back and took me with him so I was on the top of him, I started to kiss him on the cheek, feeling his stubble twinge me and I enjoyed the feeling of it. Chris searched for my bun, removing the hairband and freed my thick, curly hair.

"You look so beautiful with your hair down." He muttered.

"Mhm." I hummed, continuing to leave kisses on his face.

* * *

The rumor of Chris and I spread faster than believed and in fear of breaking a rule that stated captains and SOU:s were not allowed to engage in relationships I rushed to Chris to ask him if it was still possible for us to be together, I found him near the dormitories showing an SOU where the toilets lied.

"Man, you'd think they should learned where everything is by now." Chris uttered after the confused SOU followed his directions. "What is it? You look worried."

I blinked at him, wasn't he also distressed by all gossip going around? I didn't like having the spotlight on me, especially as our relationship felt so unconcealed and there was no room for us to spend quality time at this place. "Haven't you noticed? Everyone seems to know all about us."

Chris grinned and placed his hands on my hips. "Why is that concerning you?"

"Well...isn't there a rule that doesn't allow us to be together?" I heard footsteps coming from around the corner and quickly removed his hands all though I yearned to remain in his embrace. Alby passed us, stopping when he noted Chris.

"Have you finished the reports?" He asked, his gaze flickering between the two of us and seemed puzzled.

Chris nodded. "Yes, sir. They'll be ready soon."

"Good." Alby muttered, walking slowly away from us and turning his head a few times before he rounded the next corner.

"That's exactly what I'm worried about." I said to which Chris cackled.

"To answer your question," Chris began, "no. There's nothing that says we can't be in a relationship."

A puff of ease was relived by me. "That's good."

"But why weren't you worried when we told Mera about us? She's the biggest gossip-talker there is here"

I shrugged, not knowing why. Possibly because my mind had been too busy thinking about how happy I was that Chris saw me as a girlfriend. "Because I was too busy staying clear despite having lost so much blood."

He grinned, embracing me. "Yeah, forgot about that. But I've gotta go now, maybe I'll find you later if I'm done with those reports earlier."

I clasped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Fine. I'll see you." I was the first to break free of the hug since it was upsetting how much he worked, was it possible that he merely lied and tried to averted me on purpose? No, it couldn't be true, I thought for myself watching him follow the same path Alby had went.

Reputably Mera wasn't alone in being a big title-tattler and for the next week I experienced a lot of whispering from groups that lowered their voices when I showed up or swiftly changed subjects and spoke loud enough for me to hear that whatever they were discussing didn't involve me. I supposed that many regarded that being with Chris indicated a lot of special treatment in my terms but I was glad to know there were no difference between me and other SOU:s, perhaps the fact that Chris tinkered a little with the ninth duty schedule so we had time with each other but that was understandable. If I was an outsider to this situation I wouldn't think that act was unjust and even if some workers would be upset over the fact that wouldn't be any trouble since the chance of the secret ever becoming uncovered was zero. Kevin who I had hoped no longer harbored any feelings towards me resented me and I was no more welcomed to join him and his gang to play cards therefore my evening became quiet. Sometimes I had the possibility to chat a little with Damian yet he had found himself getting along with his partner very well, they were almost inseparable and I didn't desire to intrude on their conversation.

I chose to start reading again since I had stopped doing it ever since arriving in the UK and suddenly I was struck by the knowledge that neither of my family members had contacted me, within seconds I was on the verge of tears. For the last days I had been busy trying to adapt and focused on Chris so the idea of my family had been put aside, and it was for a reason as I tried to choke down the tears. I was alone in the dormitory, the book lying on my lap and my eyes glared on the ugly, green tapestry, had I been wrong not listening to grandma? To my uncles? They were the ones who helped me get this far and it seemed unfair to leave them and forget everything about them yet my uncles had missed so many years of my life that it had been challenging to form a elaborated relationship and grandma was always too occupied with taking care of my mother. I had been angry all these years but perhaps I was too unfair, they had their own difficulties to cope with and I couldn't believe my family members should drop everything just to help me whenever. I had to call them, even if I was here without any privacy. I missed them, my family members reminded me of easier days, despite the sadness from my early days was recognized whilst thinking of them, because somehow a protected feeling arrived when I was with them as if I had lost my innocence ditching them. I placed the book on the nightstand, changed into pajamas, brushed my teeth and headed for bed despite the time being half past nine. I was too tired from the shock of sorrow that all I desired was to sleep it away.

 _God, why was I so goddamn weak?_

"Sylvia, it's time to wakie wakie!" The person who uttered the words was Mera. I slowly blinked my eyes open, the lights hurting my eyes and I hoped it wasn't seeable that I had fallen asleep crying.

"Why are you waking me?" I wondered.

Mera tattled, punching me jokingly on the arm. "Because you have night duty with me, your partner." She cheerfully uttered.

"What? I had it last night!" I tried to keep my eyes open to see clearly, the room was dark and the other girls were asleep yet Mera had rudely spoken very loud.

"Yes, you're right _but_ as an SSOA I can write you up without you knowing since it's somehow a lesson how to stay focused at all times, ya know. There's always the chance of the alarm going off during the night and it won't be like "Nooooo, just let me sleep first" and the BOW:s will be "Sorry, mate, forgot how important having a good sleep cycle is very, veeeery important!"

Her mocking words were the last I needed to hear, my mind was occupied with blurry visions of my family and how I should have acted in my situation so handling Mera at the moment could easily have been that I was attempting to finish a marathon with annoying children clinging to my legs.

"Are you going to get up or do I have to drag you?" Mera hooted.

"Eh, who keeps talking? Shut up, we need to sleep!" Petra murmured sleepily.

"I will if Sylvia gets the fuck up!"

"Yeah, yeah, in a minute." I muttered and headed to change into sweatpants and a hoody.

We left the room with Petra muttering at us, the corridor was dauntingly quiet and for a reasons chills spiraled along me so that as a reflex I hugged myself.

"It's not that cold." Mera said, glaring at me, she wore her usual outfit consisting of yoga pants and a tank top that showed off her well-trained body. Her face was spot free and her skin radiant, she looked shockingly beautiful and by merely taking a glance at Mera my self-esteem lowered. How did some girls manage to look so beautiful without even trying? It was unfair.

"Mhm, you might not think that but I do." I responded, annoyed at her compelling me into night duty and seeming so beautiful naturally I ached mentally from thinking about all the times grandma had pointed out my physical flaws.

I glanced up the magnificent, dark blue sky with its many stars that glittered so beautifully. One positive thing about the location of work was how easy it was to appreciate the simplicity of nature and by just staring into the nature-created pieces such as trees, lakes and mountains tranquility dwelled in me. I was never cut for a rushed, stressed city. Mera and I decided to take a look around the outside, in the storage room which only Mera was allowed to enter, the corridors and bathrooms, as well as passing by the dormitories to hear the expected quietness from the rooms. As I walked by the men's I wondered which room Chris was in, I wished he was here instead but unfortunately he wasn't my partner. I meet two others on night duty who introduced themselves as Yvonne and Neil, possibly two people I wouldn't encounter often since this was their last week before their break as they had told me. Mera and I met back in the lounge but she insisted on staying outside despite the freezing weather.

"I brought blankets." She explained and I was puzzled at her forethought. "You know, there's actually an explanation to why I wanted this night as our night duty."

"Mhm."

Mera punched my arm. "Hey, I'm telling you something, at least pretend to be interested."

"Fine. What's so goddamn interesting?" My jaws tensing, hoping it would send her a heads ups that she was pulling on my strings but she carried on in her careless way.

"There's going to be shooting stars visible."

I turned to her. "Really?" I would rather spend the night with Chris but he might be angry if I woke him, ignoring the fact that this night was for Mera and I not to mention that Chris was an work-alcoholic to the point his work-ethics could even irritate me.

"It's going to be extraordinary, I have never seen a shooting star." Mera remarked cheerfully and I sensed a rattling childlike recognition in her.

We took a seat down at the cold lawn separating the lake and shooting range, I wrapped myself in the blanket and saw fumes leaving my mouth with each breath. Mera was lying down and staring at the sky, completely bewitched and for minutes we waited to see any signs of stars.

"What's your story?" Mera questioned after a while of noticing nothing.

"My story?" I asked, there was no possibility that I would share the deepest part of me to her and it wasn't even thinkable to happen if the person was Chris. "There is none, really."

"Come on," Mera uttered. "Will it help if I tell you mine?"

My curiosity said yes, it would actually be alluring to hear her story and how she turned into the person she is.

"It's pretty sad, really. My parents were shitholes, my childhood filled with impeccable crap and I was kicked out of school so many times I was eventually sent off to a military camp for some weeks when I thought that being in the military wasn't too silly. Then after I got bored with that, I applied to the BSAA."

Mera reveled her story without any hurt or sorrow in her voice as if she was telling me her order, never in a million times could I see myself acquiring so much casualty around my tough childhood to people I barely knew, not to anyone. It wasn't due to I had trust issues but because I felt it wasn't necessary to remind oneself of horrible times. Mera's story wasn't of any surprise to me, I figured she had to be the cocky child who apparently came from a rough background where there was a lack of care from the parents, those types of children I had encountered living in Falksson but not where grandma and mom lived, in my old hometown every detail of a person's life had to be perfect and if not then it was conceled like an ugly secret. I was weighing between what to say to her, obviously pitying Mera would disown her and any fake encouragement was a cliche so I stayed quiet.

"Aren't you going to say your story?" Mera muttered when she realized I had no words to her regarding her life.

"Well, I met this teacher in high school who told me to apply to the military if I had no idea what to do after high school so I went to military school for a while, afterwards I worked a year there until I was hoping to leave."

"Ah, was it that simple for you to know that it's going to be military school?"

"I...never give it much thought, I mean. Sometimes I don't think too much about what I do."

"Hey, look there's a star!" Mera shouted. "Look!"

I sifted my gaze to where she pointed and saw a glistering line falling down. The whole sky seemed like painting and the shooting star completed it, for a sudden second I understood how vast the place we lived in was and I felt insignificant, my worries were nothing and nor were my dreams, I was simply a speck of dust in this enormous universe.

"Almost scares you to look up at the stars." Mera said.

"Yeah, it does." Our conversation was maneuvering into becoming a bit too confidant for my liking. "Shouldn't we get up and do another round of checks?"

"Mm, you're right, we've been acting like astronomers too long. Let's go."

Mera and I got on our feet, taking with us the blankets and left the cold night.

* * *

"I'm going to a mission." Kevin repeated for the tenth time. "I'm going on a fucking mission, I don't know if I can manage it. Sylvia, please, take my place?"

I placed the book I had attempted to read on my crossed legs, it turned out to be more than a detactive-story and the three main characters were in a love triangle, despite the fact I always though love-triangles were awful the author wrote the story in the weirdest ways so the book had a humorist approach to it.

"Kevin, it will be okay! Stop whining, I mean, you even got better results than me from the training, remember?" I snared.

Kevin had forgotten he was angry at me and had rushed to inform me his team were going to be sent off within a few days to investigate an island near the Baltic States and his response was mere shock and horror. It wasn't any crying from his part but rather constant complaining and lack of self-esteem, soon he was going to win over me regarding the contest of who has the lowest view of themselves.

"It's not the same, those test we had...there were no fucking real BOW:s! Not at all! Fuck, fuck, fuck.." murmured Kevin, his fingers ran through his thick hair that had grown for the past months. "What if I never return? What if I'll never see my family again?"

The second sentence struck me, splitting my mood into thousands of pieces of regret. Kevin was an idiot at times but he was right. For now on us being SOU meant that we were closer to the fact that it would be the last time before returning to loved ones. I had to call my family, just to check on them. God, where was Chris when I needed him? I needed his comfort, the last time I saw him was at breakfast yet he seemed exhausted hence I avoided questioning him about it and allowed him to eat in silence, afterwards he had grunted that he had to leave for work, again. His eyes dipped away from mine though I still sensed the guilt in him.

"I have to call my mum just one more time." Kevin elevated from the chair, brooding for himself and surprisingly Piers took his seat. The soldier's green eyes were so sharp and one look was enough to appreciate the beauty in them and how strikingly handsome he was, yet why had he taken a seat beside me?

Piers glanced at the book. "What's the book about?" He questioned.

"It's just fiction, nothing educational."

He nodded.

"Mhm." I murmured. "So...how are you?"

"Good." Piers answered. "It's my last days before I'm on vacation."

"Nice. Do you have any plans?" I said at the same time as Piers muttered: "Do you know what keeps Chris so busy?"

"What?" I asked.

Piers searched through the room, watching if someone was listening to our conversation. "Do you know why Chris is always sent away? I've been his partner for some time now and I don't know why they send our captain for every commission."

"I...why would I know? You're the one who ought to know why, you've known him longer than me."

He shoot me a rude look, tilting backwards and pressing his lips into a thin line. "The point is," he said in hushed voice, "that there is something bothering Chris."

"So this isn't how his usual work schedule looks like?"

"No. Hasn't he told you that captains rarely works as much as SSOU and SOU? He's been applying to take on every single mission from the agents since captains have the authority to do so and I've spoken to his sister - she's worried that he's over working himself."

"Has he been doing this for some time or...is this something he recently started with?"

"No, it's been like this before I met him."

I was happy to learn that Chris wasn't intentionally working extra to avoid me, not that it would have made sense to why but his actions were troubling and distinctly there was an issue.

"One of us better talk with him." I muttered. "I'm not good at this, so..."

Piers sighed. "I'll talk to our captain. By the way you've been asked to report to Alby, he's in his office."

"Where-"

"Down the corridor next to the men's dormitories, the second one from the left."

I got up on my feet, ready to leave with my book before I wheeled around. "You'll speak with Chris the moment you see him?" Piers nodded.

Alby was consumed in his paperwork, his face so close to the file he was reading that the tip of his nose was touching it I noticed when entering the room. He jerked up which made me jump from the sudden noise of the chair scraping across the floor.

"Sorry, just an old habit of mine. Sylvia, was it?"

"Yes, Piers told me you asked for me?"

"Yes, yes, I did. Now you've been to HQ in London?"

I nodded, why was he asking me about my old workplace?

"There's a few files I'd appreciate if you could hand over to Mr. Bailey that he must sign, could you head there today?"

"Eh, today? I suppose, yeah."

"There's so much that has to be done before a mission...and I wouldn't have bothered you if it wasn't for the fact that everyone else is busy with other assignments!" Alby let out a sigh, handing me black binder.

"Just tell Mr. Bailey that he'll only need to sign the twenty first documents, I've read through most of them but the rest is approved. Very well, off you go."

"Have you-"

"I've informed your instructors why you'll be absent, now hurry so you don't miss the buss!"

I left the stressed and ill-mannered captain, grabbing my jacket from the dormitory and encountered a wet Petra standing wrapped in a towel.

"It's work-related." I explained before she could ask but she still looked confused when I left.

* * *

 **So sorry for not posting this earlier but I thought I had more time to write but there's something wrong with my school-schedule so I have more classes than I believed and blablabla, things you're not interested in. I posted this today because I've changed the update-days to Wednesday and Saturday, to be more specific a chapter will be posted during CET (Central-European Time). Also, I have an exam next week...which might mean that a new chapter won't appear until later than Saturday...sorry :( BUT, I wonder - any thoughts on this chapter? Lemme know! :)**


	17. For the Better

**Reminder: Everything belongs to Capcom but my own characters.**

* * *

The journey back to the HQ in London took longer than it should have, first I managed to forgot bringing my wallet to pay for the bus and train tickets, then I thought it was best to bring my ID-card in able of entering the building as I had done on my first day of work. What wasn't so smart about leaving the bus and heading back was the simple logic of not having brought the ID-card from the start and it was actually lying on the counter in the kitchen of my apartment, so one hour later (the bus didn't move as often in the outskirts of this small English village) I sat down calm yet uncertain to if I had forgotten yet another thing.

For the sake of London being a big city and not forgetting one of the most popular places for tourists as well it was straightforward that encountering odd persons on public transports were a must. On the bus that took us to the closest train station I met a couple who were clearly drunk. Since I had gone on a Monday afternoon the train was full of people going home for the day so I was forced to sit next to an old lady who seemed nice until she opened her mouth. She merely spoke about the family who wore their traditional clothes who also sat across us and how she disliked "that these people think they have the right to come this country and still act so horribly" and what she believed was "horribly" I didn't ask. I wasn't the type of girl who often sat down and tried to reason with racists or spent most of my time on social media trying to fight the racist structures in our society but I surely stood with those who did. Fortunately the old lady left the train and I enjoyed having the seat for myself without any blabbering stranger.

Because the time was vaguely late I was fearing that Bailey had gone home for the day thus I hurried along and before the long pointer on my watch had reached the number six I had arrived. The building was as stately it had been on the first day I had shown up for work but the guard wouldn't allow me to enter since my ID-brick wasn't functioning.

"But that's weird! It's supposed to work, it did when I worked he-...ah." I muttered, slowly understand the ID-brick had stopped working when I was written out of the system because of switching jobs.

The guard remained in front of me with a upright expression on his sunburnt face. "I'm sorry, miss. But I must ask you to leave."

"You don't understand, I used to work here but I transferred to-"

The man shook his head inappreciatively which annoyed me to the fullest so I formed my hands into fists and suddenly remembered that throwing a fit was more of Mera's thing.

"I was on vacation so I haven't ever seen you here and you might be lying, that's a precaution I have to make, miss."

"SYLVIA!" Someone shouted loud across the large hall and the group of men in costumes who gladly had watched me argue with the guard turned around to glare at Nawra.

"Nawra, please tell this man I have to come in!"

Nawra who wore a light green shirt that clashed with her black hair furrowed her eyebrows at my words. "What is going on? And what are you doing here?"

I handed her the documents and she confusedly held them. "These documents need to be signed by Mr. Bailey, can you give them to him tomorrow? I better head back."

Tired from the travel and annoyed by having to complete this stupid task I wheeled around without any consideration to answer Nawra's questions but seconds after I left the building she caught up with me.

"Sylvia, what's the matter?" She asked in a very British accent. "You seem upset."

"I'm not, it's just that I had to go through all this trouble and the freakin guard won't let me in, and is Mr. Bailey even here?."

Nawra shook her head. "Who sent you?"

"One of the captains back at the HQ."

"You mean home grounds? It's not called HQ, at least where you're working."

"Whatever it's called, I don't care. I just have get back before the buses stops driving."

My phone began ringing and I hurdled through my bag to find it.

"Hi?" I asked.

"Hey," said Chris. "I never gave you my number, did I? Are you still in London?"

"Yes, why are you asking?"

Nawra glanced at me but continued to walk with me towards the nearest subway station and past the crowded street.

"I've spoken with Alby, he said you and I got some time off so that's great, right? But I won't be able to come to the city until nine or later."

A free day spent with Chris? This day was certainly taking a turn for the better. "That's okay, where should I met you?"

"Right now I'm not sure but I'll call you later. Take care."

Happily I ended the call and hastily stopped on the stairs down to the subway, pushing someone to get through the remarkable amount of pedestrians when suddenly Nawra almost fell on me.

"Sorry!" I murmured because she had collied with a man in a fur suit who shoot her a crude glare.

"Why did you stop? I thought you were going back."

"Not anymore, I'm meeting up with...a friend."

"But work?" She asked, waving her gloved-covered hands.

"Yeah, the person is a co-worker and...she said we got a day off."

Many passed by, a few looked at us annoyed that we were blocking the way and stressed women and men clashed with us yet it didn't bother Nawra but when another large group were about to scale the stairs who had just left the subway I dragged her to the side.

"I've gotta head back to my apartment, give me the documents I can give them to Mr. Bailey tomorrow if I'll spend the night in London."

"Then you have to promise to visit us! We missed you, like Saro said, we barely got to know you." Nawra complained.

Her enlightenment raised the quality of my mood, hearing that in just some weeks of getting to know people they had enjoyed learning of my acquaintance as well. I had rarely experienced this appeal, the mere knowledge that I had old colleagues who missed me and a boyfriend that I was going to spend a night with in of the biggest cities in Europe was alienating.

"I promise I'll make the time for it." I uttered, smiling.

She gave me her number and the two of us went our separate ways.

* * *

Because I figured that Chris was going to sleep at my apartment I cleaned every spect of it despite being tired, it was rarely my clean-freak showed up but I was having guests and it had been routed in me that a clean home left a good impression. Ever since leaving USA all the bits of my personality was changing and so was my life, I saw it in such a way that my life used to be a train stuck on one line until at last receiving signs to head forward and I was accepting all the changes with joy.

For a single person to tidy around in my tiny apartment acquired the time I expected, first there was the vacuuming every room and later onto changing sheets, removing dust, wiping clean each one spot I could get my way to and lastly opening windows to allow fresh air to enter. I should have fixed someone who could check on my apartment for me and before leaving the idea involved solving the issues with my family so maybe my uncles could tend my apartment but that idea was scratched. Instead I accepted whatever would occur if I left the place for three months and thinking about that decision got me appreciating how dumb it was.

The sun had disappeared hours ago and the misty night created an eerie feeling in my apartment, even to the point that a cold, creepy thrill flashed through me whilst strutting around my home to see what more had to be done. Chris wasn't arriving until another hour thus the time to shop for groceries was now. I put on my navy-blue coat and headed outside. The closest shop lied just two blocks away and it was half-empty, a couple were also taking their time to find merchandises. My goods consisted of vegetables, condiments, spices, potatoes, rice and a packet of frozen cod since the meat seemed close to being rotten. Before paying the old cashier I noticed the sale on candles next to the checkout counter.

"I'll also have the vanilla-scented candles." I said.

"If you want I can offer you an extra for free if you buy a chocolate box." He muttered in what seemed to be Eastern-European accent. I glanced at the price of one of the chocolate boxes, the price was half of one candle. My sweet tooth couldn't decline the offer so I landed up on buying more than I had intended. On the way home to the apartment Chris called.

"Hey. Where can I meet you?" He asked and in the background I made out the sounds of heavy rain.

"You can come to my apartment, just take the subway to Paddington station."

"Sounds good, can you meet me there in an hour?"

"Yeah."

I quickly went home so I would have time to cook dinner, something I always loved doing. The dinner was going to be fried cod with potatoes and sauce, an recipe from grandma and it was quick to make. I was nearly done with the sauce till I noted it was getting near ten so I rushed to the subway. Chris was standing near a department store, glaring into one of the windows that sold music instruments.

"Do you play?" I wondered and Chris turned around surprised. Somehow he managed to appear more tired than last I had seen him which was earlier today.

He gave me a kiss. "No, I couldn't even play the triangle to save my life."

I laughed. "I wouldn't dare to believe you're worse than me. Music was one of the classes I almost got an F in school."

"Come one, it's getting late." He murmured, placing his arm my waistline and leading me forward.

His eyes frantically examined the environment, his arm dragging me closer to him and the behavior seemed suspicious almost like Chris was waiting for an attack to take place. I wondered if Piers had succeeded in speaking with him before Chris left. Out of all the people I ever encountered Chris was without a doubt the hardest one to read, the altering attitudes and baffling acts he presented left me in a blur of questions. Mysterious and fameless humans always fascinated me but I was still searching for the answers to why Chris did certain things. Because he and I were roughly the same height catching up with his steps was easy for me but his strong arm was pushing to hard on the side of my body and although the caring embrace was touching I freed myself out of the armful.

"Chris?" I wondered, glaring at him. The streetlamp were splattering shadows that whirled around on his face with every stride and the enigma around him merely intensified.

"Huh?" He hummed.

"Did you get a chance to talk with Piers?" I spitted out the words, afraid he had taken the intrusive questions as offense.

"No." He muttered. "Why..were you wondering?"

"Because he...was looking for you."

Piers was going to pissed that I lied but at the moment that wasn't an issue.

We walked back to my apartment in silence and the street grew quite to last in an uncanny silence as if all the residents were absent yet when Chris and I entered the stairwell I heard muffed screams from neighbors who lived across me.

"Damn, they're really fighting. Is it always this loud?" Chris asked.

I was struggling to find my keys. "No, it's not." I opened the door and the smell of delicious food struck us.

"It smells delicious, I didn't know you were going to make dinner." Chris said gladly, taking off his coat and I saw he wore a dark-blue sweater underneath, all of sudden a strange sense hit me. I was having my boyfriend over for dinner and from the movies and shows I had watched it wasn't the only thing couples did when spending the night at each others.

"Well, I thought it'd be nice."

Chris looked around, viewing the tiny apartment that was my home. "Nice place."

"Thanks."

I rushed to the kitchen in hope to leave the stiff conversation and apparently I wasn't the only one who was nervous. Really, this could be seen as our first date since we haven't really gone out on the typical view of a date.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Chris wondered.

"Uh, you can take some plates and cutlery. It's the in the second cabin from the fridge and the forks and knives are in the first drawer." I said. "Just for us."

Chris nodded. "Understood."

The table was set and dinner ready to be served, Chris sat down across me and I began to place food on his plate.

"Hey, hey, that's enough. How much do you think I eat?" He asked, grinning.

"Well, a lot from the looks of it." I said with a snigger. He stared at me then let out a laugh.

"That was spiteful."

"Come on, it was a joke."

I ate a piece of the sauce with fish and instantly the well-cooked fish released mouth-watering tastes. Chris seemed to enjoy it too, he ate bite after bite. I was relieved that I had cooked the food well.

"You're a amazing cook." Chris uttered, devouring the last bites left on the plate. "Ever though of applying to one of those tv-competitions?"

I grinned. "Not my thing. Do you want more?"

He looked at his plate then nodded.

"I think there'll be leftovers." I muttered, full and propped with satisfaction.

"You don't even have to dine out because you're such good chef." Chris said, eating his second portion.

"Didn't you promise me to take me to this Indian place?"

"Ah, that place. I'll have to make dinner reservations. Fuck, I forgot."

I shrugged my shoulders, it would be nice to spend the night with Chris outside but I was content with what was now. "We can make time for that another day."

I got up on my feet and began washing the dishes.

"No, no. I'll take care of that." Chris said. "You've cooked, that's enough."

He pushed me aside, taking over instead I took care of the leftover food and within minutes we were finished.

Chris yawned and went into the living room. "I'm so goddamn tired."

"Rough day at work?" I asked, sitting on his lap.

He pushed me away from his lap and I felt embarrassed by his rejection. "Mhm, I can barely keep my eyes open."

Immediately I understood the signs he was sending me, Chris didn't want to talk or hang out or do anything. He kept implying he was tired so despite my irritation with his rude behavior I wondered if he wanted me prepare the bed, that sentence felt whimsical to say as if I was getting the bed ready for us to...sleep with each other.

"That'd be nice. Where's the bathroom?" He wondered. I pointed to the left. "Do you have any toothbrush I can borrow?"

"Just open the mirror-cabin and you'll find I have a spare, it's the red one."

I hurried to change in the bedroom and check that everything was clean, changed into my pajamas and waited for my turn to the bathroom. When Chris saw me he whistled.

"You look cute in that outfit." He eyed me whilst saying the words. I fondled down at the pink satin shorts and the white tank top that I had forgotten was see-through.

"Thanks." I paced to the bathroom, away from the chance of engaging in something I wasn't ready for, brushing my teeth and dropped the lavatory lid that Chris had ignored or forgotten to bring down. I took extra time in the bathroom hoping that Chris would get tired of waiting for me.

Fortunately he was speaking the truth about being restless since I found him sleeping heavily on the bed. He had chosen to take off his shirt revealing the toned, muscular core of his and I could fully appreciate it since he was composed and sleeping. The washed out jeans and the blue shirt he had worn lied on the floor and I froze, learning that he was half-naked but I slowly crept onto the bed hoping not to wake him. This was the most peculiar way for a couple to sleep, we had been together for a week now and I still sensed that this type of intimacy was unknown to me. But it had always been an ache of mine, longing for a loving partner, for the embrace and the relationship I had envied from the books I've read.

And now as I had exactly what I wished for and even better I was too scared, too frighten. But of what? I feared he wouldn't think I'm beautiful, that he wouldn't find me attractive and learn how boring and I was. And that I was a complete rookie to the idea of having a partner. I breathed calmly and was brave enough to glare at him.

His mouth wide open and snoring lightly, the sight made me grin. The fearless captain who was so famous in the BSAA looked so peaceful and guiltless. I noted his eyelashes were long and brown despite having seen him unclose several times. The stubble was still a feature of his and I saw lines on the corners of his lips, from smiling, and wrinkles besides his eyes and on his forehead like he was worried in his dreams.

Chris let out a grunt and moved his arms, frighten I turned around and hoped he hadn't sensed I was staring at him. I attempted to fall asleep but the mere fact that Chris Redfield slept besides me in my apartment in London was alienating. After minutes of counting sheep and trying breathing techniques my eyelids felt heavier yet moments before I drifted into sleep Chris had rolled on his side and pulled me towards his warm body.

* * *

 _Pling Pling_

Ugh, what now? I thought, attempting to open my eyes yet my bedroom was dark and I noted my phone was gleaming, a text had been sent from Chris.

 _I'm sorry, had to head to HQ. Don't know when I can get back but until then I'll call you._

He had also sent the typical heart. I groaned loudly, we had went to bed around 12 PM and Chris had merely gotten six hours of sleep. Feeling exhausted I drifted back to sleep but barely catching up on the lack of sleep my phone rang again.

"Hello, are you coming today?" Nawra muttered in a cheerful tone.

"Heeeeey!" I recognized Lenny's voice.

"Stop that, Lenny." Nawra complained and I heard Lenny giggling. "So, are you?"

"Uh, yes."

Chris would preferably be there so hopefully if he wouldn't be given any time off I could at least be near him. "When should I be there?"

"Well, in half an hour to the least."

"Crap." I uttered and ended the call.

First I headed for the bathroom, not having any time to spare for my usual skincare routine, I wore the clothes from yesterday and didn't bother to eat any breakfast and left the building to see Nawra and the old group. During this part of the day the metro went often so I went on one that took me to HQ in barely fifteen minutes.

Nawra had been clever enough to understand the guard wouldn't let me through considering yesterday's embarrassing meeting.

"Aw, it's been too long." Nawra uttered and hugged me. "Come on, the guys are already upstairs."

Everything seemed the same, the same stressed people rushing by, women and men wearing white rocks and others wore costumes creating a professional aura in the building. Nawra and I took the elevator to level five but before it stopped on the second floor and in went Chris.

"Sylvia!" Chris blurted out. Today he appeared more exhausted and his posture looked slouched.

Nawra looked back and forth between the two of us.

"Why did you come here?" Chris wondered whilst he and Nawra exchanged looks of confusion.

"I..." I began, uncertain if I wanted her to know Chris and I were together.

"She's going to eat lunch with us, why don't you join?" Nawra asked.

"Lunch? Maybe, there's things I have to take care of first. Sylvia, can you come with me?" asked Chris.

"Yes. Nawra, do you mind telling the others I might be late?"

Nawra frowned. "Ok, but hurry, we have jobs too."

When the elevator voice muttered. "Level six, Security Council." Chris nudged me and we left the annoyed Nawra. This part of the building was very fancy, many workers were dressed formally, which made me feel that I was in the wrong place. It was built with the corridor leading into an large meeting room that had glass walls and was neatly decorated, emulating a sense that I was in a governmental housing. Two women whom both wore skirts and blouses wheres one was writing on a clipboard and the other speaking.

"Tell the mediator from the UN that we sent those forces to the Saaremaa with the simple reason that bio-terrorist activity was sighted and reported on the island. Also remind him that before sending military support we had already checked with non hostile scientists that the reports were not of any scams. By the way, have you assured if the meeting with the Finish minister of defense is happening or not? Because I was planning on taking some time off, God knows when we'll have the chance of that when the election is coming up."

The scribbling women who must have been at least eighteen years old nodded and hurried after her boss.

"I never thought how much administrative work the BSAA must deal with." I muttered. "Why did you want me to come with you?"

"I just wanted to see you, I don't know if I'll have time for lunch. One of the heads of the BSAA wrote to me, asking for help."

I opened my mouth to ask what but Chris was faster.

"Again, it's not any information I can share with you."

The two women who had passed by appeared in my mind, she hadn't been so careful, speaking loud enough for us to hear.

Chris pulled me aside to where a fern stood, it was in front of a window with the most wonderful view of the vibrating London. Without saying a word he kissed me passionately. Mainly I worried if someone would spot us but if it wasn't a matter of Chris it wasn't a matter to me either. My hands found his cheeks, then carried on to interlace behind his head and he pulled me towards his body, feeling him more intimately and he let his tongue into my mouth, the deed left me shaky but I enjoyed it. Chris eventually drew back but still held me, his hands resting on my hips.

"Just thought that was needed," said Chris, smiling. "I'm sorry if we won't spend as much time as you wanted but work..."

I turned my gaze away from his apologizing eyes. "I know, Chris. Work's work." I rested my head on his solid shoulder and he cradled me forth and back.

"There's so much I wanted to do with you." I muttered.

"Mhm."

"When do we have get back?" I wondered.

"Tonight." Chris said.

"Oh." I said, disappointed. "Well, I better go now." I left him standing there, sensing that he was feeling guilty but I couldn't lie and say it was all right because it wasn't. He had the possibility of changing things but didn't. In my view it was a sign of allowing the world control you and during my early life I had been Chris but realized that change was in our hands not in others, yet I wasn't going to teach him that because the lesson was something he should already know.

* * *

"You're WRONG!" The voice of Nawra echoed throughout the canteen and it didn't take long till I found the group clung together and seated witnessing a fight. Surprisingly it was with Rebecca and I assumed what would have been a normal lunch conversation had turned into a heated debate. Lenny, Paul and Saro were there as well, not forgetting the crowd of workers who had streamed down here to eat their lunch.

"What is going on?" I wondered, taking seat beside Paul.

But I was ignored as Rebecca answered as feisty: "Why do you have be so defensive? It's my choice and it's the facts speaking not just me!"

What the hell did anyone say that was so sensitive to the two women?

"Veganism isn't helping anyone but soya-producers!" Nawra shouted. Oh, it was an argument regarding veganism. How silly that they lost control over that, I thought, and none of the guys acted out to stop the fight.

"Why the hell are you fighting over this subject?" I asked loudly.

"Because Rebecca actually believes that vegainsm is the solution to every problem and the mere fact she also has to shove it in everyone's face!"

The whole situation was immature and ridiculous, I had accepted one of them to handle it better and none of the group did something to break the fight.

"Seriously, people? Are you really going to let your opinions take the better of you?" I wondered, glaring at them like their were schoolchildren. "I thought you had invited me to fun lunch, Nawra, and I find you fighting."

Rebecca stood up with her tray in her hands. "She's right, I have work to finish." She proceed to leave the canteen and Nawra who was tomato-red in her face left as well.

What the hell? It couldn't possibly be the simple reason that they had so different opinions, Nawra was the funny, cool girl who wouldn't dream to fight with anyone and Rebecca? Well, I barely knew her but I had heard she was hard-working and responsible but now I saw as an immature and hot-headed person.

"Damn, they really hate each other." Saro muttered. "How are you, Sylvia? How's the work?"

"How are you so calm about what just occurred?" I asked, sifting my gaze between all the three.

Lenny grinned at and Paul shook his head while Saro merely shrugged carelessly.

"You don't know that this isn't the only fight they've had." Paul explained. "They _hate_ each other."

"But why?" I wondered. "What really happened? Rebecca and Nawra didn't fight the last time I ate lunch with them together."

"That was exception." Lenny said, grinning. "But honestly, we know just as much as you about why they have an unbreakable hatred for each other. You ought take some lunch now before they start serving leftovers."

"I'm not hungry." I said and left the idiots to find Nawra.

"It was nice seeing you again," shouted Lenny.

I found her sitting at her office, clicking her mouse aggressively and ignoring me. The room was almost empty because it was lunchtime. I seated myself on the chair next.

"What's the deal?" I asked, avoiding sounding to curious.

"It's none of your goddamn business." She responded, not bothering to look at me.

"But you invited me here and I see you arguing with another co-worker for the stupidest reasons, I'm certain there's something deeper to the quarrel."

Nawra shrugged and looked up. "It's a long story."

"Tell me, I have time."

"Well, did you eat?"

I muttered a "no" and she pulled forward a bag of cookies, pretzels and potato chips from her cupboard. "We're gonna need this. And bring something to drink." She muttered.

I headed to the coffee table and saw there was juice so I poured two glasses for us and sat down. Nawra was eating from the cookies and offered me but I neglined and she threw me the bag of pretzels. I opened it but didn't eat, too interested in whatever she was going to spit out.

"I was actually saving these for the ride home but I didn't finish my lunch and I'm not going back there, I've already embarrassed myself." She muttered.

I nodded. "But you were going to tell me something?"

"I was able to find work here because of my brother. He used to work at level three where they do all that experiments things." She began and took a pause to drink."And he met Rebecca."

"How long ago was this?"

"Some six years ago." Nawra responded, nibbling on her fourth cookie. "They fell in love but in all honesty I think she was more in love with him than he was with her, especially considering what happened." She stopped again, looking at the opened but not eaten bag of pretzels. "Are you going to eat some or not because you're making me feel piggish, it's enough that you're the half my size."

I ate one instantly, surprised that Nawra had felt self-conscious that I was more fit than her when I had always admired her beautiful features and although I shouldn't, her remark made me feel better. It was rare that people were jealous of my looks.

"Rebecca and my brother dated for a while and he had just like me come from a different country, and I don't know if you're aware of this but dating isn't something usual in my homeland. Anyway, after a while they planned on getting married and when he told our parents of it they exploded with anger, refusing him to marry her. My brother who does everything my parents tell him to do, acted out their wishes and even if he loved her and tried to explain the situation she saw it was his fault."

I nodded, following the story with every word.

"I can't blame Rebecca," said Nawra yet she rolled her eyes. "But she's an idiot and the tension between them was strict that eventually he left to work for Tricell but he doesn't anymore because of what happened...ok, that has nothing to with the story so ignore it. I had already started working here and even by that time we never got along. I suppose, our dislike grew stronger when there wasn't any reason for Rebecca to like me anymore."

I took another pretzel and glared troubled at Nawra. "But there's no logical reason for you to sit together."

"Not really but she's with Saro and I'm with Lenny and Paul who hangs out with Saro so it's inevitable to avoid her."

"Yeah, but can't you shallow your pride and just ignore her?"

Nawra laughed. "You've never had a nemesis."

"I'm sorry but you're grown ups. You shouldn't be acting this way." I felt like old sister scolding her younger sibling yet Nawra was older than me.

"You're right."

We sat in silence, eating on the snacks as people streamed back to work. I remembered that this was the most boring level and most workers averted working extra so the fact that the majortiet of them had arrived an hour after their lunch break had ended was no shock for me, they were lucky to have Mr. Bailey who didn't care about checking on them.

"Oh, I almost forgot." I blurted out and Nawra jumped. "Is Mr. Bailey here?"

"He hasn't come in today. Is this about the files?"

I nodded and was happy that I hadn't taken them out the my bag from yesterday. "Can you hand them to him?" I wondered.

"Yes, of course." Nawra wrote on a post-it note and placed on her computer screen. "So I don't forget."

Lenny, Paul and Saro arrived too. "Hey." Nawra muttered to them. "Anyone wants cookies?"

The three immediately reached for the snacks and there was no following questions about the quarrel.

"Sylvia, I've been wondering. Where are you from?"

"Uh, obviously the States." I answered.

"You don't look 100% caucasian." She said guttyily.

For the first time in my life someone had noted I wasn't hundred percent American and it wasn't something I deliberately hid from others but I rarely (never) spoke about it.

"Mhm, well, my grandparents from my mother's side actually came to the States as immigrants."

"From where?"

"I don't know, they didn't want to speak about it but I remember it was some country in the Middle East."

She stared, waiting for another answer. The guys were too busy discussing the latest game between two soccer teams who were unknown to me.

"It's a sensitive subject in my family." That wasn't a lie.

"I'm sorry, so so so sorry. It wasn't a way to-"

"It's fine." I looked at the time and felt how my stomach ached for food and not snacks. "I better go."

Nawra hugged me. "It was nice meeting you and uhh, sorry about what happened."

"Bye, come and visit another time." Saro said, his mouth fill with chips.

"I will if I can." That was a lie.

* * *

The only place I was in the mood for eating at was at home so I shopped for more groceries and cooked another tasty, lunch or rather early dinner since the time was closing in on four and I was able to eat my food in tranquility and surmise the past months. Reflections of the training month, the attack (I had to breathe deeply and calm myself as it had remained to scare me), my fight with grandma and my uncles, I should really call them soon, Mera, my completely new profession...and Chris.

My apartment felt quiet despite the loud noise from the outside traffic street, usually quietness and being alone was an pleasure for me but now I merely missed having people around me, I wanted to have to stress-filled life that didn't allow me to think too much and the demanding workouts that completed my yearn of exhausting me. Most of all I desired for Chris and his embrace, his voice, his strong hands and every single detail of him. I couldn't gasp how much I loved him, he was a person I had known for barely three months and thinking of Chris created an unknown thrill in me and I loved it, I enjoyed knowing that I still allowed myself that despite the hardships in life and spite the losses I endured. It was hard though to tell myself I deserved it, that he really loved me or that things could be so wonderful for me.

I went up, done with the meal and searched for my favorite poetry book in one the unpacked bags I had hidden in a closet. I turned to chapter about love I hadn't actually read thoroughly and began to commence myself in the world of beautiful sentences.

 **Unknown poetry,** said the paragraph.

 _You're the part I longed for throughout life_

 _A person I never knew could complete me so fully and holy_

 _So admirable you are I barely can percieve_

 _You're mine_

 _Yet as the snow is melted by the sun_

 _You left me drowning in pain one day_

 _But they say_

 _"The ones you love the most are the ones that will hurt you the worst"_

 _So I forgive you_

 _Alike the sun caressed the sweet ground and promised to hide away_

 _So new snow could return_

 _And just like that I will love you again_

 _Because still I love you and still_

 _You're mine_

The poem had sent goosebumps although I usually felt these types of poems were horrible and before I turned the page my phone rang, it was uncle Greg.

"Sylvia?" He wondered in a worrying voice. "How are you?"

The book dropped on the floor. "I'm fine."

"What was that sound?"

"Just a book."

I felt shame and hatred but clearly I was content with his call, they did care enough, one of them had actually phoned me. My eyes began to produce tears and my voice weaken.

"How..ho..w..how is uncle Frank?" I wondered in hope he couldn't hear me crying. "A..nd you?"

"We're doing good, the shop in USA was a success." He said. "But we miss you."

"I mi..s..s you too." I said in a squeaky tone. "I'm so sorry, I can't believe I haven't called you, I'm an ungrateful-"

"You're not. Even if you're young and demanding, we refused to see things from your perspective." He sighed and continued. "We were too harsh but right now all I want to know is if they've sent you on a mission yet or are they going too?"

I shook my head then realized this was a phone conversation. "No, not yet."

"That's good." Again, my uncle sighed. "When that occurs...call us without hesitation and, do they let you call family when you're out?"

"I..I..have no idea. I'll ask."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Things will be all right. As long as you're fine we're happy but I don't know if our mother is okay, she can't forgive you as easily. Call her the moment you have the time to."

"I will."

"Frank sends his regards." Greg muttered. "And I have to say goodbye. Look after yourself now."

"Mhm, I will." I pipped, my voice still too weak. "Goodbye."

The call ended and I made sure he couldn't hear me because I had to burst out in tears, unaware of why the call had affected me so intensely and remained on the couch weeping and crying until the door was opened and I jumped up. It wasn't a burglar but Chris and he widened his eyes upon seeing my expression.

"Did something happen?" He asked, wrinkling his eyebrows as the lines made themselves more visible.

I couldn't speak and was quiet, shaking my head. Chris took off his jacket and sat beside, pulling me into his arms. If anyone ever had seen me cry it wasn't intentional, I hated knowing that someone saw me so weak and sad but with Chris...him being there was an consolation, it was enough and I loved him for asking no questions and staying with me until I was strong again to speak.

* * *

 **THERE IT IS, AFTER OF A TOO LONG BREAK. Finally! So, what do you think? :) I was wondering...are you tired of hearing about the other OC:s I've created like her old co-workers and the others working as SOU:s and SOA:s? Be honest because if you're tired of them I'll make sure they won't take up too much of the story :)**


	18. Unease and Ease

After my collapse and mental breakdown Chris eventually seemed tired of me refusing to speak and started to get ready for us to leave. I knew he was upset that my secret wasn't revealed to him but privacy was something I demanded, even the two old friends - Sara and Kathleen - I met everyday in school had no clue what direction I had taken my life to. Since the dinner-leftovers from yesterday tasted all right, Chris and I ate in silence, neither one of us even took up our phones to glare at Facebook or Instagram and speaking of it, did Chris even have any of these social media programs?

Firstly his behavior had been thoughtful and it calmed me though his preceding respond to my silence was disregard and I couldn't but bother how annoyingly mood-changing he could be, boys or men when it came to Chris, he alike others seemed to not be aware of respect and uprightness. Yet then as always my paranoid side settled in comfortably and agitated me.

 _He won't like you anymore if you think it's ok to play hard to get..._

 _But I'm not, it's not even that, it's about something private!_

 _So? How much longer is this going to be private? You have to share something with him. Do you EVEN want to be with him?_

 _Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up_

"What's with the look on your face?" Chris wondered, he had finished eating and had gotten on his feet to wash the dishes when I had creased my nose as if there was a disgusting smell.

At least he wasn't a sexist asshole who refused to help with housework and the gesture was unusually polite. Now I felt troubled because in my mind I had been harsh on him.

"What face?" I pretended like things were normal despite spending what must have been an hour crying into Chris' shoulder and another thirty minutes of staying quiet and denying any answer to the questions he asked.

He sighed annoyingly and carried on with the dishes. I checked that the apartment was fixed and messaged uncle Greg if it was possibly that they could look after my home to which he agreed on.

 _Lucky, ungrateful-_

"Is there any packing you've gotta fix?" asked Chris and wiped his wet hands on the side of his shirt. Again, I creased my noise at the childish behavior I had even stopped doing at age eight. "What?" Chris wondered.

I didn't want to tell him there was a towel in the bathroom to use and I believed if I said "nothing" one more time he would punch the wall so I leaned forward and kissed him teasingly, giving him quick kisses on the lips and moving my head back each moment he attempted to draw me into a long one.

"Hey!" He muttered and pinned me towards the wall, irritated yet there was humor in his eyes. "This is how you kiss someone."

His hands searched my hips, finding them and gently allowing them down to my butt and I shivered. It was a private place on the human body and to have his hands there sucked all the air out of my body. I was so irritably inexperienced, twenty-two years old and freaking out because a guy was touching private parts and it wasn't even as if the body part was something more intimate. Chris stared at me, for a while the eye contact was awkward until he tilted his head to the side, his lips pouting like characters in cartoon did whenever leaning in for a kiss in a comedic way, the unromantic motion and the sight made me erupt in laughter, not soon after he began to join in and despite I didn't want to he removed his hands from my butt.

"So the famous captain has a sense of humor after all." I uttered, lifting the upper corner of my mouth teasingly.

"Exactly, the _captain_. I'm still in charge." Chris said. "Don't forget that."

"I think you'd have to have like a type of tag to pin on your shirt, you know, so I can remember." I grinned. "I'm a forgetful person and hey, wait a sec, did we even eat?" I said in a worried voice, pretending my memory was the span of a goldfish.

"Well, you did eat, little goldfish," said Chris as he had heard the note I made in my head. "And maybe a little too much." He poked my belly and ashamed I stepped back.

"Hmph, it's not funny." I muttered because memories of how grandma constantly pointed out the flaws in my appearance followed me into adolescence. Although the statement wasn't true, any negative mention of my image still affected me badly.

Chris saw the hurt and muttered a "sorry."

I got upset over the fact that there wasn't anything else than the apologize, no compliment to make up for the comment but his back turning as he went to the bathroom.

I hated this state, the after-state of having fun to the after-part where someone uttered the wrong thing yet what I despised more was how he had ignored to hug me into his arms and mutter how beautiful I was. The feminist in me still shouted his approval of my apparenece shouldn't be important when that was actually what I wanted, and isn't it one of the things people experienced in relationships, right? You couldn't love someone you didn't think was beautiful or maybe I merely watched too much crappy TV when I was younger.

* * *

We travelled back to work not too long afterwards, Chris was tired from waking up early therefore he slept on my shoulder and whenever we had to switch trains or busses I nudged the side of his belly to wake him up. He looked so peaceful when sleeping and it was funny each time to see him open his eyes, he blinked a lot in a confused way. Like most things with Chris, the small irritations that surfaced during his stay with me in London disappeared the moment I saw the wires and recognized the forest from when I had arrived to HQ days ago, it was time for work again and who knew when I could spend more time with Chris.

It was dinner and so we ate with the others workers who greeted us back yet I noted how some peered viciously at me especially Petra who had decided she would be with Kevin's gang instead wheres the sight of Kevin was missing since he hadn't returned. I shook off the rudeness I felt erupting from some of the SOU:s and kissed Chris good night after dinner, ignoring the possibility I could face the same type of people here who reminded me of Charlie and Matt.

The thought of the two of them made falling asleep difficult and minutes later Petra crept into the room, suddenly my widened opened expecting an attack and my breathing became louder and panted, why I didn't know but Lily turned the lights on and I saw Petra getting into her bed.

"Your breathing is really loud, Sylvia. What's the matter?" asked Lily, who had seated herself upright while Petra pretended to be asleep.

I let a deep breath out, Petra wasn't going to do anything, I attempted to tell myself. How could she hurt me under watchful eyes? Although Lily was closer to Petra, she would admit if her friend had done something wrong. My worry was an exaggeration, that's all.

"A nightmare." I lied, answering Lily's questions. She looked at Petra who still laid down silently in her bed and lastly accepted my faint lie.

The night was consumed by me assuring my paranoid mind that no attack was going to take place and I was safe so the next morning I was tired, barely being capable of opening my eyes and wondering if ever I would receive a good night's sleep.

Nevertheless I went up, washing my face properly which I had been doing from my early teens since I had inherited my father's gene where every member of the Jones family had experience his or her early teen years with acne. I recall how grandma took me to doctor after doctor in order to help me, oddly enough it hadn't bothered me as much as it bothered her but my grandma had always been the woman who insisted on keeping up a good appearance. At the age of twenty-one I had gotten rid of almost all the spots on my face.

Before leaving for the morning's workout I looked at my phone and saw that there was a text-message from Nawra.

 _Still missing your company, I have to deal with these idiots alone!_

She had also written an emoji sticking the tongue out and I understood who exactly the idiots were and figured what Lenny or Paul might have done. I grinned at the recognition I had friends who cared, who missed me. I wrote back that I missed her as well and asked if she had sent the reports to Mr. Bailey.

Chris was nowhere to be seen and hoping I wouldn't have to encounter Mera during this gloomy morning I decided to quit being afraid of meeting new people and sat with Piers who was surrounded by guy's his age. The men who had been in the middle of an conversation looked at me then at Piers who was busy cutting his eggs in neatly pieces.

"Hi...I'm Sylvia." I said insecurely and hoped their glares would end. One brown-haired guy with glasses reached his hand out and introduced himself as Ben, I shook it and the rest followed his example, there was a Carl, Andy, Alfred and Ola.

"Do you know that you share your name with one of the best directors ever?" I asked, joyful they've let me in their group.

Alfred grinned, staring at his buddies. "I'm related to him."

"Really?" I questioned too enthusiastically.

"Yes! He's my grandfather's cousin!"

"Wow, that's actually cool. But do you like any of his movies?"

The guys laughed immaturely and I realized the moron had lied, making me appear gullible.

"Quit the crap, Johansson." Piers said annoyed and immediately they went quiet. "They're idiots, so you better get used to that," said Piers looking at me. He was finished eating and stood up. "Are you coming, Jones?"

Pier's group seemed upset but since their behavior irritated me and I disliked whenever people made me feel dumb I went with him despite my plate was full of food, both of us left the dishes washing-up station and Piers led the way to the training area. He was about to speak but searched the corridor for curious ears, luckily we were alone.

"I think there's something wrong going on here." Piers blurted out. I looked at the pride soldier, why did he confine such suspicions to me? Because I was with Chris?

"And why is it you believe that?" I questioned.

"You haven't worked at the BSAA as long as I have and it wasn't so..."

"Strained?" I wondered. He nodded and we slowed up our steps. "Even if I don't have ten years on my back like you," and Piers had opened his mouth to correct my wrong guess of how long he had worked here but I held up my hand, "...I also have noted there's a lot issues they've been dealing with."

Piers nodded along thoughtfully. "That's why...I need you to find out what's going, on from Chris." He said the captain's name uncertain as if he was reveling that he had broken a rule.

"Don't think I've tried?" I said upset. "But every time he cuts me off with the 'it's confidentail-bullshit', he just won't speak!"

Once more Piers nodded quietly, thinking. "He'll speak eventually, I know our captain."

"Yeah, let's cross our fingers for that."

The noise of soldiers eating and chatting grew louder since more and more had gotten up to eat and rest before training.

"How come you're at European branch and not the North American?" I asked Piers to break up the awkward silence.

"Chris was stationed here and as his partner I had to follow." He muttered.

Piers had gripped his hands behind his back which made him appear as if he was a teacher examining students and walked proudly to make sure no one was cheating. I admired his determination and discipline, although this was an organization who fought against bio-terroists many I encountered were immature or annoying but Piers was strict and followed the rules, the way a proper soldier should be.

Weirdly, I sensed how much I wanted to impress Piers so he would like me too."Wasn't it hard to leave your family?"

"I come from a long line of soldiers, they understood." Piers answered.

"Impressive." I said but it sounded lame, my ability to make myself likable was weak.

Piers nodded politely and we stopped at the lounge where many SOU:s and SOA:s sat and because Piers muttered something and left I sat down next to Lily who was reading a magazine.

"Hi." She said, her sister wasn't anywhere to be seen but Petra was playing pooltable with two other unknown faces.

"She's on a mission."

"Oh," I uttered, embarrassed I hadn't remember she was in the same team as Kevin. "Have you been able to speak with her?"

"No, soldiers aren't allowed to call back, in case they would lose focus." She explained. "Only during emergencies."

"Oh, okay." I muttered and she returned to her magazine.

Things were becoming boring, having no one to chat with and nothing to do so when it was time for training I was glad.

The day passed by without seeing Chris anywhere and I could understand why Piers was concerned, the man wasn't even on some of the trainings, on the bright side I was becoming better at handling weapons. Unfortunately the next day carried on as the previous one without any sight of Chris and I became worried, I hadn't called grandma either but I ensured myself I would do the deed when it was time for it.

On the third day I saw Chris eating breakfast with Alby yet when I was about to sit down with him, he left and apologized about being busy with work. Disappointed I sat with Mera instead who's level of annoyance hadn't declined since I met her. The breaks were spent by texting Nawra and occasionally I stayed behind in the gym, working out. Fredrick had intensified his workouts and more lessons were put on our schedule so before I knew it, I had became just as occupied as Chris.

Days became weeks and I was irked with Chris for quitting attempting to squeeze in time for us, the regular night duties had stopped but secretly I was glad over it since I required sleep from the hard work and pressure we were put under. Suddenly it was April and we began to train outside under the early spring day. Little by little Chris understood what he was doing was mean and instead of finding me he began messaging me and eventually I became infested with my phone.

One Sunday night Chris had placed my night duty with his yet I had almost missed it because I had fallen asleep in my bed until I was woken up by Lily, Chris was waiting outside for me. We were too exhausted to keep up a conversation so preferably, after checking the area we sat down in the lounge and cuddled, we were the only ones put on night duty at the time so I wasn't fearing someone would intrude on our privacy. People were becoming more obvious over the reason that they were upset with me despite there was no signs actually I had received special treatment. I didn't get any extra dessert or a sleep-in morning but still people wanted to suppose things were unfair between me and them and I began to miss Kevin, he had been one of them but broke out his anger before he was sent away.

I arrived to the canteen one morning and found everyone was awfully quiet, first I thought they were going on a strike because of my relationship with Chris but quickly understood how silly it sounded. After eating by myself, nor Chris, Piers or Lily were there I overheard two soldiers speaking how the mission had turned up badly and they had lost a soldier. Immediately I was horrified to find out, fearing the person would be Kevin...sure he wasn't my favorite person but he was someone I somehow cared for. Everyone was called in to the canteen where Alby and the other captains were waiting for us. Chris, though, was nowhere to be seen.

"I suppose you've all heard that a soldier went missing." Alby began and the crowd whispered and my eyes went from person to person, all seeming frightened and I noted how Mera was staring into nothingness. "Lara Logan."

My heart pumped, this was someone I knew, a person whose's face I could make up in my face and I felt for her sister despite my usual lack of empathy. How awful it must be forLily and my eyes looked for Lily but she too, was nowhere to be seen. The reality of how dangerous our jobs alerted a concern, a concern of facing death in its ugly face and, more scarily, seeing how death could take our loved ones so effortlessly and I thought of Chris.

"The BSAA has set up a search-operation to look for Lara Logan and we refuse to believe she is not alive. Miss. Logan is a brave soldier."

I noted how the used the word "is" and not "was".

"We will accept any form of request to aid us in our search if we find it necessary. You can return to your training." Alby said and turned to speak with the captain who had lead the mission, I barely remembered her name but her expression had change from the smooth and calm one to a worried and regretful one. I couldn't imagine myself being a captain, if anyone in my team would ever die I would blame myself for all eternity.

Rather than engaging in a conversation to what could have happened I wanted to look for Chris, why wasn't at the proclamation? The corridor was filled with persons discussing what occurred and I noted how a few were speaking and rushing by. Where was Kevin and the rest from his team? Probably being patched up, I told myself. And where the hell was Chris?

Realizing I wouldn't find him I went back for the workout session and it wasn't until a week later I met Chris yet then it was too late to ask him about Lara. By then I also learned the team were allowed to travel back to their families and be with them for a week, knowing why Kevin wasn't at work.

Life was becoming boring yet stressed, suddenly everything seemed as if nothing ever happened and seconds turned into minutes, then into hours and into days without any awareness in such a way that I had descended into melancholia, things ended up so tedious I missed even Mera. Nawra was the one who helped me thorough the week. I needed her support since I was resented by people or ignored by them.

When Kevin returned and I met him at the canteen but he appeared different than the Kevin I knew. He was cautious and I noticed scratch marks on his hands when I sat down with him.

I was smart enough to not distress him and ask him about Lara. "So you got to see your family?"

Kevin nodded.

"That's...good."

We continued to eat in silence and I understood he was also worried about his teammate. Once again I was disappointed by the situation, everyone I knew had changed or ignored me, I felt abandon.

Kevin's unusual act made me uncomfortable but it would be rude to leave his table so I sat with him until both were finished with our meals.

* * *

"There's only some weeks left before I have vacation." I said to Chris. Finally, since ages I was able to sit with him in the canteen with our own table. "Is it possible for you to come?"

Chris's eyes had a redness to them and the skin under his eyes were lilac. I pitied him, he was over-working himself.

"I'll see what I can do." Chris said.

"How is the search for Lara going?"

He sighed. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sorry." I glared at him and lowered my voice. "I miss you."

"I...I think Alby will grant me a week off."

"He should, I mean, you're..." I began uncertain. "...Very tired. You deserve rest."

Chris smiled faintly, closing his eyes and it looked as if he was in a deep dream. "That sounds nice, too sleep for a week."

"Maybe not just sleep." I said, eating a bite of the chicken-sandwich. "Three's more exciting things to do."

He opened his eyes and winked.

"Not like that!" I said, blushing and happy to see he still had the strength to be funny.

"We can stay in my apartment, it's bigger."

I kicked his foot under the table. "Don't talk trash my place. Your place probably sucks." I joked. He grinned and kicked back. He had a lot to do and I had been annoyed. Though it stopped being an issue, my anger at him, when we saw each other because I believed the time was so precious I couldn't turn it into a heated fight if I brought up his over-working.

"You're actually right, I don't even want to think the state my place is in. Haven't been there in ages."

"We can clean it together." I said encouragingly.

Chris laughed that I figured cleaning was a fun chore to engage in with your partner. "Sure, sweetie."

I blushed again, longing for these week to pass by fleetingly.

* * *

 **Any thoughts? Lemme know! :)**


	19. The Woman

Like each time my life dived into an unpredictable direction, I enjoyed analyzing the current situation I was in and I had ultimately started to gasp my new life as a BSAA soldier, this wasn't something I could retire from easily at the age of sixty or so. These missions would follow me throughout life. Why it was the profession I yearned wasn't to account for any bad, inhuman deeds from my past and if someone would ever ask me what was the point of becoming a fighter against bio-terroism whilst others in my surroundings had their own apprehensible reasons, I wouldn't be able to give them a proper answer. Maybe if I sought to look deeper into my unconscious mind one reason could lie in the fact that my father had worked with Umbrella, a cooperation responsible for creating bio-weapons. It seemed unlogical since I had never given a thought to that fact yet the subscionoes mind had its way to crawl into the conscious without the person being aware of it.

Piers had conceded that his arguments was set from the job-inheritance within his family, Kevin chose it because he wasn't going to study and finding a job in his home town was impossible unless "you wanted to be a farmer" which everyone was, he had mentioned. Mera, well, her own story told itself but I hadn't really known why Chris chose this path nor had I asked him.

"Sylvia, can you give me the headphones? They're in the backpack." asked Chris who sat beside me in the train.

We were on our way back to London and these weeks were going to be spent at his place. I stood up, since he had gotten the window-seat, taking down the bag from the conveyor and searched for the headphones.

"Here you go," I muttered, handing him the headphones and he took them. Both of us had switched between sleeping, now it was his turn. Luckily I had books with me to indulge myself in, Chris had sneered at the books and muttered "they were never of his liking", alas I had learned he wasn't a person I could discuss one of my favorite things with and it led me to wonder what we had in common.

After about three hours of traveling (the buses and trains went fewer times during Sundays) we caught the subway to Chris's apartment, it was the same line I used to take for work because his home was located near the HQ-building, most of the organization's building's windows had the lights off during this late hour yet I noted how the lights were on in quite a few of the rooms.

"Who would be working right now?" I blurted out loud.

"Huh?" Chris said, then shifted his gaze to where I was staring. "I think there's some scientists on level three who's still working swifts or guards making sure no one is breaking into the building." He answered uninterested.

Now, he was talking! Did all it take to pretend to be curious yet not suspiciously interested, just the right balance between curiosity and nonchalance or...he was merely tired.

"Guards? Break in?" I asked dumb-founded, frowning my eyebrows in an unclear fashion.

Chris looked at me. "Yeah, it could happen, people would want to break in."

"It's not like you keep the organization's money in cash there...?" I grinned.

"No," Chris said. "There's information that we wouldn't want to be shared with potential criminals."

"Well, oh."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Eh, no."

"It doesn't seem like you to not get why we have guards." Chris muttered suspiciously.

I punched him lightly on the arm although the move wasn't a typical trait of mine. "I'm not dumb."

"I didn't say that, I said that you're not usually _that_ dumb."

I punched him again but harder.

"Hey, hey, that one hurt. You're getting stronger." Chris uttered and clenched his hand around my upper arm, squeezing to feel the muscles.

"Who wouldn't become the next Schwarzenegger with Fredric as your trainer. Is that how you got so big?" Firstly the sentence sounded normal but then I realized how easily misunderstood it could sound and expected Chris to laugh but he stared right in front of him.

"No." His jaws tensed up and the sight he was emulating felt irate. Had I reminded him of something that was offensive? I could ask yet over the course of these months I had learned there were types of Chris not to irritate, this one walking besides me was one of them.

"I was thinking of cooking something," I said, changing the subject which he beguiled on doing. "I guess we've gotta buy groceries."

"Yeah, there's this market we can go to tomorrow but let's just buy food just this night." He left his mouth open about to utter another sentence, his eyes uncertainly staring as if I was insulted by the suggestion.

"I don't want to trouble you." The explanation came seconds later.

I was stunned, possibly had the case during that afternoon that occurred weeks ago at my apartment resulted in Chris's being more attentive of his words. "God, no, I was just wondering, your idea sounds good too. Where should we go?"

"I don't know, the person...I used to share the apartment with knew all the good places to eat in London. If it's really important for you I'll ask Claire but she might not give us fast reply since she's in America."

Who was this person he had shared the apartment with? The night we had first kissed he had turned away from my gaze when mentioning it and then...he had kissed me. It had to be an ex-girlfriend, right?

"It doesn't matter." I muttered.

Carrying two suitcases and a heavy backpack we decided on an tiny place that sold hamburgers, the restaurant was empty when we set foot into the place and according to me that was never a good sign regarding restaurants, I ordered first and when the cashier asked if we payed separately or not, Chris interrupted, stating that he stood for the food. The idea was to head home after receiving our food so we left with our own drinks and a paper-bag with the burgers in it.

"You didn't have to pay." I said. "But thanks."

Chris took a sip from his drink. "Are you kidding? Of course, I'll pay, I'll always pay."

"I don't like following gender norms."

"Yeah, but this is something...humans have always done, it's normal."

I grinned. "Exactly, precisely five-hundred years ago men would court women by paying for the check or buying them burgers from a shabby night-restaurant in London. And it still works to this day."

"Well...isn't it there a saying that the way to the heart is through the belly." Chris sneered, lifting the paper bag. "Even if the burgers might give us horrible food-poisoning."

"That rule applies to men."

"Hey, isn't that following gender-norms?" He asked triumphantly.

"No..." I began uncertain. "It's...it's..uhm...a scientific study. I think I read it somewhere, I don't remember but it's probably right!"

"And where did you read this?"

"Eh..."

"I knew it's made up."

"Oh, shut up. At least I know it works with you." I said and we both laughed.

Eventually we reached Chris's home. The stair-well was dusty and the air inside felt sultry, a old man wearing a robe who stood outside the gate was smoking. He gave me an disgusting smile but it disappeared the moment he saw I was with Chris. The two of us scaled the stairs to the fifth floor and first Chris was worried he might have forgotten the keys so I forced him to search through all the bags until he remembered they were in the back-pocket of his jeans.

The first note from the apartment I scribbled down on a journal in my mind was the smell, it wasn't ghastly but it smelled like the apartment hadn't gotten in fresh air since ages, the hallway was a mess with piles of letters, leaflets, handbills and jackets lying on the floor, some of the clothes appeared to fit a woman. One of inbuilt cabinet's were half-opened like someone had been rushing to leave the house, forgotten to take something from the cabinet and seized the thing without closing the cabin properly.

"I told you, everything's a mess." Chris remarked while I stood amidst the chaos, having no idea where to step.

He entered into what seemed a spacious room that was in front of the hallway. "Shit, I forgot the kitchen was the worst room."

He wasn't wrong. The sink was filled with months old dishes, garbage that should have been thrown in the container ages ago, lots of paperwork lied on the table and underneath I suspected the wooden-table had spots from food and drinks on its surface. And as I had suspected, the fridge was almost empty, some pathetic-looking carrots were in there and expired milk. The cupboards had been empty and its content was in the sink. I was ready to scold Chris yet wouldn't want to have the nerve to scold him about his own home but how could he let this happen?

Chris had gone to the bathroom quickly, I feared that he thought it needed some quick cleaning before I could take a look at it.

On the fridge's door were postcards, letters, post-its, pictures...I noted one familiar picture showing Chris wearing normal clothes, he looked younger without the rough years on his face and the young Chris had less messy hair, I found it funny how he had cared more about his hair then instead of now when it usually was the opposite. Next to him was a familiar woman with a pony-tail and very grey eyes, her arm was around him and he was leaning his head on the woman's head...could it be her? She was very pretty, maybe even prettier now since this picture must have been taken at least ten years ago. Suddenly Chris was next to me and seized the photo from my hands, then surprisingly threw it in the trashcan which was already full. The ex-girlfriend must have hurt him badly considering his aggressive gesture.

"I..I'm...who is she?" I asked.

No answer and once again like he had done before, his eyes shifted to the window and away from mine, it was pitch-black outside so nothing was seeable.

"Is she-?"

"No one." Chris interrupted. "Let's eat."

"If she's an ex-girlfriend then I don't care but I was wondering why you'd still have a picture of her."

"Just forgot it, okay?" He shouted.

I frowned. "Whatever. Let's eat."

Dinner was awful and quiet, the TV wasn't working well so we were forced to endure a staring contest whilst eating. One thing that was special about our relationship was how when we were upset with each other neither one of us slammed a door and wanted to be left alone. It was as if the two of us had to pretend we hadn't been taken down by the quarrel and somehow that solution worked, after dinner I suggested we could start cleaning tomorrow, Chris nodded silently but when I asked about where I could sleep he muttered the other room.

"Ok..." I said, he wasn't over the tiny argument we've had.

The other room seemed to be his room, the bed had piles of clothes on them and a messy nightstand with a lamp that didn't work (I checked), coins, paper and pens. I said goodnight, tired and not looking to deal with an upset Chris. I threw the clothes from the bed and onto the floor.

I woke up during the early morning, it was dawn and the sun would appear within an hour. I sighed and suddenly noted there came muffed sounds from the other bedroom. It sounded a little like cries and as I ignored the feeling of dreadfulness in my stomach I got on my feet and left the room to knock on the door.

"Chris?" I wondered.

There came no response and so worried I pushed the door open and found him sitting up straight with a picture in his hand and I realized this must be the woman on the photo's room, it felt tidier yet the wardrobe had been emptied on its content and clothes, books, albums and dumbbells made up the floor, giving no clear surface to walk on. I believed Chris had searched through the room in search of something.

I sat down next to him and he leaned his head on my shoulder, his bristly beard tickled my skin. I began to massage his back and we stayed there for a moment, seeing a man like Chris cry was...strange yet reassuring, it meant he was comfortable enough of doing it in front of me and oddly enough, I couldn't possibly love him more right now. Obviously I felt sorry for him but having this connection was alluring and baffling. We are really couple and he incrusted it by showing a side guys like him never even should have according to society.

"She was my partner." He uttered in a low tone I hadn't heard before, he didn't mention who he was referring to because I knew.

* * *

 **Have you seen that there's news on Resident Evil Vendetta? Do you think we'll have a trailer soon? I can't wait for the movie! :) PS: I might not have followed the update-schedule last week but updates will be on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Any thoughts on this chapter? (:**


	20. Reconciliation

That early morning turned into a late morning after Chris had only revealed the woman's identity since I had no response and wouldn't pester the man with questions I allowed silence to hang in the air. Chris breaths became calmer with him in my arms while I was leaning on the cold bed frame. We remained in that position longer than we should have, especially since the bed frame felt stiff against my back and supporting Chris's weight got heavier to support by the passing minute. I woke up the later during the forenoon lying down and sensed an absence from Chris's arms around me, like we had slept the night in my apartment.

Rumbles from the another room were created, I figured he had gotten up before me, where did he muster up all the energy to get up? I still wanted to lie down and sleep, Chris's bed was very cozy but my mind enforced myself to get up and find Chris. He was in the kitchen, holding onto a pan in one hand and his phone in the other. The sight made me giggle out loud because he looked quite distressed but he was also wearing only underwear and an apron that had pink flowers on it with a yellow background.

"What?" He darted his eyes to me. "I'm trying make some breakfast for us."

I raised an eyebrow tauntingly. "And how is that going for you?"

Chris snorted, putting the pan on the stove and opened the fridge which I noted while taking a seat was full of foodstuff. "So you've even taken the time to shop?"

"And I've also managed to hit the gym and was nice enough to let you sleep in and prepare a wonderful breakfast for you."

"Where the hell do you get the strength to do all of that?"

Chris turned around to so his back was visible and I could see his underwear better. "Because I'm Superman." He said, jokingly referring to the Superman-underwear he was wearing.

I bursted out in laughter. "I didn't even notice that, I was too busy admiring the apron."

"Do you like it? It was a gift from Claire."

I nodded, smiling and feeling the laughter warming my insides. "Mhm. She's your sister, right?"

"Yeah." Chris uttered and carried on to preparing the late breakfast.

I was happy that his last night's mood became into a more elated one, although my mind had experienced an uncomfortable security in Chris being upfront with his feelings to me I couldn't help and feel sorry for him. Empathy was a feeling I had rarely experienced, many times I was surprised by my own thoughts and affections towards others because they were never well-meant and in that way Chris and I were dismiliar from one another. From him I sensed how much and deeply he cared for others, maybe I had read him wrong but that was my view. But me, when it came to feeling sorry for people I didn't have much of it inside and didn't care about changing it, so if I showed any concern for a person it meant I loved them and reasoning about how I felt empathic about Chris could only resolve in the fact that I loved him yet saying it to him was a step I wasn't ready for.

Tired and hungry I waited for Chris to finish. He muttered a lot swears under his breath and often dropped a spoon and cracked an egg wrong while cooking.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Chris let out another "fuck" and strained a smile. "It's a surprise."

"I'm not much of fan to surprises," I stated, leaning forward to see what Chris's body was hiding. "It's something with eggs, isn't it?"

"Maybe."

Chris was cutting tomatoes and somehow he managed to cut one of them so fiercely it flew away from him and right on the table in front me and soiled the papers that were on the table.

"Eh, do you need help?"

"No," said Chris who pretended his tomato hadn't just leaped through the air. "I'm done very soon, anyway."

Half an hour later, Chris asked me to set the table but I had to wash some dishes first. I sat down and he served tomatoes, mushrooms, bacon and eggs on my plate.

"It...looks okay." I muttered, poking the burnt bacon with the fork, and ate a piece from the mushroom. It tasted very salty and undercooked. Chris hadn't touched his food, his eyes were focusing on me. I smiled weakly and tried the eggs instead, alas, I spitted out a piece of its shell.

Chris sighed. "It's gross. You don't have to eat that."

"No, it's not."

"Don't lie."

I placed the fork down and drank water to wash away the taste of undercooked mushrooms. "You're right. But it's okay!"

"No, it's not, I'm fucking horrible at cooking."

"Then it's good you have me?" I smiled, holding his hand that lied discouragingly on the table. "I can fix something for us to eat."

He looked up at me, showing how sincerely he was feeling bad for cooking the awful breakfast. That sense of empathy tingled within me and I desired to tell him it was all right so he wouldn't be upset anymore.

"Did you buy bread? Or butter? Or peantbutter?" I wondered. "We can eat that instead."

Chris got up and reached the top pantry, taking out the bread and peanut butter which became our lunch rather than breakfast.

This moment I wasn't the one who was upset, I thought while staring at the quiet captain, it made me feel compassionate yet still there was some other feeling hiding that I couldn't simply touch on what it was, merely that it was new to me.

We finished eating and I insisted on cleaning after Chris, then we decided it was time to tidy up. The hallway was the first place to go, I was the leader in this because being good at organizing and cleaning were traits of mine. Several piles of clothes were created after minutes of sitting down and sorting out the mess, all of his old partner's clothes were in the throw-away pile, I found bags to put the clean-clothes-pile inside and Chris remembered he had a vacuum cleaner in one of the cabinets and started vacuuming. Ensuing the hallway was the kitchen, I started to wipe the empty cabins clean and wash the dishes while Chris sorted out the papers, all in all it took more time than the hallway. The bathroom was actually the easiest, the medicine that was in there were all outdated and got in the throw away pile. The clock was around four when Chris and I decided to have lunch, I cooked scrambled eggs and Chris attempted to solve the issue with the unfunctiong TV, the scenery made me remember how I thought this was a typical fifties-American-family-thing-to-do and of my father's home town. I also recalled the call with grandma, uncle Greg had stated I ought to speak with her and the call had been upsetting, she sounded uninterested in whatever I uttered, but if I knew my grandma well her means were still well-intended and had called me back days later. The conversation was tensed, neither of us spoke of my work or my mother but our relationship was on the recovery road, I believed.

"It works!" Chris shouted and so we could eat and at the same time watch British TV, the only entertainment available in the apartment for us to experience together. When we had finished tiding his room, the clock was too late for the room I had slept in and we were exhausted from doing the most boring thing the whole day that the two of us fell asleep on Chris's bed.

* * *

"I want to take you with me, to workout." Chris remarked the next morning as we were eating, Chris had once again woken up without me and finished cleaning his partner's room without me. I felt a little upset how he hadn't spoken more about her because her death must have affected him horribly but patience was the answer I had learned when it came to Chris.

"Okay." I said. "Today?"

He nodded, grinning. "There's this yoga teacher I go to-"

"Yoga?" I interrupted.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing is wrong with yoga, I was just shocked that you do yoga. I thought you did things like weightlifting or running."

"And who said she disliked gender norms?"

"I.."

Chris laughed at me.

"Whatever, I'll come with you."

The apartment looked much tidier and it was finally visible to appreciate what superb place Chris had in London, although the neighbors were fishy and loud, the place was a pretty lucky one to have in the big capital.

I changed into my yoga pants and a tank top. Chris wore shorts and a BSAA t-shirt. Before we left to the yoga studio I saw a glimpse of us in the mirror and smiled at how much we looked like a couple. The commute didn't take much and we had arrived at a calm street. The yoga studio smelled of flower-scented candles and was dimly lit. The yoga teacher Chris went to was in her thirties and gorgeous looking. Her abs were visible since on her were only a sports bra and very small shorts that shaped a perky butt, her black hair fell straight to the shoulders and every detail of her face was perfect. I gulped seeing her, the woman had shined up when she glanced at Chris but appeared troubled at the sight of me beside him.

"Welcome Chris!" She said in a strong British accent. "Who is this?" Her eyes squinting at me.

"This is Sylvia, I hope you didn't mind that I brought her with me."

"No, not at all, I welcome everyone who is interested in the art of yoga." But when I shook her hand, the grip was unnecessary firm. "My name is Abby."

"Hi." I uttered in a frail tone, ashamed that I was jealous of her.

We followed Abby to a very dim room, two mats had already been laid out and unwillingly she placed another for me but I just wanted to leave. The session began in a seated position, she was sitting in front of us horizontally for us to follow her instructions. Her voice was deep and dark while she was speaking, I awkwardly tried to take after the examples but she managed to find flaws to correct me on while Chris received several compliments. Each position got harder and harder for me to get into, maybe she was doing it delibaterly to embarrass me.

"Step up from your downwards dog to stand up right, slowly, slowly. Very good, Chris." Her voice echoed. "Inhale and reach your hands up, exhale to interlock them in twisted position."

I watched how her arms interlocked in a twisty way and my arms refused to find the right position, Chris was grinning at me since he had done it correctly. Abby had to help me and her cold hands were rough with me and I was upset how Chris was too busy impressing his yoga teacher. The session ended after too long of a time in child position, the only position that was easy for me to follow but Abby had found something to criticize me on.

"Very well, done. I will see you next week, Chris?" Abby wondered before we left the uncanny studio.

"Yeah, we'll see. Good bye." Chris was putting his shoes on and I was ahead of him, ready to leave.

After I made sure we had walked a good distance from the place I began to chide Chris.

"Why did you take me with you?"

"What?" Chris asked. He could be so blind.

I sighed. "Your yoga teacher likes you."

Chris grimaced. "No, she doesn't."

"Yes, she does, why do you think she was harsh on me."

"She wasn't."

"Yes, she was and I know it." I uttered too loudly and a passer-by stared at my upset face, the session was tough for me but not for Chris because Abby didn't even care to have a beginner session for me.

"Do you want me...to quit?"

"No," I laughed at how caring he was, he had so many qualities I lacked. "Just don't make me go with you next time." But I was lying, Abby was very pretty, what if he fell for her? No, it couldn't happen, Chris wasn't that guy. He liked me, I knew he did.

Neither one of us were sweaty and Chris asked if I could accompany him to the gym he worked out at, I agreed since there wasn't any gym I had signed up. The gym was big and a lot of workers in that place recognized Chris and I felt much more welcomed than I had at the yoga studio. Being an active and healthy person had obviously been the most difficult transition I had to undergo before applying to military school but the change of lifestyle had helped survive the tough workouts, and little by little I found a way to enjoy working out. When I was a toddler my parents had taken me to many sports but I never liked doing any of them so they gave up and exchanging the gym for sports wasn't my thing but Chris explained he trained different martial arts, his favorite being MMA.

I even met his personal trainer (which wasn't shocking that he had one because to physically train into the shape Chris was in required a personal trainer). The man named Ali was a old body builder and MMA fighter, he was taller and larger than Chris yet the appearance didn't complete his personality since Ali was polite and wondered if I wanted to try working out with him, Chris egged me to accept and I said yes. The two of us headed for the treadmills and worked on our cardio, I ran faster than Chris and teased him since I've gotten better than him after having Fredric as a trainer.

"Whatever, I can easily beat you at lifting weights." He uttered, panting and slowing down the pace on the machine after I sneered at him and loudly exclaimed I had increased my own pace.

Because I was dumb enough to exhaust me during running I had to lift lighter weights than usually and Chris gladly became the tantalizer yet he offered to help me and stopped to make sure I had the correct form while completing the exercises. After a two hour workout with both cardio and strength training Chris attempted to flee from me yet I pulled his shirt and compelled him to stretch with me. We left the building weary but proud we hadn't slacked off on the couch today, I stopped at a local farmer's market to buy fresh vegetables and cook a healthy dinner. Chris paid for all it despite me pulling his arm away, he overpowered me and handed the cashier money.

"Did you also buy chocolate?" I asked when I searched through the carrier-bag. "And candy and chips..?"

His cheeks turned more red than they already were and muttered something.

* * *

"Aaah, that felt wonderful." Chris moaned, coming out from his shower and he was wet with only a towel around his lower body. I had taken a shower before him and started cooking.

"God, you're finally out, I'm almost done with dinner." I said, steering the vegetarian stew.

He hugged me from the behind, making me feel all hazy at the thought of him being almost naked. Chris kissed my neck, continuing up my cheeks and to the ear. "You look so goddamn cute when you cook."

I leaned away from his kisses since they tickled me. "Stop it." I giggled like a school girl.

"Don't pretend you don't like it."

I giggled more and turned around to meet his lips, we stayed there too long and I suddenly remembered there was food on the stove. Dinner was eaten in front of the TV and the day was a success for me, nothing special had happened but spending it with Chris was enough for me despite his phone kept beeping from all the messages he was received.

"Fuck." He muttered, looking at one of the text messages. "I'm sorry but I've gotta answer these." Chris left the living room and closed the door behind me, returning minutes later. "Everything's a mess."

I was too busy enjoying the movie and murmured a "mhm" back.

"That Bailey guy at your old work-place hasn't been reporting back to us and there's no relative of his we can get a hold of." Chris muttered angrily. "And the search for Lana isn't going well either, the whole BSAA is like a turmoil and it's worse than it was when O'Brian was asked to leave."

Chris placed his arm around me and dragged me towards him so my head was tilting on his chest, I could hear his heart beats. "You're not listening, are you?"

"What? No, no, I'm listening."

"And Claire keeps calling and asking when I'll be shipped back to the North American branch."

Out of nowhere I jolted up, staring at Chris confused. "Are you going back to the States?"

Chris grinned. "Well, yeah. That's where Piers and I should be working."

"But what about me?"

"You'll come, won't you?"

I was liking London and had started to fall for this place, not forgetting to mention that becoming accustomed to new places took a while for me. How come Chris could just make such a serious assumption without asking first. "I don't know, I like it here."

"Don't you miss your family?" He asked bewildered.

Grandma and mom were my family but it would be wrong to claim I wasn't feeling happier without mom's bad mood and grandma's constant complaining besides my uncles lived in London and I was starting to catch up on the years I had missed with them. "Yeah, but that's not the issue. You can't seriously believe I would immediately pack my bags and go with you."

"So you're staying?" Chris asked too noisily. "You're not coming with me?"

"I didn't say that but you have to understand that you can't just make that assumption about me."

"Well, it was stupid of me to fucking believe it would be easy dating you because we're both from the States so you could go back with me and now you want to stay in this dump hole." His eyes were sending out flashes while he raised his voice more by each word.

"I...I..that's wasn't m..y point." I was scared of how upset he had become and the perception I've had about him changed, this wasn't the Chris I knew. "Why are you so upset? And why can't you understand it from my point of view?" I asked, regaining my voice despite tears running down my cheeks.

"Come me with me or not, I'm leaving at some point." Chris shouted, got up on his feet and slammed his bedroom door so hard I worried it would be break.

The day had been almost perfect and this fight managed to occur. I remained on the couch, not knowing where I could go since it would feel odd to cry in his partner's room. For how long I stayed at the couch crying over the fight I didn't know but Chris refused to leave the room and I wouldn't sleep before making peach with him.

"Chris...?" I asked, knocking on the door. "Can I come in?"

I heard a grunt and took it as a yes.

Chris hold onto a bottle of vodka that seemed to have lost too much of its content, his eyes looked teary and he blinked too frequently, I seated myself next to him on the bed and seized his arm to place it around myself without any resistance from him.

"I'm really sorry. Of course I would go with you, Chris." I murmured, stroking his cheek. "I don't want you to be upset."

He only took another gulp of the bottle and I grabbed it from him. "That's enough."

"Sylvia..." He murmured, his head was wavering like his muscle memory weren't functioning well. "You know I love you." Then he drew me into his embrace, kissing me more lustfully than he had ever done.

* * *

 **AND THAT WAS THE END, just joking, there's more to come on Wednesday...have you guys seen the trailer for Resident Evil Vendetta? What do you think of it?**


	21. First Time

The kiss had a special feeling to it than usually, all the senses gave out a more lustful kind than a passionate, Chris's grip was tighter and he began to nibble on my lower lip. Since the room had been heated up from the argument, not litterly of course, we've had my heart couldn't possibly pound any faster than it was doing now, just when I hoped to draw back Chris allowed his hands to caress my back. I remained there, unwillingly tasting the vodka on him and because of it pushed back and away from him. His eyes shout out a surprised look and the hands fell limp onto the bed.

"What are we doing?" I asked, feeling how my stomach was twisting yet there was also excitement and tingling from the tips of my toes to my head. "What is this?" I gestured at the two of us, my eyes were looking anywhere but his glassy eyes.

I glanced quickly and saw Chris ruffle the short black hair that had grown from the moment him and I had first met. "We're just kissing...I don't know what you mean."

I sighed and forced myself to tell be clear about my questions. "Are we...?" I bit my lit nervously in hope that he would receive the hint, at first he still had the quizzical look on his face yet then his eyebrows elevated, giving just a little grin in a _"I know now what you mean"_ -expression. Despite Chris was older and obviously more experienced than me there was still a sense of nerousity coming from him as he sat on the bed, his posture slouching. All of the sudden the room was warmer, it did feel nicer knowing I wasn't the only one on the edgy-field.

"If...you...want...to." He uttered and paused between every word. I glared at him suddenly noticing how awkward the situation felt, the noise from the TV was on since neither one of us had turned it off but the noise wasn't an issue but it rather helped with the embarrassing silence. The whole scenery must have appeared alike a drama scene in a bad show about American teenagers, we were the couple who had left prom earlier in order to finally commit to the one thing we weren't aloud to, sex.

But I was actually ready for the it, especially ever since I laid my eyes on him, the mere thought made me shiver from how stupid it sounded in my mind despite being the actual truth and in the presence the only problem for me was Chris's alertness. He had been drinking and seemed somewhat drunk, why did always have be that he was drinking whenever Chris and I did something...romantic together for the first time.

Maybe he was one of those alcoholics who could manage drinking too much and life work together so the bingeing on alcohol wouldn't look too obvious for the others around him. A person like me with a few "issues", at least I felt there were some, shouldn't be with someone like Chris. He needed a woman who was tougher on the edges, strong, someone who wouldn't sit helplessly and gloat but actually see to things but then again why couldn't I have him? Why the hell did I question everything so much? I loved him and I knew he shared my feelings, and this moment occurring now was the pure proof of how broadly our relationship had developed. I loved him, I really did.

I shook my head and crossed my arms from the imagination that had shown up quickly in my head of how he was taking off my clothes.

"You have to want it too." I answered him back and surpassingly he grinned.

"Why can't you say the word? We're not fourth graders. You're talking about sex to be clear?" I bit my lip again from his upfront words even if he had more experienced than me the words didn't have to be so overt.

 _Geeez, Sylvia, you're supposed to be a BSAA-soldier and you can't handle the word "sex"?_

"Sylvia?" Chris reached his hand and seized my, he gave it a little squeeze but went limp as he noted my faint smile.

The whole situation was embarrassing enough, a twenty-two virgin in this Western culture was always perplexing as I should already have had those sleepovers with friends where we would giggle when telling about "our first time", I should already have experienced the types of sex there are. And where was my group of friends that could at least discuss these matters with me? I imagined myself sitting in a cafe and surrounded by faceless women, laughing over an awkward story regarding boyfriends and sex.

"Viv?" said Chris, trying once more. One of his hands stroked my thigh, I looked at him scared as if he was doing something illegal, my eyes were widening utterly, I was wearing shorts and the touch of his skin felt more aberrantly than usual and Chris had a playful glare in his face. When alcohol mixed in his blood I distinguish that it seemed like his personality changed, no longer was the captain a caring and brave man but he revealed an immature and shrewd character.

"Uhm, yeah." I remarked. "But right now you're drunk and I don't think that's a very smart idea."

His hand crawled onto my arm and he dragged me closer so our faces were only inches away. "I'm not drunk, I'm fine."

"No, you're not." But I placed my hands to his cheek, noticing how soft his cheeks were since he had shaved.

Chris softly kissed my cheek, nose, eyes and a ringingly sensation emerged within me, it was all right if he had a few sips, I mean, he was still clear in his head. His kisses continued from the back of my ear to the neck area and they tickled.

"Stop it." I tittled, leaning my head to where he had placed a kiss.

"Are you absolutely sure?" asked Chris, pulling away and looked me sincerely in the eyes. "We don't have to do this if you're not ready. Don't feel any pressure, Viv."

I nodded my head boldly. "I want this now." Despite his earlier drunkish behavior the kind, caring and fine traits showed theirselves in him and I knew how lucky I was to have Chris, especially as he was what others would to be consider my first love. I was wrong on judging him.

"Come here." he whispered, moving both of his arms to the sides and I allowed myself to settle in his embrace.

* * *

"Good morning." I exclaimed, I almost jumped out of bed. Last night had alternating opinions from my view, the night was a progression further in our relationship and things were taking their places and the changes surely had to do with the event of yesterday. I experienced a feeling of peculiarity, the reflection echoed into a dumb nonsensical sound, I know, and fairly even if it did make matters worse, I did note an enlightenment that had never been detected before by me.

Chris was still breathing deeply despite my effort to wake him, instead I headed into the living room. I had believed that losing my virginity would have felt like a greater deal yet it wasn't like that, the whole idea was overhyped. Yes, I did feel a difference but not in a life-changing way, I was merely happy that something horribly awkward hadn't occurred, what if I had let out a weird grunt or worse...Chris allowed the whole thing happen slowly and in all honesty even if I had only slept with one guy, Chris must be an ideal one. He was careful maybe a tad annoying with his questions but amiable. It was surpassing to learn how he could remain sweet despite being under the influence of alcohol and Chris took all the time to make things feel satisfying for me. Secretly, being the first time it was a waste of energy because I was too nervous but there would come other times for me to feel comfortable, I reminded myself.

I began to brew coffee for Chris and helped myself to tea since coffee was still not any of my enjoyment. The weather showed possibilities of potential sunshines despite a few grey clouds, and London emulated a charming picture. I hadn't really experienced the city, work had taken so much time I never even had time to consider doing some sightseeing. But what was the point of getting to know a city I maybe would leave? The plan Chris revealed to me yesterday was to fly back to the States, I sighed at the thought of telling it to grandma. She probably would go mad to hear I would move across the Atlantic Sea again, and only because a guy had wanted me to. It wasn't disagreeable that letting Chris influence me to move such a long distance is a stupid idea, I should stand up for myself yet...I didn't want to engage in a long distance relationship.

"Good morning, Viv." Chris embraced me then sat besides me. His eyes looked puffy.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked. "I made you coffee."

Chris groaned, got up and poured the newly brewed coffee. "I had hoped it was coffee I was smelling. Ahh, you're the best."

"Is it good?"

He licked his lips after taking a sip, nodding.

"What do you want to do today?"

"Whatever it is you want." He refilled the glass and finished by drinking the beverage in one sweep. "It's weird, you know. I don't have any hangover."

"I've never experienced one."

"Really?"

"No, it's true."

"Damn, Sylvia. It's about time, don't you think." He grinned and winked. "We've gotta let you live the night life in London sometimes."

"I believed you had more sense and responsibility than encouraging me to get wasted in a crappy nightclub, _captain_." I uttered, placing emphasis on the last word.

"When I was your age, maybe even younger, there wasn't a day I wasn't drunk or having a hangover."

I spit out my tea. "Seriously? I heard a great deal of good things about your youth, especially your time serving in the army."

He grinned again, pouring his third cup of coffee. "If you'd met me in my teens you wouldn't be able to recognize me, maybe my good looks but not me."

"Chris," I muttered and sighed jokingly. "I thought better of you."

He walked towards me, placed himself behind me and began to massage my shoulders. The movements were uncomfortable and harsh but I let him carry on.

"So is this the wrong time to say that I think we should stay home and relive last night?." He whispered in husky voice. I grinned and without any words gasped his hand and led him into the bedroom.

* * *

 **I felt so bad when I saw how long ago it had been since I updated, especially since I had promised to update earlier to a reader and TWICE a week. I can't lie and say that time is the only issue but seriously...life got in the way :/ I also published the story when it was the summer and I had nothing to do so I could write all the time. Hopefully now that I've actually updated the story and am getting used to writing often again the next chapter will be up soon. But just one last thing before you click down this page, would you be interested in a chapter from Chris's perspective?**


	22. Family

**Thanks for the reviews on the previous chapter, and for not having stopped reading when I hadn't updated in like a month. :)**

* * *

The man who sat across me had at several attempts shout glares at my direction, I avoided trying to respond to the actions alike him. One trait I hated more than anything was whenever some stranger yielded me unwanted attention and actually believed that staring that amount was acceptable. From the little glimpths I had managed to cast at him I noted how his facial structures were grim, the man must be in his forties yet somehow appeared younger. Luckily the stranger didn't leave the train at the same station, and within seconds I had become a part of London above the underground. Surely up here I was overlooked by the stressed travelers, anxious to arrive at their destination. The sun was shining strong, showing potential of a warm summer and after all I enjoyed the season, just as long the temperature didn't raise to remarkably high levels.

Nawra, who I had getting closer to through our constant texting, had wondered if we could met this Saturday. I figured the gesture would be nice and a change in the everyday-holiday I was having especially since Chris and I had done practically everything together and merely four days were left of my holiday. Although Chris had more days, to his resent, he was forced by his boss to take more time away from work. The two of us had spent mostly the evenings with each other due to Chris had attempted to work more until being stopped, that's when there wasn't an hour when we didn't see one and other. Because London was big and not explored enough by me I had asked Nawra to meet me outside the subway station I had arrived at. She had turned up before me, as usual, her curry lips was drawn into a big smile and somehow my old-coworker maintained to remain beautiful during this early Saturday morning.

"Hello!" exclaimed Nawra and hugged me, she was a head shorter than me so I was almost close to tipping over her when she pushed me towards her with force. "How are you?"

"Great!" I said while regaining my balance. "Where are we going?"

"It's a wonderful bakery down at Soho, I can't believe that you haven't done or seen anything. I mean, you're on your holiday!"

"Yeah, there's a lot of things I might have missed out on." I uttered, following Nawra past the crowd of gloomy faces.

She didn't mind the fact that she bumped into people and had actually seized my arm so I could follow after easily, her goal was to lead me through the crowd of people so I wouldn't get lost. Her attentive behavior was affecting, very rarely had I ever experienced a true friendship and Nawra was obviously a good friend, towards me at the least. There were continuous calling, texting and offers to help whenever I wrote back I was busy (that's a lie, I was busy doing things with Chris and not really occupied with serious stuff). During many moments did I quarrel if ever the reason to why I didn't have friends was on me, I was the problem due to my usual lack of responding or even being the one who writes or calls first, but not anymore. The truth was, I had no clue on how to act towards a good friend.

"How are you?" I uttered when we had gotten on a less crowded street. "You seem joyful today."

Nawra was mumbling for herself, her heading moving in all directions. "Is this 15th Johnsson street...it should be, it says so on my phone but then again it's a complete shit when its-, what did you say?" She finally muttered and darted her gaze to me.

"Are you lost?" I wondered as she had stopped walking. "If-"

"No, we're not. I just need to check my phone again." She carried on mumbling quietly while I took the time to enjoy the street we were situated at, it was a special one for the capital as one trait about the street was its quietness. A few people went past us, mostly elderly and if I had read the right things about Soho from a book Chris gave me about London it wasn't supposed to be this calm.

Nawra and I remained on the same spot until I decided it was enough. "Let me help you."

"No, it's fine, Sylvia." said Nawra, her eyes fixed on the phone screen. "I just have too.."

But what it was she had to do I didn't hear because I snapped the phone out of her hand and read the directions. Firstly, Nawra had written the wrong position which obviously lead to confusing directions to follow after and as she had struggled to write in a new position somehow Nawra had been able to rearrange the GPS:s functions so we had to hold the phone in the right direction instead of the system itself laying out the map no matter the direction it was pointed at.

"Ok, we have to walk 100 meters down this street and then turn right, we'll walk through a park and afterwards there's another 100 or so meters until we've arrived in Soho." I muttered, handing her the phone back.

She looked stunned. "'How the bloody hell did you manage to understand the map? And it's the metric system too!"

I grinned. "Well, first of all, I've learnt to adapt with how people measure things in this continent and secondly you had..."

After explaining the issues, the two of us arrived at the center of the small, popular area in London. It was a hip place for people, it had been written in the book and though I hadn't gasped what "hip" meant the meaning must have something to do with artists and fashion-interested people since everyone on this street appeared to have stepped out of a magazine.

"Do you go here a lot?"

Nawra, who didn't behave as a normal Londoner should with her constant head turning and examining the environment, had stopped in the middle of a crosswalk.

Without any hesitation I dragged her back when the lights turned green and cars began to rush. "Watch out! You've gotta be more careful."

"Don't worry about it, it happens often that I don't take the time to look properly around my surroundings." said Nawra and looked down at her phone as we waited for the lights to become green for the pedestrians.

At first I shout her a shocked expression but it diverted into laughter because how serene she was about it, my ex-cowoker was really a chill person perhaps not in the best way. We carried on foot and eventually arrived at the special cafe that she had wanted me to accompany her to. The place was very tiny and all the furnites must have been squeezed in since walking around was difficult without bumping into someone but that could also rely on the reason that the cafe was full of people. It was a spot for "young and hip" people to hang out, which obviously made me feel more outside than usual. I despised attention and when I accidentally nudged a guest I received a look from them.

"What do you want?" inquired Nawra, her eyes were fixated at the chalkboard showing beverages. "Oh, that liquiorice coffee sounds really interesting!"

I grimaced, two of the most things I disliked combined? No, that was definitely a strong pass.

A young woman with several piercings and tattoos behind the counter asked if we were ready to order, her colleagues were bumping into her in order to plate cakes and pour coffee.

"Uh, do you have that liquiori-"

The server showed an apologetic look and shook her head. "We're out of that."

"Ok, then I'll have the spicy chocolate."

"That's also sold out." She seemed to be getting nervous, fidgeting with her fingers. "Maybe the chai would interest you? It's my personal favorite."

Finally Nawra and I decided to accept whatever was left, it ended up being a seemingly dry banana muffin and water for me, my tired legs were sad to see the only non-occupied table was a tall one without chairs, I had had a tough workout with Chris yesterday where the focus was on the legs.

"How are things with you?" asked Nawra after both of us had taken bits from our muffins. Despite the lack of any moisture I was hungry. "It takes forever for you to respond to my texts...are you seeing someone?" Her eyes searched carefully mine, there was a glimpse of anguish in those brown eyes when they met mine.

I forced the big bite of muffin down my throat, lying was not my area of expertis.

"Well, are you?"

Why wasn't I so keen on telling her my relationship with Chris? Many reasons came to mind but the biggest one was the lack of privacy, that people know of it at my workplace was something I had to underwrite but if people at the largest of branch of the BSAA knew about the relationship could be validated by me? No. Evidently, I didn't regard that Nawra would run around the place, reveling the information yet what if she did tell just someone and the word would spread like fire?

I shouldn't be lying to her so I did the unusual thing, instead of lying I spoke the truth.

"The..." I began. "Don't tell anyone but yes."

Nawra gallantly made a gesture of how she would keep her lips sealed. "I won't say a word."

It was shocking to know that Nawra took time to analyze my reasons to why I wasn't going out with her so often. "How'd you know...?"

This time she smiled. "This always happens when my friends start to date someone, they barely speak with me until they have been dumped or they dumped someone."

Her look appeared nonchalant while she was stirring the chai though I understood there remained a tribulation. Rather than saying "Don't worry you'll find someone too" or "I'm such an idiot and I'm sorry about not answering your calls or texts" my hand reached for my cup and I started to pour sugar in it, there wasn't enough sugar in the beverage.

"By the way, my brother's having a wedding." said Nawra after a few moments of quietness. "You have to come!"

"Hmm...maybe." I muttered.

"No, you're coming. You have to! Who else will I have with me to bull on the others guest's clothes but you?"

As of now, going to a wedding didn't really feel like my thing. My mind had stuck itself on traveling somewhere, Chris had spoken to me about the places he had gone to during missions and although seeing the outbreaks was one thing yet the actual places were different. He had hoped that he would travel more in order to see less of the horrible things and instead more of the beautiful places in the world.

"Please..." uttered Nawra. "You can even bring a guest."

"I'm not sure...when is it?"

"In August, so it's coming up soon and I would really need you to be there..."

"Okay, I'll try to make sure I can make it."

"Great!" She muttered and picked a large bite from her muffin, ate it then grimaced. "Sorry about brining you here, it used to be better than this."

I drank some of the chai, still tasting the lack of sugar. "It's all right, I mean it's not that bad."

She stared at me and I at her until we burst into laughter.

* * *

"Welcome back, honey. Where did you go?" asked Chris. I found on sitting on the couch, munching on a bag of potato chips.

"Chris!" I blurted out. "Be careful with how you're eating, there's crumbles all over the couch."

His mouth was full with the salt and vinegar-favloured chips. "Dwht?"

"God, you look hilarious." I sat down besides him, believing he would put an arm around me but alas, his interest remained with the snack. Something that was special with Chris was how could be so hard-working but lazy when staying home. "Give me the bag."

"No," said Chris. "I bought a bag for you, it's on the kitchen counter."

"It's unnecessary to open a new bag, just give me a little." I reached for the bag but he pulled out of reach for me. He grinned.

"Just a little."

"Sorry, you're not getting any, these are my favorites." Chris ate faster as if I would fight him over it and succeed in stealing the bag.

"Don't be so greedy, just a handful is enough."

But alas, his stubbornness remained. "You're barking up the wrong tree."

"Screw you, Chris." I muttered, crossing my arms and refusing to look at him. "And you used that expression wrong, idiot."

He merely laughed. "I've never heard you curse so vulgur words."

I stared at the TV to show him my anger which vanished immediately from seeing what he had been watching.

"Why are you watching a live press conference from TerraSave?"

"Because my sister is a member of it."

"Claire?" I blurted out despite already being aware that she was Chris's only sister.

The fact wasn't actually shocking to learn that Chris's sister whom I had heard from others had been a Raccoon City Survivor co-founded an organization that aided people in these disasters, the issues I had learned from watching the news on TV was how badly effected poor countries were during or after the events of an outbreak. That's where TerraSave had a hand in helping and fixing the situation.

"Who else would it be?" Another handful of chips was forced into his mouth.

The journalist were discussing and fighting to get a good spot of whoever would walk through the large, wooden door and claim their place on the neatly decorated table.

"Why is there a press conference? Are they going to announce something?"

But the man just shrugged his shoulders, suddenly I noted how he hadn't changed out of his usual pjymas. But he had bought the bag of potato chips today...could Chris have thought it would be a good idea to leave the apartment in shorts and a t-shirt?

Just as I was about to ask, the news reporter, a twenty something year old woman was focused on the screen and began speaking.

"We are here live in New York to hear TerraSave's latest updates. They are known for their non-governmental aid and are an organization who has successfully made themselves heard of within in the short span of time after the Raccoon Incident, one face connected to it is Claire Redfield whose brother, Chris Redfield, is also a co-founder of another organization, the BSAA."

Suddenly the screen diverted to the wooden door where Claire was walking out of. She looked professional with her hair up in a bun, a navy-blue suit and files in her hands, behind her walked another group of men who had attempted to seem as professional as Claire yet failed. There was an wrongly buttoned shirt that one guy wore and another person's hair was slicked back which sent out a sluggish feeling.

"On the behalf of TerraSave we thank you all for arriving at this scene", said Claire as she straighten her posture. The voice was clear and strong. "Today, on the 3th of June 2012, TerraSave will declare the issues from our last records and deliver our latest news reports on TerraSave have helped bio-attacks affected civilians in different areas the previous month."

When I had first met Chris's younger sister there was not much to think of her, mostly I was imrepssed that it was through her I had become a BSAA-soldier. Her personality had been joyful and light but now when watching her I could see the emulating words, the strong voice and clear eyes were enough to understand she was a tough person. Despite Chris and Claire had their differences in appearances I noted how the personality was interlinked through their kinmanship.

"Firstly, I want to hand the attention to Nick Smith who has studying the bio-attacks from a environmental perspective..."

The man who thought using a lot of hair gel would be a smart idea nervously coughed, smiled and twitched before looking direct into the camera. "The study..."

I lost focus and decided to check what was in the fridge instead but Chris's hand stopped me just as I had gotten onto my feet.

"Where are you going?" He wondered. "Aren't you going to watch it with me?"

"Yes, of course, but I have to check what's going to end up as our lunch tonight."

"Well, then."

The content inside the fridge consisted of two eggs that were out of date, an apple and some peanut butter. I shouted to Chris I had to quickly buy something from the convenient store.

"Just be back in time for when Clarie's talking again, that's when you hear them saying something important!"

But unfortunately I had made it back too early, another of the men was speaking. Instead I cleaned the fridge and placed back the newly bought groceries then seated myself besides Chris, he was more cuddly now without his chips. He laid his arm around my shoulder and rested his head on me.

"Thank you for your expense, Mr. Peterson." Claire had retaken the say. "We are ready to answer any questions."

Journalist shouted, and although the questions were different eventually many began the form the same question.

"Where is you stance on anti-bio-terroists organization such as the BSAA being able to enter a country without any approval from the country's government?"

During the latest years that question was a hot topic to discuss, there were activists and NGO:s who decided to distance themselves from the BSAA and it wasn't the only anti-bioterroist organization that operated with artillery that faced such opposition. Since I didn't care so much about what people were saying, I just assumed people had just gotten tedious and needed a scapegoat, my belief was it would all disappear underground but apparently it had not.

Claire's eyes flickered, she was smoothing out the papers while her co-workers glanced at her nervously. I saw how Chris straighten up and tilted forward towards the screen to hear the answer.

"Miss Redfield, where is your stance-" Another journalist shouted as loud as possibly, asking the same question but was interrupted by Claire herself.

"The matter has been discussed within the heads of this NGO as well as examined by our experts in this subject," she began calmly. Chris was staring and instead was now unwillingly leaning too much on me. "We have decided to take a stand away from the BSAA and other organizations as such until they form an contact with each country that allows them to enter-"

"What the hell?" Chris screamed and his loud voice frightened me. "She never told me this in person, she never said anything about it and Claire believes telling me through the news is a good idea?" He turned away and started to mutter.

"But why-?" I tried to ask something but felt as hopeless as Chris yet less angry. This news meant that the BSSA had one less organization backing them that people believed to be trustwhorty and having less trust would be an issue since the amount of failed missions and dead civilians had increased on the BSSA side, the problem should also have been pit on the government's leaders, I thought, but all eyes were always set at the BSSA. Pointing fingers was so easy.

"I have to call her, I'm have to." muttered Chris. "Where the fuck is my phone?" He threw the couch pillows in search of his phone while the phone was laying still on the coffee table.

"Chris..." I said. "Chris!" Speaking calmly wasn't going to do it so I had raised my voice. "What's the point of calling now? She's still answering questions, it's not as if she is able to answer."

Just as alike my explanation, Claire's expression had diverted into a gentle one while she answered the questions thrown at her by journalists. Chris's expression on the other was twisted but I knew he was disappointed by what his sister had done.

* * *

 **Some useful information to learn, I'm not sure there's a "15th Johnsson street" in London and you may have noticed I've given Claire a much higher rank in TerraSave. There's not really any information on what she does so she's like a visual representation for the NGO in this story :)**


	23. The Unwanted News

Chris had been called into the office barely minutes after his sister had announced TerraSave's statement regarding BSAA unauthorized infiltration in countries and he stayed for the remaning night, not arriving back at the apartment until Sunday morning. The look of him seemed defeated - the shirt wrinkled, the backpack hanging on one shoulder and the eyes full of exhaustion, the moment Chris entered our apartment he threw himself on the couch and fell asleep. I allowed him to lay down for an hour or two before waking him up for breakfast, my conscience felt so bad for the captain who tried fixing issues endlessly so I conjured up a lovely breakfast but his disheartened spirit was still present during the day.

Sleeping hadn't been an option for me either and just as Chris left me that Saturday afternoon I had tried reading, any breathing technique and I had texted Nawra unfortunately her family was coming to the UK from far away so her schedule was occupied with welcoming family. The option ending up with me scrolling through a message board regarding TerraSave's declaration, many wrote the most godawful and tacky comments, others attempted to reason, some people were arguing but overall the impressions of people's opinions left me angry and disappointed at what people had the guts to write, a few (or a lot of) persons wrote just absurd things that disgusted me.

 _It's embarrassing that such a strong base that BSAA used to be has fallen to this level of decay..._

 _That Claire is hot af, I'd bang her ;)_

 _i was obsessid with anything that was to do_ _with bio-terrioissm, it was even why I got into scientific researching about the viruses, and instantly liked a lot for the story of the Redfield siblings but now im mad that their dont found a way to bring theyr companyes together because that it would be awesome!_

There were threads upon of messages, fights and statements declared from "unknown research" that I could immerse myself in, eventually as I read a headline that discussed if Claire was having a secret relationship and Chris had broken up with her therefore she had decided to get back at him by announcing the argument I decided it was enough.

Before Chris turned up from work, my uncle Greg had called to ask if I hoped to accompany him and uncle Frank this fall to visit grandma and mom, I declined without any doubt. My mind reasoned that I had work and that was my excuse to him yet actually there was no problem if I did take a week off, however I knew meeting grandma and mom would remind me of my old past that I despise so much. Beside I want that time to be spent wth Chris and if he would come...the shock of seeing my messed up past might scare the man away from me. It was always shivery to think what others thought of me if I would tell them of my past. Stupid thoughts alike that ran through my mind until Chris disrupted the showering and rude judgements I had of my family.

"I don't know what to do, Viv..." Chris uttered when he had crept behind me whilst I was washing dishes from breakfast. "I just don't know anymore, what am I supposed to do?"

Seeing a man in such a vulnerable state was saddening, especially such a strong-willed and admired man who had seen vicious occurrences, a person who hoped for a better world despite the rough things he had seen and attempted to make things change for the better. Chris had the personality that was unusual, it was a one that passed on the possibilities for him to change the world and people alike him were hard to find in this too depraved world. Upon hearing backstories of his past I had grown to form an impression of him and during these past weeks come to analyze things there were certain things I had realized of, as how I actually admired people like Chris that were not afraid of being good or too pessimistic in the view of a less cruel world. I also knew how he had suffered these years, losing a partner and watching the foundation that was BSAA being torned down could even break Chris's spirit, so my eyes were tearing up as the sensitive me always would give a stretched reaction to emotional-looking people **.**

I wiped my hands on the kitchen towel. "Chris, if I had any clue to what you could do...I wouldn't hesitate to tell you but for now I'm as clueless as you. During times like this we can only bear it out and hope for better. " I said, carefully stroking his cheek. "We need to know when we can change things and we have to let things be, this, I believe this is one of those times."

Chris's upper corner of his lips elevated faintly. "You're years younger than me and still much more wiser."

"And you're one of the most strongest persons I know." I kissed him and as I drew back he clutched my arms, staring.

"Did you just compliment me?"

I grimaced. "Is that rare?"

"For you, I would say yes."

I showed him my tongue and returned to the dishes, complimenting people wasn't rare for me, I mean...didn't I tell Nawra how much I liked her jacket?

"And now you're showing an immature side. Is this opposite day or did I miss some memo about you giving your personality a complete makeover?"

It was nice gasping the little things it took to cheer Chris up, often I would grumble on how to make others feel better for days and the solution was rarely a good one. So I joined his playful game. But before I knew, days had swept past and I found myself following the deadly dull routine of work, perhaps the job I had fitted me although I couldn't stop thinking how nicer it would be if I could have had more moments with Chris. If his aggressive behavior that showed itself the day before I was leaving hadn't calmed down I thought I'd have to physically stop Chris from coming with me, his worries and work-alcoholic ways didn't seize to exist. I was secretly mad at how he could want to come to work for work and not for being with me, mostly I was just upset that the feeling of Sunday-night dreariness hadn't stopped. It would forever exist within me. Perhaps the fact of neither him or Claire called each other was a factor as well for the behavior and the fact was one I wouldn't dream to bring up in front of Chris until he decided to do so himself.

Alas, on a sunny, hot day Chris kissed me deeply, finally showing he would miss or maybe he had just realized it by the sight of me with my light jacket, sunglasses and suitcase. The train was about to leave before I departed and watched his sadden eyes disappear as the train got moving, faster and faster so eventually he become a dot, standing admit other blurry farewell-sayers.

The welcome I had at work wasn't one to hope for, Mera was giving her normal annoying attitude another level up and I had just gotten comfortable with sharing a room until I noted all my bedroom friends were gone. They had just gone on a holiday so I would get used to being alone and then again become accustomed to being around others which made performing bathroom needs more difficult than they ought to. Fredric was on his vacation as well, so a new face appeared in the well-built gym area and it was a tougher and more brutal-looking one. Fredric had a nice way of training despite the workouts were difficult but this trainer was emotionless, luckily the old man who was a former soldier from the navy would not stay for long. The meals had gotten more varied, instead of sandwich and soups we sometimes found meals alike noodles, lasagna and tikki masala waiting for our arrival in the dining area. The first night was harsh though, I missed Chris so much I ended up calling him in the middle of the night, he tried staying awake but eventually fell asleep. The next nights I attempted to read books before bedtime that worked because I woke up in the morning with the book beside me on the bed.

Piers was the only person I was glad to see, we learned of each more the days before Chris was coming and most importantly we shared a special connection from how much both of us disliked Mera. Maybe he hated her more, I was just upset over the fact she was still working here. I noted Piers often seen around units of people yet he seemed alone and secluded. But still upon seeing me, Piers would always greet me and sit down with me. Firstly the gesture was nice, especially since most workers I encountered were new ones who had just gone through the course or people who had been on their vacation whilst I was here working and arrived now so I recognized a few co-workers.

Despite the joy over a companion I began to question Piers's motives when he wouldn't stop asking about Chris.

"How is our captain?" Piers blurted a day after I had arrived while we ate lunch together. "I haven't heard much from him."

I placed my cutlery down, Chris and Piers used to contact each other although being on a break? That sounds unusual for people who weren't friends..."What do you mean?"

"I usually ask him how things are going and sometimes he does need help so I do my share to keep him pleased."

My eyes widen at the thought of Piers was doing, all of sudden I saw my boyfriend's brawny and naked body leaning over Piers's..."Eh, what kind of things do you help him with?"

Piers seemed calm so he mustn't have realved something private, my conclusion slowly disappeared. "Get him food, it's mostly take away since I can't cook, clean a little in his apartment-"

"But the first time I saw it was horrible!"

Piers glared and I understood I must have insulted his cleaning.

"It wasn't a-..." I muttered. "Never mind, what I meant is that the apartment wasn't very tidy when I first saw it some weeks ago. What is it Chris does to keep so dirty if you help him clean it?"

"That is exactly the same question I have wondered about for a long while." Piers uttered and took a bite of the meat loaf.

The rest of our conversation continued with me still being shocked over how much Chris abused his powers over Piers and I suspiciously wondered why would anyone help a person so much? The chances of Piers getting promoted for picking up Chris's clothes from the dry cleaner were small, so what were his reasons? I speculated on the question but it was forgotten the next morning because I was finally going to see Chris the next day.

* * *

"Welcome back, how was your trip?" I asked and embraced Chris, he smelled heavily of perfume that was similar to the one I kept in the apartment.

The two of us were in a small corridor that lead to his bedroom, I promised him that I hadn't waited here for him the whole morning but I crossed my finger while insisting it wasn't true. The expression on his face and his cheerful eyes emulated the idea that he had gotten on the positive side, perhaps because he felt the best at work or he was happy to see me. I went with the second speculation.

"Did you have it tough without me?" Chris inquired and opened the door. The men's bedroom looked exactly the same as ours, I expected the room to at least have some better features since a captain slept here.

I showed him a big grin. "No, actually, it was pretty easy. Besides I had Piers as company." Just as the sentence was spoken I remembered last night's conversation.

"Chris, why did you let Piers do all those things for you?"

He was busy unpacking the suitcase. "What was that you said now?"

"Chriiiiiis," I muttered, dragging out the i:s. "This is serious. I was asking why you let your partner do all those chores for you. You're not supposed to use people like that."

"Well, look who it is, the moral train." The man uttered suspioucly harsh. "It was a long time ago, I don't ask him to help me anymore."

"Don't you find it weird though?"

Chris had gone back humming to himself so I kicked his shin. "Damn, Viv. That actually hurt."

"There, now that I have your attention. Why do you believe he actually helped you with so many things, I mean, sometimes I feel ambitious to work myself up some notch but not to the level he did."

Chris got on his feet and stroked my shoulders, his eyes staring deeply into mine. "I really don't have any clue to why Piers Nivans did all those things and I don't planning on finding out why."

The gesture, the words, him seizing my shoulders, all of it made me feel stupid and I didn't enjoy that.

"Whatever." I left the room and tried to hide from him, eventually I decided to stay in a small lounge outside the women's lavatory until it was time for an obligatory workout session.

And that was when the man found me, right at the evening workout. Although I wasn't aware that Chris had been standing behind me the whole workout and fifteen minutes in to it while everyone in the room were focused on doing squats he spoke.

"Are you angry?"

I jumped from the scare and looked behind me, Chris was glaring at me.

"No, I'm not." I muttered and focused on the fact that we only had twenty left of the squats since my legs were burning up.

"You seem annoyed."

"Chris, let me focus on the workout." I was annoyed he brought the issue here where others might see or hear us.

Finally he stopped trying to get an answer out of me and left me alone for the following hour. I quickly took a shower so I could eat fast and avoid him, I knew Chris was a slow when it came to showering. But he was ahead of me and I saw him waving as I was looking for a place to sit. Lastly I surrounded and sat down with him.

"Now, would you tell me why you're upset?" He wondered.

I forced a smile on my face. "I promise you, everything's fine."

Chris noted that he should give up which he did, whenever someone made me upset I just had to be alone for a while, I didn't like having them around, comforting me and apologizing and seeing how I was angry at the person it wasn't a good idea to be around down as it could lead to a fight. Chris and I had barely gotten the time to finish our meals before everyone was called into the canteen and slowly the room had all its workers in it. He was taken aside by a captain I had never seen and Alby had appeared at the front of the room and looked gloomy.

"There is a reason why you have all been called," Alby started and the room went awfully quiet. "There is never a simple way of telling you this but we have located Lara Logan...she had died before we could save her."

Sighs, weak cries and shocked inhales were heard all over but the room remained quiet in the sense that no one spoke. It was as if someone had placed a dark cloud over us, the ambience had diverted into a mournful one rather than a tired.

"The causes of her death hasn't yet been secured but we informed you of this early upon investigating her death since it would be better you hear it from us. Tomorrow morning we will hold a memorial for our passed comrade. We expect you all to be here again at nine."

Alby left with the other captains that stood with him, Chris was nowhere to be found instead of looking for him I remained seated. All my thoughts ran to Lara, I barely knew her but to have seen someone's face was enough to leave stomach ache and sorrowful mood. Immediately I thought of her poor sister, God, how awful it must be. The most odd thing was that she wasn't killed during a mission as it was usual way for a BSAA soldier to die. The mere thought of death reminded me of my experience from it, knowing someone's family member had passed away awoke a pain inside me. I tried to stop tears running down my cheeks in front of everyone. I looked down at the food, my apatite had disappeared and apparently so had the other's. Many left the canteen and only a group of workers stayed. I was sitting alone on the table, hoping Chris would come but I knew he was going to be more busy now since there was an investigation around Lara's death. Just thinking how she was found lifeless spirled a nauseating feeling and I decided to throw the food. The next place for to me to go to was the bedrooms since Chris wasn't going to find me anytime soon but I thought of how I used to share the room with Lara and rejected going there. Instead I stayed confused in the corridor until someone's arms were around me.

"Are you okay?" Chris whispered in my ear.

I blinked away the tears. "No."

* * *

 **Sorry for the slow update, I'm still working on it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter though :)**


	24. Making A Scen

When someone, who loves you so deeply and powerfully that nothing could separate the two of you, finally sees the despair for the first time in your eyes, I believe their perception of you changes and evidently the relationship takes a further step into becoming a more complex one. I had always seen myself as a private person with thick skin, I didn't let the fact that I spent most of my school years in solitude and I survived my early youth with dealing with a depressed mother and a deceased father with a hidden face. But the presence of Chris and the chaos in the corridors teared me open and the tears just ran down my cheeks.

My body was in some sort of a shock and I simply stood there until I felt the pressure of Chris's arms pushing me forward, his grip was steely and his nails were pushing into my arms although I wouldn't be believe it was on purpose. He continued to lead the way, I was taken somewhere new. I wasn't looking at anything directly, different faces flashed before me and no one seemed to care any longer that Chris was with me.

The place I was taken to looked isolated, it had to be an outdoor room with glasses as walls and a cozy-looking red couch with several pillows, there were even candles that could be light.

"Sit down, Viv." whispered Chris in my ear. I did as he told me to though he left me, arriving within seconds.

"Here." He said and handed me a glass of water. I drank it in one sweap. "Do you want more?"

I shook my head, my hands were needlessly grasping the glass too harsh. "How did you know?"

Chris leaned back and massaged his head like there was something else bothering him than a distressed girlfriend. We remained in silence together and sensed the thick tone grow.

"How did you know that it wasn't first time I lost someone I knew, Chris?" I asked again. "You seem to be really good at handling these situations and recognizing them."

Chris sighed. "I've seen that look before. I know what it means to lose someone."

"On whom?" I blurted out and suddenly the picture of his partner showed up in my head.

"Me." Chris uttered. "And the previous partners I had, and too many from my team. The way your eyes squint and seem all watery, how you looked twisted in sorrow, that's the things that stay with you after the outcome of a mission, I've seen the horror on someone's face who know that their death is nearby. It is always there, Viv." He didn't specifically mention the woman, I noted.

I closed my eyes briefly. His words spoke to me although not the ones of losing teammates, not how Chris had revelved it to me, despite I knew those experiences were creeping up on me. But I knew of the bitter feeling, the sadness, the hollowness and there was a connection that brought him and I closer. We had walked in each other's shoes and nothing could break such a strong bond. As I turned my gaze to him, a sudden strong feeling occurred alike the world was twisting and turning, no matter how silly it sounded: the affection was strong.

"Can't we just stay here? I don't know if I can go all the way back to our rooms." I actually didn't want to sleep alone but for a reason that wasn't something I wanted Chris would know.

 _He must think you're too weak for this profession._ An annoying voice stated inside my mind.

We crouched together in the couch. My head rested on his chest I could hear the beating of his heart, it was calming. I only needed to close my eyes once to fall asleep.

Though I was awaken too early, Chris tried getting us back to the dormitories before everyone would gather in the canteen. No one was up and I supposed many found it hard to sleep after yesterday's news so they took the time to sleep during the morning. I crept into my bed and Chris left me. There wasn't much to do since I had slept enough last night so I fell into the world of a fantasy book. The story was so fascinating and around twenty pages of the book was left when I saw the time, realizing there wasn't much left until the ceremony would begin. I changed from yesterday's clothes to more dark ones and hurried to where everyone had gathered, Mera noted me and waved to me. I saw Piers unwillingly sitting at the same table, there was traces of anger in his face.

All the captains were facing us **,** Alby looked the most distressed out of his nine other colleges, his hair was slicked back but I supposed it wasn't gel holding it back and his posture was unusually slouchily.

Alby murmured and the room went quiet, the focus was on him now.

"Lara Winters was only nineteen when she left this world, it was a loss to us and her family and friends but to the world as well. As a soldier in this organization our focus is on recusing lives and that was exactly what Miss. Winters was supposed to spend her life doing. Her childhood tells us of stories of her good and brave heart, her adolescence of the inspiring determination and focus that could change the world but alas, we will never live to see what she would have become although in our memories she will never leave us. Let her memory strengthen you."

The speech seemed well-written, I had trouble understanding what he meant by all those things about her "determination" and "brave heart" as he probably never even spoke to her. Personally I found it hard to understand why he was giving a speech when there should be someone who knew her better and told the truth about her. I never enjoyed how people embellished a person at their funeral, by doing so isn't giving justice to the person who passed away but painting a picture that didn't exist and therefore remembering someone different.

"Kevin Johnsson, was with Lara during the mission, and has requested to share some words about her with us." said the blonde captain whose name was Emma and who had lead the team.

The sight of my old companion was alluring, Kevin had changed so much yet I couldn't put my finger to it. He walked slowly forward, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, clothes that even here were the unaccepted to wear for work. The man used to have a positive glow around him and it was gone.

"La-aaara..." He muttered. Luckily I sat close by so I heard him but I supposed the others in the back had to make an effort to hear him. "She wasn't supposed to die...she...she saved my life and...and." Kevin stopped as tears ran down his cheeks. It was understandable that the first mission had taken a toll to him, but the longer time had spirled from the mission the deeper he had dived into a pit of despair it appeared. The whole scen felt uncomfortable.

Alby had angered eyes and I could see how he was cleansing his fists so much the blood veins were showing clearly.

"I...I think you should know the truth," said Kevin and his voice got louder. "THE BSAA KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO LARA BUT THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP HER, THEY LIE AND THEY'RE ALL LYING TO YOU."

Chris and another captain tackled down Kevin who was screaming from the top of his lungs, people began muttering and someone even had the guts to shout "Let him speak", to which another person responded "SHUT UP".

"Poor guy, he lost it, hasn't he." Mera muttered nonchalantly as she viewed her nails. "It only got worse..."

"What do you mean?"

Alby was forced to shout so his voice wasn't overpowered by Kevin's. "The ceremony is over, breakfast will be served in half an hour."

"Come on, let's grab good places in the lounge, this bench is uncomfortable." Mera said. I supposed she wanted me to follow and I did because I wanted to hear what was the problem with Kevin, Piers tagged along, which was a surprise.

Other soldiers had beaten us and taken the best seats, the two couches near the book shelf no one touched that was placed in a good distant from the pool table and the rest of the couches, therefore we plumped our butts on couches in front of the open entrance. Mera who usually had no sense of manners or respect put up her feet on the coffee table so they faced Piers's face who had a irritated look on his face, it looked like he was trying not cough.

"So." I uttered when I got enough of watching Mera removing dirt under her nails and Piers trying to restrain himself from lashing out at my partner. "What was it you were saying about Kevin becoming insane?"

"Yeah, what was that?" Piers stated and grating his teeth. He was still angry about Mera's feet on the coffee table.

Mera decided to take time and wait to reply. "He made a scen. I mean, you should have seen it, it was fucking wack. After the incident as our wonderful captains want to call it, he was granted permission to visit family and the outrage was blamed on the strain from losing a team-mate but seriously there was something else than that, I promise you, not once have I ever seen such a scen made by a BSAA soldier."

"What did he do?" Piers was leaning forward, listening attentively as if he hadn't been pissed off earlier at all.

I muttered: "Weren't you here?"

"No, I had a week off because there was over-time on my schedule from last month so they forced me to go", said Piers angrily.

"You're like a mini-version of Chris." I murmured.

"What did you say?" Piers asked unsure, one eyebrow raised over his hazel eye and looked handsome. If I was in high school I would undoutbly have a crush on Piers, but really who wouldn't?

"Hellloooo," Mera uttered, "don't you want to hear what Kevin did? Or are you just going to waste my time?"

We both turned, quiet, to her as obedient students.

"So, it happened during a workout, by the way our new trainer...am I the only one who thinks he really looks like Sean Connery? I mean, I'm not usually good at faces but like honestly the resemblance is so real-"

"MERA." I disrupted angrily.

"Fine, fine. So it was a brutal workout, he had us do burpees so I really understand why someone would turn crazy from that. Anyway, when we were stretching Kevin overheard a few of the guys discussing who of the Winter sisters was the hottest and he snapped. He threw himself over the guy, I think his name's Axel and started fighting him and, like Kevin is good at fighting. He got really good after that failed mission so the Alex guy, I mean, Axel was pretty beaten despite they pulled Kevin apart from him just two seconds after."

"He deserved it, for being such disrespectful idiot towards a fellow comrade like that." Piers stated angrily, his eyes had been shouting flames while Mera had spoken. "What kind of moron does that? Show respect for the missing person!"

Mera laughed. "It's impossible to believe that you're a guy, Piers. Honestly, every guy I've met acts like that. It's in their nature to act like a docuhebag."

Piers glared and I was ready to stop him from attacking the taunting Mera. "That's a lie. Not every guy is an idiot like Axel."

"Aw, don't play pretend. Women see through that shittalk." Mera stated then turned to me. "Sylvia, haven't you ever caught Chris staring at another woman? Haven't he said some pretty stupid things about them too? She has a boyfriend so she knows, am I right, Sylvia?"

"No, actually. I have never caught Chris checking out another woman." That was mostly because we rarely had gone out together but I hoped I was telling the truth. "He's really decent."

Piers smiled triumphantly. "That makes two of us which proves you're wrong."

Mera grinned. "That's two guys out of like tre billion and a a half. And when it comes to Chris, you just wait...I've heard things about him that would shock even little Piers here."

"Shut up." Piers finally stomached to utter. Insulting his captain was a line she had crossed. But her statement settled an reaction in me, Chris had himself spoken about his "old ways" and I was afraid of what it meant for us, my confidence with men was weak and Chris was a guy who easily could have anyone he waned.

"Whatever you say, sweetie." Mera had won this round as she jumped up and winked. "I'm hungry."

Suddenly everything about Lara Winter's death wasn't vital even if the memorial had taken place merely minutes before, my state was in a mixture of feeling bad for not paying respects about Lara, worry about Mera's word and shock from what had occurred with Kevin. It seemed as the the talk about our friends's death was completely forgotten.

"The stupid thing about Mera is that when she says things about men in that way, it's almost as she's justifying their actions." I uttered after a moment of silence.

"What?" Piers asked, I noted how he had kept his gaze at Mera. "You're right, she's really good at pulling at your nerves."

"That wasn't what I said..."

Piers got up. "Life continues, even if we're still surrounded by morons and people like Lara are the ones who dies." His words were awfully rough, although I saw his frustation with how people took this work like it was nothing, and the fact that he was one of the few who actually was a serious and hard worker. And with that I attempted to remind myself everyone was going through something tough and headed for the canteen for breakfast.

* * *

 **Since you've been great with reviews on the older chapters and kept reading despite slow updates...I can promise that something exciting will happen soon or two exciting things..:) But until then, what did you think?**


	25. The Past Is an Untamed Thing - FLASHBACK

The stiffness of a dry and cold air together formed an unlikely will for the man to settle down on a bench exactly outside the bar he had spent the night at, whimpering and drinking until the kindly, yet worried bartender had decided it was prime time for the place to close. In the broad-shouldered man's hand was a bottle of vodka and in the other a picture, it seemed as if he was hollowing over an issue, an event that left the man in pieces as his face was wrinkled in anguish and despair. Just minutes ago, before the bar had closed, the phone in his jacket had buzzed loud enough to disturb the other people sitting in the bar but the man held no concern about other's views. The phone buzzed for a good ten minutes until it stopped. Now in the cold air, his hands were freezing, maybe he should check who the person was in case of someone calling regarding work, alas it wasn't, the person calling was his sister. The strong-willed and fearless little sister had turned into a constant annoying thought that ringed in the back of his head, she was the last of his family and these days were doubtlessly the days that ought to be spent with family. At the presence he only desired solitude, the sweetness of not being bothered with socializing, listening and having someone to listen to the dark thoughts was perhaps needed, yet how the hell could he spit out the troubles out of his mind? They had existed there for a long while and after the incident, the bad thoughts merely increased as the rudeness of time passing continued and resulted in heavily drinking, working and smoking. The mention of cigarettes made him reach for the backpocket, it would sit fine with a smoke, he figured. Shockingly, the pack was empty and distressed he got on his feet to find the nearest small shop to purchase cigarettes, the idea of a withdrawal from the tobacco rolled killers tasted bitter in the mouth. Besides why should he care about his health now that all he had desired to do was done and gone with the person he loved?

Chris Redfield continued on the pavement leading to a trafficked road, despite the hour being late the city was New York and always living therefore not long after walking, he found a tiny shop selling sweets, over-the-counter-medicine and, as he had hoped, cigarretts. He threw the empty vodka bottle in the trashcan outside before going in.

The owner, as they usually looked like, was in his late fifties and had a grey mustache. Rings under his eyes showcased the results behind the store's opening hours which was a twenty four seven open store.

"I'll have a pack of those," uttered Chris, pointing at the Marlboro.

The man reached with a sluggish hand for the red pack and threw them on the counter. "That will be nine dollars." muttered the old man.

A ten dollar bill was placed on the counter. "Keep the change."

Chris immediately seized a cigarette as he stepped outside, lighted it and stared into thin air as people passed him. Some with smiles, laughing with friends, others walked by passionately staring into their partner's face as he or she spoke whilst others rushed past to the subway station located some feet away.

"How the fuck am I going to get through all of this shit?" Chris remarked with the lit cigarette in his mouth.

* * *

 **I just wanted to post something and found this little text I had written a while ago, also there is a chapter coming soon...:) But please, tell me what did you think of this chapter? And the last one if you haven't commented on that! ^_^**


	26. Trapped

"Chris! You've gotta report to Alby, there's something, I can't tell you and...and you...just go now!" A dark-haired guy with glasses shouted very aloud despite being close to us, Chris and I were sitting in the canteen enjoying lunch. The guy was clearly stressed in which Chris noted and got up on his feet without hesitation. I sat alone, finishing my lunch, left feeling satisfied with day despite Chris's having to dump me until Mera came across my view.

"OMG, I fucking finally found you. Where were you?"

I saw her stressed face and realized she had to be angry, this had to do something with Chris being called to Alby otherwise Mera wouldn't be so stressed. "I was eating, just as everyone else should be doing..."

"Whatever!" Mera screamed. "This is serious, we're heading on a mission, change your clothes and we'll meet you at the large hall, okay?"

Her words came as a shock and I didn't know what to do. "SYLVIA!"

"Yes, yes."

I hurried to the room where everyone's clothes, weapons and such was located, the room was prepared in case of a mission so the soldiers could change into the outfit BSAA:s soldier wore, it seemed as if I was the last one changing. I felt how my arms and legs went weak, my head buzzing with questions and I wanted to throw out.

 _Calm down, it's all right. Chris is going to be with you_. A voice in my head insured.

But how could it be calming? Now I suddenly understood what a stupid idea it was to have a close person working at the same job if it was the job I had, at the same time I was figuring out what Mera meant by the large hall.

 _Come one, Sylvia. You've trained for this._ Another voice suddenly made itself heard.

So much was going on that I left the changing room and ran past the empty corridors to my dorm, someone was coming after me but I had no care for that, instead I continued and saw to it to wash my face with cold water and kept splashing it until I heard a bang on the door and it being opened micro-seconds after.

"Why did you come here?" Piers asked confused, yet didn't wait for answer. "Are you ready?" He seemed calm and was in his gear, he even had his weapon with him.

"I thought getting the groups ready for mission weren't so irregular and unorganized." I uttered, there ought to be a speaker that called for the persons, not having the partners run after each other.

"It used to be. Chris told me to check for you."

I froze at the acclaim of everything _used_ to being organized. "What 'used to be'?" I angrily wondered.

"Don't worry about it now, the BSAA still works fine doesn't it?" Piers patted me one the back but they were two slow stiff pats. "Ermh, but Chris said we should go together."

"And where's Mera? Isn't what you're doing now her role?"

Piers didn't seem to be comfortable that I was commenting how the organization operated, his eyes were squinting at me. "It's not really the time to question a person's behavior who you know well."

I took a deep breath that sounded shaky and rustling as I tied the knots on my boots. "You're right, let's..."

"...go." Piers finished the sentence for me. "I'm with you on that one."

We left the room that I had shared with Lara, the person who went on the last mission and was now deceased. I hadn't even left the safe building, I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know how many people would be on the mission here but I already saw life in a different way, in a precious way which I hadn't known of before.

* * *

It was at the London Bank. Robbers had let in small BOW:s and HQ had made an analysis that showed the BOW:s originated from small lemurs. Mera laughed loudly when the report was given, she muttered it would be a good change to shoot small monkeys instead of humans. I, however, was busy trying not to scream from the sweat and worry. The team decided to send in only three pair of partners, Mera and I, Chris and Piers and two other guys who introduced themselves as Robert and Tom.

Everyone seemed to be fairly calm besides me, especially as they heard the BOW:s were an small amount and quite small animals, we were sent in a helicopter which was the first for me to ride in one of these vehicle. The worry of the new forms of BOW:s being contagious was large and therefore we had to focus on saving civilians and eradicating any of the BOW:s. Chris had no time to look after me, he was the captain in this team, it was his job to make sure we survived this, not that anyone seemed to worried about that. My own nerves, however, disappointed. All the time I spent trying to keep myself in focus, the times I thought I was a mentally strong person had come to be tested. This was it, I figured. If things went badly but I would survive I would change jobs, maybe go back to HQ or back to college. If things went well I would stay and work myself up so I would be a captain like Chris.

 _This isn't "flipp a coin" decision, Sylvia._

 _It doesn't matter, as long as it helps you to focus, it doesn't matter._

"We're almost at the location." The pilot stated. I looked out the window and saw the vibrant London. Smoke was arising from a high building near one of the bridges, it was the Bank.

"Get ready, soldiers." Chris was speaking into the microphone since the sound of the helicopter was loud. Everyone's communication system was located to the earpieces I had learnt about at the training center, I went through all the lesson we had learnt from Rama and Samir yet the problem was you could never prepare someone for a happening like this.

It happened within minutes, seconds, it happened so fast I couldn't comprehend my senses were making something out the mess, it happened so fast I already saw ourselves getting back on the helicopter to get back to our base.

We landed on the rooftop and Chris got out first, everyone else followed. He kept talking to someone through a transmitter, Piers went before him and the guys went to the side so Mera and I followed at the back. The group rushed down the stairs, our weapons raised to fire if danger shows itself, the highest floor was empty so we continued to the next and again nothing was found. I threw a look on Chris, he had a focused gaze, just like Piers and Mera and the others. I wasn't familiar with the two guys but their solid and clear voices was a sign they've done this before and were confident with it. I was the newbie.

At one of the middle floors we heard a scream, a woman in a dressuit pointed at the door where she had come from, she threw herself on Mera who tried to talk sense into her. What had made the woman scream, made me want to scream as well. Inside the room were men and women, dead or half alive being eaten by the BOW. I sezied my gun and shot at the closest one. I didn't think of anything, I just shot out of fear and disgust from the smelling, rotting corpses. Mera said something that the woman had followed the emerangacy exit where all the workers had went, she had tried to stop her but she ran away. Chris therefore gave new instructions, him and I would only look for survivors while the others took out the BOW. Piers protested but Mera told him to shut it.

I was quiet, in a state of confusion and Chris yelled for me to follow. I trembled over a body, half the man's face was eaten, the dead BOW lying beside him and a force in my throat pushed today's lunch out. Mera made gagging noises and Chris helped me up. I kept muttering "sorry" but still followed after him.

We continued through the stairs to search for the woman. Most of the workers had evacuated, I didn't know why the ones who had become food for the mutated lemurs statyed.

"Sylvia?" Chris asked. "Are you okay?"

"I..."

A new voice spoke into the earpieces. "Unit London Bank, listen, there are maybe fifty of the BOW:s at the second and third floor, that's also where the money is and that's where you have to be careful."

"Thanks, Rebecca, do you have any vision of civilians?"

"I'm looking at the picture from the thermocamera being sent in right now and...no. The only ones I can see are you guys."

"What the hell? I thought this was done by bank robbers, have they already left?"

"I don't know but the the cops outside have reported one of the BOW breaking out of the building, you have to kill them before they reach London, Chris!"

"You're right...Chris, out." He said then turned to me. "Sylvia? Are you with me?"

I nodded, afraid if I opened my mouth more vomit would come out.

"Good, don't quit on me."

Rebecca, who I suspected was the Rebecca I had met at HQ, interrupted us again. "Chris, there has been a sighting of a woman in the elevator on the tenth floor, it has stopped so it must be broken."

"Ok, we'll check it out."

"Right, Rebecca out."

Chris saw to it to take no leave no time and ran down, I followed after even if my legs started to burn until we saw the number ten on the door. This was another fancy floor but no sight of BOW or people were sighted. The elevator was on our right side and Chris pressed the button for it to open. It didn't.

"I think we have to find a way to open the door." Chris said.

"How?" I finally said, although it might had been unnecessary comment.

"We break the lock." He pointed his machine gun at the push buttons and shot, surspringsly it worked and the door opened. Chris raised his gun as the doors slid open, there wasn't anyone inside but a trace of blood was on the floor, we walked slowly forward to investigate. Suddenly the doors closed as we had stepped in.

"What the hell?" Chris stated and punched the door out of nowhere. "Someone must have done that, I don't think-"

The sound of my machine gun scared him, I had spotted a creature banging on the metall roof of the elevator. "Is it dead?" I wondered as the banging had quit.

"Must be, it's good that you noticed it." Chris tried to smile. "You know-"

"Don't try to pretend I can handle this, I'm quitting as fast as we get out of here." I tensed my jaw from trying not to weep, it would be inappropriate and only conform the view my boyfriend had to have of me.

"No, you're not. You just haven't seen your potential yet." Chris said thought stared at the floor. Apparently the focus was lost because of my childish behavior.

"They were dead. People, Chris! Women and men, just like me and you and those, those...things were eating off them!" I wept. "The image and smell will never leave my memory, I'm such an idiot, why am I even here? What have I done?"

He embraced me, rocking me to the sides as I cried.

"Chris!" Mera shouted in the ear piece. "Most of the BOW are dead, they weren't well created we believe since many of them just collapsed. Where are you?"

"Sylvia and I are locked in an elevator, that woman is believed to be dead, have you checked all the floors?"

"Yes, and we have to leave since they are planning on sending in rat poison through the ventilation to kill the remaning creature but that's an issue now that you've trapped in the elevator." Mera was almost titter as she spoke the last sentence. "Report back to HQ, captain, and we'll make another check of the place, all right?"

"Good idea, Mera. Chris out."

I stepped back, turned around and wiped the tears away as Chris took the responsibility to inform authorities.

"They said some firemen are coming in to take us out of here." He said. "It's going to be all right, Viv."

"Mmh."


	27. Uncertainty

"We're probably gonna be stuck here for a while, the others have to make sure every BOW is dead and then there's the trouble of getting us out of here, it's real tall fucking building."

I laughed at his casualty, as if we have been locked into a store and not in one of the currently most dangerous places to be at in London. "Mhm."

"You're quiet."

"Mhm, well, it's mainly because I'm rethinking my life choices. It's just things like should I start eating an egg everyday, stop wearing clothes made from polyester, change my job...? Normal things like that you know."

"I can't imagine myself having this job without you Sylvia." Chris stated, his eyes weren't willing to look at me and I thought back at the training center when making eye contact with him used to be so unusual. "And to be honest with you, I was feeling the same thing. Claire...kept telling me that I was letting this job consume and she was right. I made a promise to myself to quit right after the training center but I met you and I'm still here."

"Wait, you're trying to keep me here by making me feel bad about you staying just for me?" For a reason the sentence ended with me laughing, I suppose it was from the events that had just occurred.

"No, no, no, no, not at all!" His arms clutched themselves around me, he rested his forehand against mine, sighing. "I haven't loved someone like you for a long while. And I don't know how I could get another job, I want to support us-"

I stepped back. "Finance isn't any issue and it's not that hard to another occupation."

"Then I don't know, I guess you're right, everyone but me is. I'm too attached to this work but you know what I've put my entire life into this, more than anyone else can say they have and I've lost people so it's not a surprise that I'm not applying for other jobs."

"Again, enough with making me feel bad-"

This had become the aspect where his voice got louder. "I'm not making you feel bad!"

"Then why are you telling me this now?"

"I don't know."

"Right, okay, and I have no idea why I'm here, and I already feel like an idiot so really let's just talk about something else or not at all!"

"You started it, with your nagging."

"My nagging?"

"Yes, you did..." Chris sighed and took off the upper layer of his outfit, underneath was a tight t-shirt made out of thick material, and leaned towards the walls of the elevator. He looked so incredibly handsome at the moment, I had trouble understanding how he hadn't ended up looking like a mess after this.

"I never understood why it was me." I uttered and leaned against the wall too but crossed my arms.

"Huh?"

"I don't understand why you looked at me in the first place and decided that...that you wanted...you had...feelings for me. It's hard to understand how something became out of us and even why."

Chris stared into the nothingness alike he was gathering his thoughts for a big speech then sat down on the floor. Again his eyes were not meeting mine.

"I think it had to do with the contexts in which I saw you. The first time when you were laughing with your friends, it reminded me of my old times where things were easier and when all this bio-terrorism hadn't existed as a subject, especially how much I missed that. Then I saw how scared you got when you looked at me and well...I just thought was kind of cute. And at the training center...you had a drive unlike others. I didn't know you and I don't really do now to be honest but there's not a lot of women willing to stay when surrounded by so many men but you did. It's also impressive to see how young you are but still mature, how lost you believe you might be but still find your way through, the reason you're not afraid of criticizing the big people in places like the BSAA - that really made me think back of the old days. There something that tells me we're made by the same material but still you have something that I don't and that makes you...desirable, I guess."

A moment of serenity lingered, my cheeks had turned red by each one of his spoken words and I did really start to feel bad about giving him a difficult time. Never in my life had anyone spoken like that about me, never and it meant a great deal for me. It merely reminded me of why I loved him, he was able to make me feel things no one else ever could.

"How's that for a love declaration?" Chris glared at me and we both ended up laughing. I sat down beside him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"It's more than enough." The stupid smile remained on my face. "I'm sorry. But I've been questioning my choices ever since I made them, I think I've felt insecure about everything since my father died and I hate how it still effects everything I do."

"Who was you father?"

"He worked for Umbrella. And it makes me believe that I picked this job because I never got to know him or his motives, I never knew if he was ever one of the good people or not and maybe I feel guilty for what the company has done to this world, maybe I'm trying to repent for what my father might have done."

Chris didn't say much for a moment. "What was his name?"

"Peter Jones."

"Hmm...I can't remember if I've ever stumbled onto his name. Maybe he was one of the people working with Wesker and Birkin at that time."

"Who are they?"

Chris took a deep breath and turned his face to me, a feeling of anger was in his expression as there was a little wrinkle between his eyebrows. "Birkin is dead, he had infected himself with a virus and was fought. Poor guy was just a man with a brilliant mind, I think it was too much for him."

"And that Wisker?"

Chris suddenly laughed. "It's not Wisker, it's Wesker. I shouldn't have laughed, it makes the subject more light-heated."

"Wisker..." I grinned.

"You could say he's the reason why I'm stuck here. Albert Wesker is one of the most vicious men you could meet."

"So he's alive?"

"That's the problem, I don't know..." Chris said. "I thought my partner...had taken him down with her but there's been several reports about sightings of him and he's a man who enjoys coming back from the dead."

"So it's this guy you've...?"

"We've got a personal thing but everything goes further than that, he is a insane person who uses everyone he can to take over this world and as long as I'm alive, he won't."

"If he's not dead."

"But what if he isn't?"

"Chris, there are a lot of horrible people in this world and if you think that taking one asshole down will do the job of making our world a better place-"

"He really is one of the worst and if he goes, other goes with him!"

"Whatever you say, Chris..."

I didn't feel like having more arguments with him so I stayed quiet. The words we wanted to speak had been spoken so quietness lingered until we heard a baninging on the roof and Chris and I reached for guns but the banging was followed by a man's voice asking if we were all right.

Chris and I had to climb up and go through the emergency exit. As I climbed out I saw how high up the elevator went and freaked out by the idea it might start to operate again.

"You're a fast, do you have to use the loo?" A fireman asked since I was franticly attempting to get out of the room in which the elevator moved within.

Chris followed directly after, we were given blankets and water despite we weren't civilians but the paramedics insisted, the other team members found us among the chaos of working authorities.

"You two look cozy." Mera stated joyfully.

Even Piers didn't have a crazed look despite being left by his partner with Mera. "That was a fairly okay mission, everyone is fine."

One of the guys, I believed was Tom opened his mouth. "Except my machine gun, one of the BOW grabbed it from me and threw out the window. But I found just now, thank God."

Mera laughed and hold onto herself. "Classic monkey behavior."

Piers's angered face returned and Tom was eyeing Mera.

"Get ready, we're leaving soon." Chris said and the group separated to see everything was all right but I remained beside Chris.

Suddenly a police with a mustache walked up to us, he had files in his hand. "Are you Chris Redfield from the BSAA?"

Chris nodded.

"I was asked to give you these pictures from the cameras, perhaps you should take a look at them."

I looked at him in worry, afraid there would be a picture of me vomiting but no the pictures were only two and they showed the bank before the outbreak, a man in his forties with sunglasses was leaving the bank.

"We need confirmation if that's the Albert Wesker, the man authorities have been looking for."

Chris closed the files, handed them back and stiffly muttered. "Yes, that's him."

* * *

 **And that's the end of part I of this story...any thoughts?**

 **I won't be updating for a long while, I am honestly not sure if I'll even continue. I mostly started writing this story for the simple reason to write more often and didn't know where to start so I ended up creating a fanfic. There is a lot I still have to figure out about how the story will continue or if it will or not but we'll see in the future...Also I'm hoping to post a special Christmas chapter so that'll probably be the last chapter I'll update this year! Time moves by so quickly o.O**

 **But if you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to tell them! Thank you for reading this story :)**


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